Movie Caption Contest #45: Private Consultations
- Thread starter Rat Boy
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RobertScorpio
Pariah
Picard: "Ensign Hashiota, I'm to shy to ask Geordi. Could you ask him for me?"
Hashiota: "Sir, I don't think he will protest too much if you tried to french-kiss him in front of everyone. THIS is California you know."
FBI 1: "Did you see what that Pinko Commie was wearing?"
FBI 2: "Pinko is right. I know this is San Francisco but damn!"
Chekov offscreen: "That's the last time I go clothes shopping vith Sulu."
Geordi: "You're needed on the bridge Captain."
Picard: "Let's go Geordi...
....
....
Ensign, I'll need little Jean Luc"
Guy in back looking away: "Hmmm, Rock monsters. I wonder how'd they'd work in my Galaxy Quest script?"
"He's a Russkie."
"Of COURSE he's a Russkie...but he's got a Little Dutch Boy fetish or somethin'!"
PICARD:"Inform Deep Space Nine we're going to be a little delayed returning Commander Worf...and send the following to Colonel Kira Nerys in Ops:
Nice Ass, Wrinkle Nose."
"As regards STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER...
I'm sorry. I...apologize. Wholeheartedly."
"I have his Little Black Book.
It's full of names of women from places named Risa...and Wrigley's Pleasure Planet...and something called Sulu's Ass."
FBI AGENT: "Of course he's a Ruskie! But seriously....would ya do him?"
Picard: "...so then Cmdr La Forge starts braggin' about some broad he's been Holo-bangin'! You believe that shit? He's as lame as Riker! ... Oh, hell, he's right behind me, isn't he?"
Shatner: "You know, before I answer any more questions there's something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled... y'know... hundreds of miles to be here, I'd just like to say... GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed! You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!""
Whatever you do...don't mention his lazy eye. We'll hear it all night.
So...do you think I can pull off a vest too?
No. But you've got the pencil-behind-the-ear styrofoam coffee vibe down.
First I'd like to thank you all for coming to my basement. Mom doesn't usually let me have company, but she's got Chips A'hoy and Tang for everyone.
Picard: "There he goes again, talking about 'Ceiling Cat'. Who is this, 'Ceiling Cat'?"
"We've gotta wrap this up. I gotta go.
I'm due on the set of SCARECROW & MRS. KING in three hours."
"Ensign...contact Deep Space Nine...tell them our return of Commander Worf will be slightly delayed.
No details...just tell them it has something to do with a bat'leth accident and rectal trauma."
GUY IN CHECKERED SHIRT WITH CAMERA:"Hey...Mister Shatner?
Can you look towards me? I need a shot of you with your hairpiece reflecting more overhead light."
"Whaddya think? Is he a Russkie?
Or just a dude from Chicago with a REALLY corny and over-the-top commie accent?"
William Shatner hated his new job as the White House Press Secretary.
"Yes, fruity as a nut cake. Next question?"
William Shatner hated his new job as the White House Press Secretary.
I'm especially honored by the presence of James Garner and a young Jeff Foxworthy. And isn't that Abe Vigoda's wife behind you? Mrs Fish?
You've got Scarecrow? I'm auditioning for Remington Steele, as soon as my contract with Jake and the Fat Man is over.
Yeah, I'm doing Cannon. Kojak didn't offer enough. Savalas - he's no player!
Beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop .
Captain. Captain? Captain! That's not even a real language you're speaking.
Yes it is, Geordie. Meet Ensign BeepBoop of the Atari Cluster.
Beep?
Boop boop boop. She says it's nice to meet you. You should answer in her native language.
Uh, Beep?
Jackass.
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"I'm honored to be the emcee of the First Annual Bad Hairpieces in American Cinema Awards..."
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"So...whaddya think, Jerry?"
"About the Russkie?"
"NO. About my marriage. Should I tell Kim I've been banging that underage cheerleader behind the dumpster or not?"
"I don't know if this is a bad time to tell you but that blue light on the fourth panel just went red."
"What does that mean?"
"I thought you knew?"
Picard: Oh, shit, here comes Geordi. I'll let him talk for a minute and when he starts on about that Reading Rainbow crap, I want you to come over and tell me that there is an emergency or something.
Ensign: Should I use the Borg again?
Picard: No, that's gotten old. How about I got a clone that is trying to start a war with the Federation. It sounds a little flimsy but...shhh...here he comes!
Picard: This seems to be going- oh no, it's Geordi. He'll probably say there's a problem with Data's mission which will involve us having to cut short our reception and leave, only for Data to attack us, force me to sing Gilbert and Sullivan to bring him under control, uncover a plot by the Federation to move 600 defenceless people and break the prime directive, all of which achieved by us getting out of uniform and becoming youthful again.
Geordi: Captain, there's a problem with Data's mission which means we will have to cut short our reception and leave, then Data might attack us, forcing you to sing Gilbert and Sullivan to bring him under control, then you might uncover a plot by the Federation to move 600 defenceless people and break the prime directive, all of which achieved by us getting out of uniform and becoming youthful again.
Picard: I'd never have guessed.
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