Movie Caption Contest # 20: Auld Lang Syne

[Rat Boy]

Well, the Christmas holiday may be over, but I'm still in the giving spirit. Here are the winners for this week:

Nebusj said:

Woman: I'm not sure I can tell you where ...
Uhura: You'll have our undying gratitude!
Chekov: Yes, ewerlasting gratitude!
Woman: I don't really know ...
Uhura: We can pay you twenty dollars!
Chekov: Yes, tventy good solid dollars!
Woman: It's just ... uhm ...
Uhura: You can have Chekov!
Chekov: Yes, you can have -- wait a minute.
Woman: Sold!

Arthur Frelling Dent said:

Nichelle Nichols: Please let us onto the film set. If we could just talk to him, I'm sure JJ Abrams would let us be in the new movie. Look! We even brought our own costumes!

OphaClyde said:

Tourist #1: "Say, Marge, dis is a nice place. Dey got better weather than in Wisconsin, ya know..."

Tourist #2: "Hey look! Dere filmin' on of dose 'Star Track' movies. Oh, dat's really super. Ooooo, I hope da folks at home get to see us..."

snowman1701 said:

Riker gave Data a playful kick in the crotch, not realizing there was actually something down there to break.

Finngle Bells said:

Riker: "What's wrong?"
Data: "I had a horrible thought"
Riker: "What is it?"
Data: "Thanks to my new emotion chip, I'm worried Tasha was faking it that night".

scottyuletide said:

Riker describes what Lwaxana Troi looks like naked.

BriGuy said:

So this is Christmas, and what have you done...
Oh, just allowed your ship to be blown up, and every living being on it and within a solar system to be killed... otherwise, not much.

Nerys Myk said:

Picard: "Stupid Nexus... I'm JEWISH!!!!!"

Reindeer1012 said:

Looks like Patrick Stewart forgot to change out of his Picard costume before auditioning for A Christmas Carol.

The multi-pic award:

LeadHead said:
Multi Picture Response:

Data: Commander, What is it?
Riker: You can't tell anyone but the Captain is serving Klingon Gagh with Liver at his Christmas Party.
Data: Do not worry Sir, I will not tell anyone.

Data didn't keep his promise.

And two Photoshop awards:

Grintch said:

Janeway: "Jean-Luc! Over here! Damn Chakotay, he can't hear us. Aim phasers at his combadge and fire."

The Cutest of Borg said:

"All right, which one of you little shits broke my new starship display?"

Congratulations to all. Now, as we close out 2007, let's resolve to party hearty but responsibly, never hug in front of Klingons, and never ever let Data sing at weddings:

Happy New Year!

 

[Rat Boy]

Korrd: "Do I know you?"

Riker (thinking): Whose idea was it to serve barbeque baked beans at a wedding anyway?

 

[Aldo]

Captain Picard helpfully explains to Riker, Crusher, and Troi how big his dick is.

 

[zephramc]

Picard: "When am I tying the knot? Well... rest assured never! Let me tell you, I met this chick on Risa.... I mean her ass was like BAM... and her..."

Riker (thinking to himself): "I just got married... WTF was I smoking?"

Crusher and Troi (thinking): "Just smile and nod..."

 

[Kegek]

Scotty: Ye Klingons may have two stomachs lad, but ye still cannae drink like a Scotsman.

Picard: And I was holding the ball in my hand like so and I threw it into a kind of trash can thusly. It was suspended in mid-air for some reason, you understand. Geordi called the game ballbasket, I believe...

 

[BriGuy]

Scotty: This will help your evening with Sulu pass more... smoothly.

Picard: ...and so, you can imagine the admiral's surprise when the Bolian theoretical physicist...

Beverly: Pretend to look interested.. pretend to look interested... pretend to look interested...

Picard: ... but no one could possibly expect that the quantum flux of the capacitor would come to be a negative on the Vulcan scale of...

Riker: He just keeps going. He won't stop. Why won't he just shut up? Can't he tell we're bored to death? This is my wedding, damn it.

Picard: ... but from a purely historical perspective, the state of technology among pre-warp civilizations has never thought to have been...

Troi: Read my mind - shut up. Read my mind - shut up. Read my mind - ... oh, the hell with it.

