Movie Caption Contest #228: A great way to start the year.

[LeadHead]

Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the repeated delays. Lets get things moving.

First up to the plate, we have the "Design Oversight" Award, going to:

Drone 1: This would be easier if they had kept the "start" button.

Next, we have the "High Turnover" Award, going to:

Krudge: Gunner, target their engine only. I want prisoners.
Other Klingon: Sir, you executed the main gunner, I'm just the janitor. I don't even know what an engine looks like.

Next, we have the "Starfleet's the Good Guys, Right?" Award, going to:

Spock: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just signed legislation outlawing the Klingon Empire. The Genesis terraforming of Kronos begins in four minutes.

Loved our Photoshops this contest! Two winners! Here they are:

Spock: If that concludes the meeting let the hot tub party commence. Please observe the dynametric limit on Speedo tension force. What is it, Mister Scott?

Scott<grumbles>: Fifty pounds per square inch.

Spock: Thank you, Mister Scott.

And...

SPOCK: And now Captain Scott will throw the ceremonial first dice and this casino will officially be open.

A Special Award goes to Isis for making me laugh bigtime about an extremely annoying problem that I'm going through with Microsoft and Xbox Live. (Believe me the problem isn't funny, but given that I first saw this right after spending lots of time talking to a brick wall. "A brick wall" being a great name for Microsoft Support in my opinion at the moment.

Borg: "Since they made us put symbols in our password, I can never keep track of mine. I need some help--can anyone find me a criminal or a 10-year-old boy?"

Nimoy: Does anyone have a question?

*All hands go up*

Nimoy: That's not about Star Trek?

*All but two hands go down*

Nimoy: Nor The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins...

Great contest this time around! Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need to talk.

Picard: What is it, Beverly?

Crusher: Wesley isn't your son.

Picard: What?

Crusher: It gets better, he's you from an alternate universe where your hair didn't fall out.

Spock: (listening) They say, they can save us 10% by changing our long distance carrier.

Chekov suspected that the new crew members would try to get rid of him at the first opportunity. He was right.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "I've called both of you here to say nice things about me."

....

Picard: "Any time now."

McCoy: "Damn it, man, you green blooded hobgoblin!"

Spock: "If you'll pardon me for a moment doctor, I am recieving a hail from 1-800-Go-Fuck-Yourself."

Decker: "Yep. Carpal tunnel. One 'photon torpedo' too many, eh Chekov?"

 

[Triskelion]

Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need to talk.

Picard: What is it, Beverly?

Crusher: Wesley isn't your son.

Picard: What?

Crusher: It gets better, he's you from an alternate universe where your hair didn't fall out.

LOL!



TFTW, Leadhead!

Picard: I've asked you both here to help me source a new hair guy.
Crusher: What makes you think we know a good hair guy?
Picard: I've scanned your carpet. Or should I say, your hardwood flooring. Who does your drapes?
Riker: Thank you for inviting me for this, Captain.
Picard: Indeed, Number One.

Is that Jim? Ask him if he's got my disco medallion!
Patience, Doctor, I am waiting for him to complete his massage instructions.

...Fascinating.

Ilia and I will now demonstrate how to use a condom.

Nooooooo!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for blending me.

Crusher: I've finished the crew evaluation, and only one crewmember needs to be put on an emergency diet.

Riker: It's Worf, right?

Spock: I have now listened to the entire 50 Shades of Grey audiobook and can find no logical reason as to why Uhura spends so much time alone in her quarters with it.

Chekov: Christ, Shatner wasn't kidding about what these uniforms do to your balls. For the love of God, change it for the sequel!

 

[R. Star]

Happy new year everyone, and thanks for the win Leadhead!

Crusher: We have to tell you something Jean-Luc.
Riker: Well.... Beverly and I are... getting married.
Picard: What?! How could you two do this to me, I--- wait, so does that mean Counselor Troi is available?

Spock: I have a vision of my future. You are in it, but look different.
McCoy: Look different?
Spock: Almost as if someone replaced you.

Decker: Okay, okay, Chekov! I promise to have the quartermaster issue me a jumpsuit a size bigger at the waist... sheesh!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kelley: "My God, man! You would not believe some of the things George and Nichelle were just telling me about what an asshole Bill Shatner is! I had no idea!"

