Movie Caption Contest #55: LOL

[Rat Boy]

What's that you want, TrekBBS? An encore? Well, you got one! First here are last week's winners:

Chekov: "What does it mean, 'Talk to the hand?'"

Scotty: "I dunno lad, but if we're using sign language now, I've got a speech impediment."

"Senator Tel'Aura, you can tell Shinzon and his Reman buddies that he'll have the Romulan Senate's support over our lifeless, crusty blue, disintegrating bodies."

Cromwell: I'm telling ya, Frakes, you're gonna need a wider lens if you want to fit yourself into the shot.

Photoshop winner. I was having trouble picking which one of his, so I'll just say both and give our award to:

"Hello Romulus! We are Spinal Tap from the UFP, you must be the RSE!"

PRAETOR: What's with the haircuts?

And a multi-picture caption winner this week:

And this is an Abyssinian Ringneck Parakeet, endemic to northwest Somalia. Tweet tweet!

Praetor, the rumors of an interstellar coup de grâce leading to civil war are of course a pressing issue for the Romulan Star Empire, and yea, the Alpha Quadrant; but first, the black-cheeked orange-breasted fig parrot. Coo-caaw! Coo-caw!

- I don't know, Levar, sounds like a red-shouldered macaw to me.
- No, no Jon, hear how that intonation goes up at the end? It's definitely a blue-ringneck or gray-cheeked parakeet. Possibly even an eclectus oratus.
- Northern Kaka.
- Damn, Earl's right. It's a Northern Kaka alright.
- Earl! Get back on set!

And our special Silver and Bronze Medals for best Olympic references:

Tal'Aura: "I'm telling you, all we have to do is change their birthdays on their passports! We'll sweep the women's gymnastics events!"

"And at this time praetor, I believe we need to concentrate our efforts on this Shinzon and- HOLY SHIT! PHELPS WON ANOTHER ONE!"

Congratulations to the winners, who have been added to the big ol' list:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 30
Year of Hell (Hall of Fame) 25
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 21
Gertch 16
The Laughing Vulcan 15
Outpost4 13
Shatmandu 13
scottydog 9
Nebusj 9
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Turd Ferguson 9
Diesel Micky Dolenz 9
Kegek 8
Triskelion 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
DS9Sega 6
Tharpdevenport 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
middyseafort 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
Finn 3
archerguy1701 3
LeadHead 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
Peach Wookie 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Bad Atom 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Herkimer Jitty 1

This week, we see why laughter is the best medicine. In the case of our bonus pick from the set of the fifth movie, Nimoy probably needed to laugh just to endure Shatner. Have at it:

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Aye, right in the ladies room."

Kirk: "I love refits!"

Data: "Hey Geordi, do you want to see a magic trick? I am going to make this pencil disappear."

Shatner: "Stop laughing. Sybok really is supposed to be your brother. Stop that!"

 

[Haggis and tatties]

The new starfleet all in one dump and go uniform pants were going down a treat.

Spiner shows how he got the part of data.

(I apologise, that's a bit nasty)

Shatner" Honestly Leonard.......they said i could direct the next movie!!!!"

 

[cultcross]

Just occasionally, a lolcat still cracked him up.

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: And then she said; "I guess you can change the laws of physics!"

Data didn't realize how much trouble he was going to be in when he did his impersonation of Picard in front of the crew.

Leonard Nimoy announces the next Star Trek film entitled: "The Karate Vulcan"

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Remember when we tag-teamed Rand, and then ye transfered her for bein' a slut?"
Kirk, laughing: "Yeah!"
Both laugh, then stop.
Scotty: "Ye think that's why she melted the Vulcan?"

Spiner: "A career? After Star Trek?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk's inner monologue: "Ignore the creey new mustache ... ignore the creepy new mustache ... ignore..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"AYE.

I know, Admiral.

Me bloody penis is tiny."

"...and when he came on board the Enterprise two years ago, did you notice how TINY Captain Scott's penis was?"

"I know. I know.

Doohan's got a vienna sausage for a weenie."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Yeah...that WAS a funny moment back then.

And remember when Yeoman Rand got held hostage by those Brady Bunch kids with leprosy?

Good times."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty immediately stopped laughing once Kirk explained the lengths he went through to "convince" Admiral Nogura to give him the Enterprise back.

 

[cooleddie74]

"AYE, sir...

Will Decker does seem like a complete and irredeemable pussy, doesn't he?

Poor lad."

 

[cooleddie74]

"OBSERVATIONAL JEWISH HUMOR...

I love it!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Aye, remember that time you fell asleep on the bridge and we dressed you up like a baby?"

Kirk: "I've sworn that one day I will kill you for that."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Doohan: "So, you'll not be allowed to steal our lines this go-'round?"

Shatner: "As far as you know."

Data: "But Geordi, I have made significant improvements since our last encounter. See? Retractable teeth."

Nimoy: "Sure, Bill. I'll put a good word in with Abrams for you. Hey, maybe I'll even refuse to be in the film if the great and powerful Shat isn't involved."

Shatner: "Thanks, Len. I'd really app.."

Nimoy: "Nah, you're on your own, fat boy."

 

[Candlelight]

"Ten bucks says she can’t sustain warp speed on her first time out of the docks without having some wormhole issues"

"Up your shaft"

Contrary to popular belief, Data's sudden laughter was unscripted; Brent Spiner suddenly realised the huge plot holes part way through filming.

Four out of five Vulcans recomment colgate.

 

[cooleddie74]

Quietly, both officers realized in their own separate moments of clarity that the new uniforms were gay. SUPER gay.

"I vant to suck your emotions. BLEH!"

"UH-OH.

I gotta be on the set of THE GOOD MOTHER in twenty minutes...quick...someone...get my loaded gun."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTT:"Bonnie nice gut, sir."

KIRK:"Tiny dick there...dick."

 

[Bad Atom]

Shatner and Doohan prove they have serious acting skills by pretending to like each other.

 

[Candlelight]

"Hahahaha... Montgomery Scott.... Scotty... I'm... hahaha... Scottish.... hehehe.... I just realised... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Kirk wished he'd just taken the dodgy-as-fuck transporter instead.

 

[Kirby]

Shatner: ... and then you say something like 'I know this ship like the back of my hand.' and then then whomp! right into some sort of pipe. Trust me, it'll be hilarious. Oh yeah, you should gain some weight too, the fans will like that.