Movie Caption Contest #99: Blu-Ray Blues - The Motion Picture

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Auditions for the Captain's cabin boy will begin at 0800. In the meantime some of you had better bone up on the regs regarding moonlighting as superheroes. I'm looking at you, Cuffman and Robin. You too, Black Vulcan, on the far right of the balcony. Who ever heard of a black Vulcan anyway?

Black Vulcan: I'm Supervolt, you white douchebag!

Lady behind chair: <muttering> Yeah, the fratboy brothers get antigravity footstools and I don't even rate a dang milk carton.
Guy in chair: What's that Lucy?
Lucy: Nothing sir. Hope your torso doesn't come loose in a crash, legbelts.

Warrior #1: To honor! To getting honor and staying honor!
Warrior #2: Oh gee, like I never heard that one before.
Warrior #1: Mee-ow!

McCoy: The Unabomber was just a misunderstood genius!
Kirk: Ok...

How are repairs coming Mr Scott?
Oh Captain we'll be workin' throught the night. No time to check in with Starfleet.
Care for a hand?
Aye, sir.
Which one is mine again?
Ramona, sir. She's the one with the ample nacelles and the reinforced exhaust ports.
You sir, know me too well.
Aye, all the repair shifts we pulled together, no doubt.

Pardon me boy. Is this the Delta-Vega Transport?
Track 29.
Why don't you give me a shine?
You sir, are an ass.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Hey! I had a lucrative business as a bearded pitchman going until you and Nogura had to go and ruin it!"

 

[Candlelight]

"...and so I said to the human, 'your head looks like a flarg!'"

*cue uncontrollable laughter*

Kirk loved the Farrah Fawcett cameo best of all.

"All I said was no scenes alone with James... that's all I said"

Guy on platform: "I've been subpoena?!?"
Guy with subpoena: "No but your platform has"
Platform: "Ah man..."

"Ok... how about this one... as per his will, Michael Jackson will be melted down and the plastic will be made into toys so that little boys can play with him for a change"

*silence, cricket chirps in the distance*

"Jim, the interlacing is getting worse!!"

 

[Candlelight]

"The cloud is approaching rapidly. We may be out on the mission for a while. It's gonna be a long, long time-"

"HE'S GONNA SING! SOMEONE TAKE HIM OUT!"

"Done"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Well I'll be damned; it was the shooter by the grassy bowl."

 

[zephramc]

Pardon me boy. Is this the Delta-Vega Transport?
Track 29.
Why don't you give me a shine?
You sir, are an ass.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Someone in pajamas like that shouldn't be making fun of my wardrobe!"

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Call me Grizzly Adams again and I'll punch your doughy lights out!

Kirk: How about Dan Haggerty?

McCoy: Your cruisin for a bruisin fatboy!

McCoy: How dare you poke fun at my ill fitting pants!

Kirk: I'm sorry but they do make it look like you're trying to smuggle a large marble in pecker your area.

Klingon Flunky, scared shitless: Sorry sir, we're out of coffee.

Klingon Captain: WHAT!

Guy on Floaty Thing: Hey I found a whole bunch of porn up here.

 

[Candlelight]

"I haven't seen this much cameltoe since I was in college..."

 

[Candlelight]

"We leave at 1400 hours. We have to... hey I just realised - statistically speaking I've shagged about ten of you. Anyway, where were we?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Have none of you guys ever heard of a cup?

 

[Candlelight]

"I see some of you are very excited about this mission. Ensign Davis over there is more excited than most. In fact I'd say he's practically gagging for it. That man wants to grab hold of the mission with both hands and give it a good shake. If he could I'd bet he would run up to the mission right now and give it one. Why can't we all be like Ensign Davis?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: How dare you trick me into watching that Two Girls, One Cup shit!

 

[Daneel]

KLINGON OFFICER: "You know, from this angle, and in this light, you kind of look like that Ambassador Sarek guy."

KLINGON CAPTAIN: "Filthy petaQ! I am so sick of hearing that!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KLINGON: Who does your hair? I love the layering! Fabulous!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

I'm having deja vu:

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"I'm glad you could make it down here for the mandatory karaoke night. First off, I'm going to be singing from one of 20th century Earth's greatest vocalists, William Shatner, doing a rendition of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.'"

 

[Bad Atom]

The first officer started to suspect that his captain was a Romulan spy... or maybe Vulcan...

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were Spock. You guys all look alike, you know."

Proof that Shatner and Doohan were amazing actors.

"Great to see so many of you dressed up today. $30 for the autograph, $50 if you want a photo."

 

[zephramc]

Time to dust this off...

Klingon Captain: Ahh... I see that you've met McCoy's Ass-Rubbing Clone™