Movie Caption Contest #54: The Audience is Listening

[Rat Boy]

Get the hook! Since I'll probably be too tired to do this tomorrow, here are our winners from the last contest:

McCoy: It's all part of the plan.

Quite all right, Data, I'll just hang on to her flotation devices.

"And, have you noticed that Doohan's boobs have started to firm up?"

And the Photoshop winner (surprise, surprise, given this week's Batman theme):

Suddenly McCoy had to be somewhere else.

Congratulations to the winners. Here be the updated list, which is looking like the medal list from this year's Olympics:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 29
Year of Hell (Hall of Fame) 24
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 21
Gertch 16
The Laughing Vulcan 14
Outpost4 13
Shatmandu 13
scottydog 9
Nebusj 9
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Kegek 8
Diesel Micky Dolenz 8
Turd Ferguson 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
Triskelion 7
DS9Sega 6
Tharpdevenport 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
middyseafort 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
Finn 3
archerguy1701 3
LeadHead 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
Peach Wookie 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Bad Atom 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Herkimer Jitty 1

This week, we discover that not everyone is comfortable with speaking in front of a crowd. Perfectly natural, really; even Harrison Ford gets tongue-tied on talk shows these days. Our bonus pick comes from behind-the-scenes footage from First Contact. No doubt Burton, Cromwell, and Frakes were pissed off about NBC tape-delaying the Olympics for the West Coast.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Her sister, on the other hand..."

Tal'Aura: "I'm out of order? You're out of order! The whole system is out of order!"

Frakes: "Jesus, LeVar! At least zip your fly next time."

 

[Rat Boy]

Normally I save the Photoshops for page 2, but since it's late and I spent all day working on it:

Things weren't the same after Vomit was elected president of the Caption Contest Character Congress.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Permission to go to the head?

PRAETOR:Did you do something different with your hair?

STANDING ROMULAN: Its still regulation, Praetor.

BURTON:So where did you hid the camera in Gates and Marina's dressing room?

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Yes, four times bigger. And next year at this time, we believe Scotty's chin will be five times bigger."

 

[scottydog]

Riker: "I agree, definitely worthy of a salute, LeVar. There will never be another John Holmes."

 

[Triskelion]

So then I said to Patrick Stewart, Hey Patrick! There are four lights! Dumbass.

No, Levar. No. Let's go back to the original assless chaps.

Counselor, don't forget your compact.
Oh that's all right, I'll be right back, I've just got to take this call -
But it's beeping, is that some kind of mobile phone application?
I'll be right back, really, just excuse me.
Oh wait, it's opening. What's it doing that for?
Look, I really should take this call -
Well here's your phone right here, just pick it up. Oh it's spraying something now.
D'oh!

 

[Rat Boy]

Barney the Testicles started to wonder if he was "hip" enough to run with this sort of crowd.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Where will you be when your space diarreah returns?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Shatner: I have no idea what these men are bitching about. I've been nothing but a cordial actor to my fellow thespians.

Romulan Senator: And I have proof of WMDs along the Federation side of the Neutral Zone!

Cromwell: I'm telling ya, Frakes, you're gonna need a wider lens if you want to fit yourself into the shot.

 

[Gertch]

KIRK: "There will be 5 lights. This one (wiggles thumb) just wont be as bright."
Scotty: "That must be yours then."

PRAETOR: "There are 4 beams!"

BURTON: "Damn. We need 4 sunglasses."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Romulan CSPAN. Same goddamn thing for 24 hours and the mic's cut for secrecy.

 

[Rat Boy]

Doohan couldn't help but laugh when Shatner's chair broke out from under him after he pulled the screws.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Even after 28 years of practice, Shatner still couldn't make his fingers do that "live long and prosper" thingy.

Dooohan (thinking): "Putz"

Tal'Aura: "I'm telling you, all we have to do is change their birthdays on their passports! We'll sweep the women's gymnastics events!"

Frakes: "Holy shit! Is Dorn using both fists?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"In case the reading public was curious...

I used this hand.

TWICE.

Before the Rigellian cops dragged me off."

SPEAKER:"I see once again that Senator O'bama isn't here for a vote.

Running for Praetor's really gone to his damn head."

CROMWELL:"Why didn't someone TELL ME the left one was hanging this low?!!?"

 

[26138]

Madame Tussauds Star Trek exibit proved to be a popular attraction for wax museum patrons.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Talk to the hand, bitches.

Jim Dawg don't play this."

"The final vote is 103 to 21.

The resolution to import more Vitalis and Vidal Sassoon is agreed to."

FRAKES:"As you can see, James, I wanted Dr. Cochrane to have a robust, No Drunk Tank Can Hold Me appeal."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I just got word from the Praetor himself.

He wants the new Satin and Velvet Robes Bill passed. Now."

 

[Candlelight]

"Here's something Doohan can't do"
"Up your shaft"

"Excuse me but I have a meeting with the Bolian ambassador. You know, you would think we could come up with some new aliens being the tenth movie 'n all but I guess trying to make the Trek universe seem as small as possible is our specialty these days"
"Don't worry, it's not like a prequel is gonna happen after this movie"

"You're right Levar, the joystick idea really doesn't work. Promise I won't try and use it again"

 

[Nerys Myk]

"Due to a shortage of bowls, Imperial Haircut Day has been canceled."