 

[scottydog]

Scotty: "Aye, I feel it. No wonder you are always giving me the cold shoulder."

Picard: "Avert your gaze, everyone, until he extracts that spinach caught between his teeth."

 

[Arthur Frelling Dent]

Scotty: Here ya go, lad. Try this delightful, um, whiskey. What? Why, yes, it does smell like almonds. Just ignore that. Cheers! Drink up!

While Picard explained the importance of the historic treaty finally establishing everlasting galactic peace he had just spent 5 years helping negotiate, Riker waited patiently until the appropriate time to ask, "Are you going to eat that or can I have it?"

 

[A beaker full of death]

Crusher: Jean-Luc, you do realize that only her head is invisible, don't you?
Riker: I was hoping she wouldn't tell him.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Scotty: So laddie, can i ask, where do you get your comfortable looking size 56 waist pants from....?

Picard:"...And these two police women start to walk towards me, and one is pointing at me saying ," HALT!!!..Your under arrest", and i say " Oh you think so"... so i concentrate and all their clothes fall off, and they try to hid all their bits but its to late because i have seen everything..."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Where I come from, we call it a 'Mickey.'"

PICARD:"...so then Will gets drunk, vomits on the table and asks the Gorn to put its claw in his rectum!"

 

[Rat Boy]

cooleddie74 said:

SCOTTY:"Where I come from, we call it a 'Mickey.'"

And thus the Romulans' first attempt to brainwash a Starfleet engineer into an assassin failed miserably.

 

[shakov]

TITS

 

[BriGuy]

You sure you wouldn't want to come to Earth? I'm thinking of buying a boat.

Unknown to most fans, this scene was intended as the setup for the next great Trek movie:

Scotty and Kord go to White Castle.

 

[Gertch]

Scotty: "So laddie, do you know any good Klingon musicals? Perhaps you might want to come back to my place and watch a gladiator movie or see my charcoals of scantily clad Klingon warriors?"

 

[archeryguy1701]

Yay, I won one! Thank you kindly!

Scotty, unaware he was a carrying a tribble, approached the Klingon to share a drink. Scotty wouldn't live long enough to see his boat.

 

[Nebusj]

Naughty Boy said:
Well, the Christmas holiday may be over, but I'm still in the giving spirit. Here are the winners for this week:

Nebusj said:

Woman: I'm not sure I can tell you where ...
Uhura: You'll have our undying gratitude!
Chekov: Yes, ewerlasting gratitude!
Woman: I don't really know ...
Uhura: We can pay you twenty dollars!
Chekov: Yes, tventy good solid dollars!
Woman: It's just ... uhm ...
Uhura: You can have Chekov!
Chekov: Yes, you can have -- wait a minute.
Woman: Sold!

Oh, thank you kindly, and Merry New Year.

As Koord watched with fascination the engineer's remarkable card trick and bartending stunt, Scotty stole the General's wallet.

``And so, Beverly, that's why, after considerable deliberation, I have made the command decision that you aren't going to be in this movie either and why do you look so gleeful about this? Do you know something about the script I don't?''

 

[Amaris]

"Ye better drink up, Laddie. There's a Nemesis caption after this one."

Picard: Dear God, how did it come to this?!
Troi: (Not again)
Picard: I played Richard the Third
Riker: Five curtain calls
Picard: Five curtain calls! I was an ACTOR once, damn it. Now look at me... LOOK AT ME!
Crusher: Settle down Captain.
Picard: No. I can't go out there! I won't say that ridiculous catch
phrase one more time! I can't. I won't!

And in the spirit of continuation:

J.

 

[rmkwebdesign]

Scotty: "Korrd, you're a sagging old rust bucket and you look like a garbage scow!"

Korrd: "Cheers!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

J. Allen said:

"Ye better drink up, Laddie. There's a Nemesis caption after this one."

Picard: Dear God, how did it come to this?!
Troi: (Not again)
Picard: I played Richard the Third
Riker: Five curtain calls
Picard: Five curtain calls! I was an ACTOR once, damn it. Now look at me... LOOK AT ME!
Crusher: Settle down Captain.
Picard: No. I can't go out there! I won't say that ridiculous catch
phrase one more time! I can't. I won't!

And in the spirit of continuation:

J.

What a coincidence! Guess which movie was on telly in the UK last night?