Movie Caption Contest #51: Punk'd

[SciFi75]

Nimoy: Another one of your fans wishes to express his fondness for Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Bill.

 

[Shatmandu]

Soran, just entering room to interrogate LaForge: "We need you to tell us ... Oh. Now I know how you went blind."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Piss off, Sister Mary Catherine!"

DICK CLARK'S VOICE OFFSCREEN:"We secretly switched character actor Tom Hardy's usual conainer of ice cold water with some of my co-host Ed McMahon's saliva and clear prostate drainage...let's see what happens when the BLOOPERS cameras roll!"

 

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"No offense and not to pry or anything, Doctor Soran...

but...are those overhead lights environmentally sound?"

 

[Candlelight]

Levar Burton picked the worst time to pass a stone.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Soran: I'm sorry, Commander, but this isn't the toilet.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SORAN: You're not that lucky with the ladies, are you La Forge?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Soran: Yes, I too am horrified by Lursa and Bator. It's enough to make a man go blind.

 

[Hedbergian]

SORAN: DAMNIT GEORDI!! I have my eggs, I have my coffee, no toast. NO - TOAST! ... You know I need my toast! ...
GEORDI: Wait a sec, wait . ... 5, 4, 3, 2, refresh ... Oh come ON!!! ... THAT TOASTER WAS MINE!!! ... Damn sniper bidders.
SORAN: Can we just go to Bed Bath and Beyond, PLEASE ?

 

[Nerys Myk]

20 years later:

Sometimes on the weekends, when doesn't have the kids, he cranks the music and rocks out in his basement.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Clearly he is on his way to the Green Day concert at the Shoreline Amphitheater."

Soran: "Look, I didn't hit you that hard. Stop crying, dammit!"

Hardy: "Amway, eh?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Here's what I think of your Gladys Knight and Hall and Oates mixtapes, asswipe!!"

SORAN:"Well, then...if this is anything like your real-life Ray Charles looked and acted...I suppose I won't be availing myself of your starship's holodeck program!"

"Oh, I can drool and spit even MORE in this thing if you dare me to."

 

[cooleddie74]

GEORDI:"They canceled JERICHO...again?!?

WHY, God?! Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Spock: I believe he is imagining he is the great 20th century rock legend "Michael Bolton."

Soran: Look, dammit, if you don't stop critiquing my cleaning abilities, I'm going to insert this nanoprobe rectally.

 

[scottydog]

Soran: "Thank you for gargling with mouthwash. During our next kiss you may use as much tongue as you like."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Soran: All the finest 24th century technology the Federation has to offer, an enlightened view on alien worlds and cultures, and no disease or war to speak of for over 300 years, you'd think humanity would be evolved enough to COVER THEIR DAMN NOSE AND MOUTH WHEN THEY SNEEZE!

 

[Rat Boy]

Vomit (thanks, Nerys Myk): "I don't care if you don't like Harry Potter, we're listening to it on books on tape all the way to Fresno!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:" Sorry, young man. I'm not sure what you mean...'read between the lines.' "

SORAN:"Oh, come ON, Commander.

Rita Rudner's not THAT funny."

"A chance to play a younger clone of Patrick Stewart in a STAR TREK movie?

Okay...fine. But if I get the callback for the MEOW MIX commercial, I'm outta here."

 

[cooleddie74]

"It's called a Gore Vidal audiobook, asshole!! Grow up and get with the program, Neanderthal!"

 

[Tim]

Dr. Soran continues his torture of Geordi, now reprogramming his Lisa Brahms holoprogram to make the happy ending more biting.