Movie Caption Contest #68: It's a Perfect Time to Panic!

[Rat Boy]

All right, let's get the last of this mess cleaned up, since it's time for another caption contest. I'm sure somewhere laying around here somewhere are...

For the picture of Scotty doing his impression of Kramer during the parking lot episode of Seinfeld, our winner is:

Scotty and Chekov quickly realise that Kirk had slipped viagra with their morning coffee.

And for the picture of Picard informing Riker that this was why they couldn't have nice bridges:

Picard: "It's a pity my ready room's nude crotch-shot posters of Rosie O'Donnell didn't survive, but life goes on, eh, Numbah One?"

Congratulations to the winners and here's the updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 32
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 30
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 23
Gertch 19
The Laughing Vulcan 16
Outpost4 15
Shatmandu 15
Turd Ferguson 11
Triskelion 10
Diesel Micky Dolenz 10
Nebusj 10
scottydog 10
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
middyseafort 7
DS9Sega 7
Tharpdevenport 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
LeadHead 4
Finn 4
Atavachron 4
Herkimer Jitty 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
Mistral 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
casey 1
Cky 1

Now if Shatmandu's caption didn't scare the living crap out of you, I'm sure one of these pics will. Our first is from TMP, where Chekov couldn't help it, but he simply had to stick his finger in the electrical socket. The second is of Lily Sloane insisting that her medical insurance covers both severe radiation poisoning and attempted Borg assimilation. Our bonus pic comes courtesy of Forgotten Trek. It's from the "Memory Wall" sequence of TMP that was canned in favor of the theme park ride Spock went on to mind meld with V'Ger, but in the end the result is the same in both versions: a screaming Spock that is guaranteed to give you nightmares. Don't say I didn't warn you:

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov tried touching the Trek XI forum.

McFadden: "Hey, we're all stuck in this movie, too, so calm your ass down!"

Spock: "THE WOMEN!"

 

[jgdst]

Chekov: I CAN'T STOP IT KEPTIN! I'M GOING TO HIT THE RESET BUTTON ON THE WHOLE FRANCHISE!

Lily: NOOO! THIS IS THE VOYAGER SET, I KNOW IT IS. I ain't being a part of that!
Crusher: Shhh shh, it's okay. Calm down, crazy bitch, we're here to help.
Ogawa: What's a Voyagerset?

Spock: "THE WOMEN!"
(sorry for the lack of originality, but I don't think anything else should be allowed )

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Chekov: "Goddamnit! Have you assholes ever heard of a fuse? Or a f***king circuit breaker?"

Spock: "Where all da Earth wimmen at?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Vulcan in the headlights.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

23rd Century Old Wives Tale #47: Masturbation leads to smoking hands.

Lily: No... No... No! I will not participate in this thing called, "Three girls, one cup!"

In space, no one can hear you scream... unless you're a Russian navigator or a Vulcan science officer.

 

[Cky]

Chekov's one-man hand puppet show goes drastically wrong.

J.J. Abrams security team hold man angry fans on set.

Spock will now always relive the terrible terrible moment he saw Rosie O'Donnell pole dancing in the nude.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU (os): Dude, they're called "Hot Pockets" for a reason.

LILY: I ain't into no freaky three ways!!!!

THE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (jongredic is right)

 

[Gertch]

Chekov realizes his mother was right about the hairy palms...

LILY: "You don't seem to understand that WE'RE in charge now."

Spock finally watches 2 Ferengi women 1 pressed latinum cup.

 

[Rat Boy]

A fight breaks out in the mosh pit of Vomit's 100th birthday concert.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Lily: You'd be upset too, if you woke up to find this bitch staring down at you. Man is she a horse or what!
Ogawa: Yeah, we get that all the time.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chekov: "Aaaaaaarrggghhh! A verevolf! Aaaaaarrggghhh!"

Sulu: "Calm down Pavel, you've just forgotten to shave the back of your hands again."

Lily: "No! No way! Get away from me you freaks!"
Crusher: "But didn't Jean Luc tell you, in the future we've evolved to appreciate the lesbian threesome."
Ogawa: "I've got lube!"

After suffering a knock on the head and thirty years of amnesia, Michael Jackson wakes up and looks in the mirror."

 

[Triskelion]

It had been a long, lonely weekend for Pavel. And then the Ben Gay set in.

Beverly's newest production of "Roller Derby Bimbos" went smoothly - until Lily tried putting on skates.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Sulu: "Pavel, you're supposed to paint your fingernails red, and lie on your arm until it becomes numb, not necrotic."

 

[cooleddie74]

Depite years of Starfleet training as well as advanced technical know-how and service aboard the flagship of the Federation itself...Chekov sucked at using a George Foreman grill.

"Alyssa!!

HYPO!!! NOW!!! Strongest sedative you have!!

She found out about the sickbay service fees!!"

And...there...on V'Ger's seemingly infinite and complex memory wall...was a hook.

 

[cooleddie74]

"DAMMIT!!!!

Vy didn't anyvone remind me about aluminum foil in de microwave?!?"

 

[Rat Boy]

This is the exact moment where Walter Koenig's career piqued.

 

[Candlelight]

"Owie owie owie, dis is da second most painful experience of my life."
"What was the worst?"
"A brain slug in my ear. Don't vorry, I plan to never go near one of those again"

"I... I saw it! It was big, the nacelles were larger... and... AND IT WAS BEING BUILT ON EARTH!!"
"Relax Lili, it was just a dream, it couldn't possibly be real"

Spock, a split second before the sneeze dirtied his visor at the start of the three-hour space walk.

 

[Rat Boy]

Unfortunately, the memory wall mostly contained images from Ilia's wild weekend with Decker.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Lily: You wanna stick what... where?!