Movies Caption Contest #242: Regular Programming

[Triskelion]

Scotty: "Do I want a larger penis?" Yes please.
Chekov: You vill NOT click that link!

Geordi: Did this mofo just call me Chekov?

Ru'Afo: Ze Thtarthip! Ze Thtarthip, Bothh!
Geordi: Uh oh, looks like Beth has created a temporal paradox again. Trainees.
Beth: My panel's made of stickers!

 

[Alrik]

Scotty: "This one, nay, this one is for popcorn. This is the one for Hot Pockets."

Chekov: "Vell, vhat are you vaiting for?"

Geordi: It's for you Captain. The A.A.R.P. is having another membership drive."

Picard (O.S) Merde.

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Relax Bones, it's five o'clock somewhere."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Geordi: Don't trust him Sir, he killed Mozart!

Scotty: Och, see, the odd numbered films are worse!

Shatner: And here's a toast to the new Jack Ryan! It's no T.J. Hooker though, is it Chris?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Now, watch this security tape here! For just a moment, ye can see Khan's genetically enhanced wanger!"
Chekov: "Vat, in the name of the czars, makes you think ve vould be interested in this?!!"

 

[Mistral]

Scotty: "Now, watch this security tape here! For just a moment, ye can see Khan's genetically enhanced wanger!"
Chekov: "Vat, in the name of the czars, makes you think ve vould be interested in this?!!"

Sulu: "Hang on a second, Chekov..."

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead

LaForge: Uh, sir, I realize this is the wrong time to bring it up, but why am I here? It's like someone forgot that over 10 years ago I got promoted to Chief Engineer!

Scotty: There it is! In the Captain's log. "Stardate, something-or-other. I heard this really great joke the other day, a Jap, a Ruskie, and a Scot walked into engineering..."

Kirk: I don't always drink Romulan Ale, but when I do, it's Kre XX's.

 

[Armored Saint]

LaForge: Uh, sir, I realize this is the wrong time to bring it up, but why am I here? It's like someone forgot that over 10 years ago I got promoted to Chief Engineer!

DOUGHERTY: Do the maths Commander: Your Captain has a big heart. He's sad to see you unable to score. Trills are a notorious race of nymphomaniac. Ensign Perim is a Trill....

 

[shivkala]

LaForge: Uh, sir, I realize this is the wrong time to bring it up, but why am I here? It's like someone forgot that over 10 years ago I got promoted to Chief Engineer!

DOUGHERTY: Do the maths Commander: Your Captain has a big heart. He's sad to see you unable to score. Trills are a notorious race of nymphomaniac. Ensign Perim is a Trill....

Ensign Perim: The Perim symbiote says to tell you, not in all of its lifetimes, Commander.

 

[Triskelion]

Ru'Afo: Captain, won't you beam down for some fungus? And invite your Ops officer too, she looks like she would appreciate a nice fungus. That is, if your helmsman hasn't already offered her some of his fungus.
Geordi: This is why you brought us all the way out here? Really??
Dougherty: Totally worth it.

 

[Armored Saint]

MORGAN FREEMAN: I'm Admiral Geordi La Forge. My ship has been aspirated by a black hole and now I'm there to save this franchise.
GEORDI: Captain, I don't look like this guy.

 

[CaptainBearclaw]

SCOTTY: Must…get…high…score...
CHEKOV: Mr. Scott, the computer is off.
SULU: Then what am I looking at?

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Oh, it's that one guy that was in all those movies in the late 20th and early 21st century. Um, Samuel L. Jackson, I think.

Perim: Excuse me, sir, I believe that's Laurence Fisbourne.

Geordi: Really? Even in the 24th Century, we're still mixing up black actors?

 

[Triskelion]

Ru'Afo: Is Captain Picard a Baku?
Dougherty: No, it only seems like his speeches slow down time.

Chekov: It's the hamburger. You always get the hamburger. Push the hamburger button already.
Scotty: Don't rush me, lads.
Sulu: And it's - the hamburger. Command decision, sir.
Chekov: That vas five minutes of my life I vill never get back.

Kirk: Scotty what's my blood alcohol level?
Scotty: Point nine nine five sir. If I multiply your tolerance by my signature factor of four.
Kirk: Good man.

 

[Armored Saint]

Picard: Oh, it's that one guy that was in all those movies in the late 20th and early 21st century. Um, Samuel L. Jackson, I think.

Perim: Excuse me, sir, I believe that's Laurence Fisbourne.

Geordi: Really? Even in the 24th Century, we're still mixing up black actors?

PICARD: SHUT UP DENZEL!

 

[Maurice]

Thanks for the win.

PICARD: Opinions?
GEORDI: Entry hall tile looks stupid as a starship wall.
PICARD: Noted.

CHEKOV: Vhat do you make of this console?
SCOTTY: By the characteristic bumpy texture, I'd say it's cheap fiberglass.
CHEKOV: That's not vhat I meant!

KIRK: Romulan ale my tuckus. This is Windex®!

 

[CaptainBearclaw]

KIRK: Work, booze, work...

 

[Triskelion]

Admiral Dougherty: Sorry Picard, as you can see from our shiny space outfits, this club is "Members Only," if you know what I mean.
Picard: Surely someone on this ship could let me borrow such a jacket long enough for a diplomatic mission, Mister LaForge?
Geordi: Why would you assume I had a Member's Only jacket?
Picard: I...um....
Beth. He totally does, though.
LaForge: That's not the point!

Scotty: This Thai masseuse looks like she has strong hands.
Chekov: Are you senile? She's got an adam's apple!
Sulu: And...?

I'm drunk enough, now I'm ready to tell Spock about the birds and the bees and the Yeomen and the performance evaluations.

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!