Movie Caption Contest #83: Unbelievable

[Rat Boy]

Hey, stop fiddling around with that transwarp computer drive, because it's time for another contest (no, I have no idea what Scotty was talking about, either). Amazing how much mileage we've been getting for the last two weeks out of pictures that don't really feature the main characters, but this week it'll be different. First, of course, we give dirty looks to...

For the picture of Scotty holding back from telling Styles that's not how you smoke a cigar, our winner is...

STYLES:"Hi, Captain Scott."

SCOTTY:"Not yet, sir...but with the help of a fifth of Scotch whiskey and a blunt I brought back from Wrigley's Pleasure Planet I soon will be!"

For the picture of one Romulan violating the sacred rules of the urinal, our winner is...

Rom 1: "Hnafirh'rau"
Rom 2: "Au nan'ha-favi"

Translation

Rom 1: "He who smelt it, dealt it."
Rom 2: "He who denied it, supplied it."

The Photoshop winner...

Styles: A holodeck, you say?
Scott: Aye, sir. You can have the girls; I'll just bang the Vulcan.

And finall the award for the Multi-Picture Caption:

How to Tell the Difference Between Terrans and Non-Terrans.

Figure One: Some alien species are almost identical to humans. One way to tell them apart is the sometimes unusual placement and display of their genitals. (NB: as Mr Scott demonstrates so ably here, to avoid offence it is wise to pretend not to notice).

Figure Two: Another method is to look at the dress of the individuals in question. Aliens cannot afford the same stylish uniforms as us fortunate Terrans and often have to make do with patchwork quilts their mommas made for them.

Congratulations to our winners and here's the updated tallies:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 38
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 35
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 28
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 24
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 20
The Laughing Vulcan 18
Outpost4 15
Turd Ferguson 14
Triskelion 13
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
middyseafort 9
Kegek 8
zephramac 8
DS9Sega 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Tharpdevenport 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
Alrik 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1

This week, we put a spotlight on a couple of moments where even the most logical and emotionally-controlled characters do crazy stuff that make you scratch your head. First up, we have Spock recreating the annual senior dip in the academy fountain. Second, we learn a new rule for TNG movies: if Data sings, it can't be good. Finally, we have a bonus pic by way of the special edition DVD of Star Trek IV, where Shatner starts getting a little fresh with Kelley and Nimoy pretends not to notice. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

Tourist on the right: "What smells like rotting fish?"

Of all the bridge officers, Data was the only one excited by the prospect of a Faith No More reunion.

After decades of bike thefts and backstabbing, Nimoy finally got back at Shatner by slipping a little something extra in Bill's morning coffee.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Tourist 1: "Thar be whales here!"

Riker didn't approve of Data practicing his mariachi dance at his post without a sombrero.

Kirk: "Pucker up, Bones."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Yay, Thanks for the win. I'm now one step closer to being one step further away!

Kirk: "Dammit Spock, what's the point of hiding your ears if you're going to flash the tourists with your bifurcation!"
Spock: "Someone asked me, 'How's it hanging, bro?' and I was endeavouring..."
Kirk: "Seriously Spock, give up on the slang, right now."

Riker: "Riker to security, be alert, there is a malicious robot on the loose in the starship. It just reprogrammed Data into one of the Three Stooges, it answers to Number 5."

The only way that Takei was ever going to be a Captain on Star Trek originally, was to don a Shatner Suit. But something gave the game away.

 

[Rat Boy]

They didn't necessarily mind the singing; it was the lack of pants that caught their attention.

 

[John Picard]

Data: "Let's see if we can jump to Warp 10 and sideswipe the Romulans."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Gracie is pregnant."

Gillian: "How the hell do you know that?"

Kirk: "Oh, God, not again, Spock."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Indeed, Admiral. It does smell like vagina down there.

The Slash fans had it all wrong; they really should've written K/B stories not K/S stories.

-or-

Kirk: I've got a bone to pick with you, Bones.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Spock, I don't think you can use a Wii controler to communicate with whales.

DATA (thinking): Call me "Pinnochio" one more time lard ass, just one more time and POW! Right in the face!

The reunion tours just weren't the same without MIchael Nesmith.

 

[Balrog]

Shatner: "C'mon, De. Don't you want join Leonard and I in an 'ole 'Kirk Sandwich'?"

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Could I interest you in some literature?

Spatial interference activates Dr Soong's original jar-opening program.

Don't forget Bones, Spock is half human. Watch this. <farts> Is he smiling? He's smiling, isn't he. So much for Kolinahr.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TOURIST: Marvin, Marvin! Quick take a picture. Its a couple of them there San Fran Cisco Gays you hear about!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "It was only a candy bar."

 

[zephramc]

Cmdr. Data's latest attempt to understand human nature. 20th century gang language and hand signs.

Data: Yo, yo! 'Da Federation'z 'n 'da hizzous! We gonn'a bust a cap 'n yo' azz bizatch! Word!

Bridge Crew: Groan...

 

[cooleddie74]

GILLIAN:"Is he saying something bad about my ASS?"

Data wasn't just down with the Pee-Pants. He was JIGGY with it.

SHATNER:"Hey, De...lemme know when Leonard stops breaking wind. Then I'll turn back around for the shot."

 

[cooleddie74]

TOURIST:"Wow.

Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner have REALLY fallen on hard times, huh?"

RIKER:"ENOUGH, Data.

You can bust a move with the bitches later. Right now we need a Level One surface scan!"

 

[Alrik]

Male tourist: "NICE shirt. I wonder where HE shops.'"

DATA: "What part of 'go pack sand' did you not understand Commander?"

Shatner: "I love standing between you two for these shots....it makes me feel so.....young."

Kelly: "I hear ya Bill. It reminds me of being back in the day too."

Shatner: "Um, right. That's exactly what I meant."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Gracie is pregnant."

GILLIAN:"DAMN YOU, Kirk!!!

Can't you keep it zipped up for FIVE minutes?!?!?"

DATA:"Just a moment, Commander.

Until the emotion chip was installed, I never realized just how much I loved Rick Astley."

SHATNER:"Whew.

One of you needs to shower."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Let's go, Admiral.

NOW.

I dropped our dime bag in the tank."

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Spock, leave the gun in your robe."

Spock: "But Captain, I can nail the fat bitch in the vest from here. She'll never stare at your man-girdle again."

Kirk: "I don't think that's what she's staring at. Didn't I tell you to keep your sash tied?"