 

[shivkala]

Gates McFadden: Look, Patrick, we've played along so, far, but really, it's been over 10 years now, and, well, it's over. At first, it seemed like fun, put on the old uniforms and recreate some of the scenes, but, it's time to move on.

Patrick: I see, thank you Doctor. Number One, your analysis of the situation?

Jonathan: Clearly the Doctor has been brainwashed, Sir. I recommend isolating her before she causes real damage.

Gates: *under her breath* What the Hell, Frakes?

Jonathan: *under his breath* Oh, he's nuttier than a fruitcake, but until his checks stop clearing, I'm playing along...

McCoy: No, seriously, what's death like?

Spock: Excuse me, Doctor, I'm getting a call that I have to take...

McCoy: Damn him and damn his invisible phone trick!

Persis: What's the matter?

Stephen: He saw your head and thought Shatner's toupee fell off again...

Persis: I don't understand.

Stephen: Pray you never have to...

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Could you play "Georgia On My Mind"?

SPOCK: Yo, read the sign. I don't do requests!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Chekov: "Get his bulge away from me! Get his bulge away from me!"

 

[BriGuy]

Spock: I'm sorry, doctor, I'm currently tripping too much on LDS to deal with your shit.

(Please add your own exaggerated Russian accent to Chekov's lines...)

Decker: Pavel, what's wrong?

Chekov: I... I have seen the future! I go from being a competent security officer to bumbling idiot used only for exposition and comedic relief! It can't be true!

 

[inflatabledalek]

(Please add your own exaggerated Russian accent to Chekov's lines...)

Decker: Pavel, what's wrong?

Chekov: I... I have seen the future! I go from being a competent security officer to bumbling idiot used only for exposition and comedic relief! It can't be true!

Decker: Don't worry Pavel, it's just an untrue dream. You've never been competent.

 

[Finn]

McCoy: ...You green-blooded hobgoblin...
Spock: Could you please scoot over, Doctor. You are blocking my view of Nyota.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: I can't believe you've let me do this to you under the table for five minutes without saying a word, Beverly.

Beverly: Do what?

<Riker clears throat>

Pepperoni, you walking abacus. If you order anything other than pepperoni on the pizza I'll have you in a court marshal for that little incident on Risa.

...and half sehlat sausage, half eel.

Why you pointy-eared, green-blooded -

May I remind you Doctor, of who manned the camcorder during said incident?

And then Chekov swore he would never pre-pay for a head job again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECKER: Relax, its was just an early review. I'm sure the later ones will be more positive.

 

[Maurice]

CRUSHER: The rabbit died.
PICARD: You're pregnant?
CRUSHER: No. Will is.

KELLEY: They what?!
NIMOY: Picked Bill to direct Star Trek V.

COLLINS: Walter! What's wrong?
KOENING: The script! They. Keep. Changing. It!

 

[Triskelion]

Beverly: No, Jean Luc. You can't order one crewman to get a boob job without making the entire crew get boob jobs.

Picard: Make it so.

Well who is it, Spock?

It is a pocket ring. Apparently Captain Kirk is wrestling cats in a pie factory with Captain Pike.

How do you know it's Pike?

He is repeatedly beeping once for "yes."

Ilia: His body is rejecting his leisure suit.

 

[Finn]

Beverly: You gotta do something about Data. He rediscovered a video of Tasha, Deanna and I showering after a swim from our first year on the D. He created a holoprogram out of it and keeps the file in his quarters.

Picard: Number One, can you deal with Data about this?

Riker: I'll take care of it. *leaves*

Beverly: *smirks*

Picard: What?

Crusher: I didn't mention the video also includes Worf in the background.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW.

Crusher: "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people."

Picard: "Sorry to disappoint you, Beverly, but I cannot let you participate in this year's talent show."

Spock: "Darn. The Royale is calling. They want their robe back."

Despite his claim that she "vas inwented in Russia," Chekov's Lady Gaga impression was not well received.

 

[Triskelion]

The crew wants you to pronounce it "skedule," Jean Luc. The other way sounds, well, douchey.

Number One?

I've also updated your jacket size with the quartermaster, sir.

Query, Doctor: "Rusty trombone?"
Put Jim on speaker, Spock.

We're not going to roofie you to 'probe your missile silo,' Chekov!

Date rape is a Russian inwention!