Movie Caption Contest #194: Reassignments

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: It was a joke, Will! I'm sure you have no problem ejecting the warp core in bed. Aw, is little Willie Riker gonna take his ball and go home now.

 

[cooleddie74]

DECKER: NO, ADMIRAL.

You can't borrow my Playboys.

I've heard the stories.

PICARD(thinking): Well.

There he goes.

And the bastard still owes me forty bucks from all those poker games.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "'Buttcheek Larue'? No, I haven't heard about that period of Deanna's past! But if you'll excuse me, I'm damn well about to! Deanna!"

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "If anyone needs me I'll be in my bunk."

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD: PUT MY WALLET BACK, WILL.

Nice try...but I can see the bulge in your backside.

 

[Expo67]

DECKER: "Admiral, this is almost a totally new Enterprise. You don't know her a tenth as well as I do."

KIRK: "We're not discussing a woman's measurements, Will."

SCOTT(shaking his head).

 

[Candlelight]

PICARD: PUT MY WALLET BACK, WILL.

Nice try...but I can see the bulge in your backside.

Riker (thinking): "I really hope he can't tell I just shat meself"

PICARD(thinking): Well.

There he goes.

And the bastard still owes me forty bucks from all those poker games.

Riker (thinking): "I hope he doesn't think we played poker heaps; he only played with me once during the series finale. Senile old fool."

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD: Damn.

He's leaving for good.

Guess I shouldn't have mentioned being in that third X-MEN movie.

 

[cooleddie74]

DECKER: This is all part of some devious plot to put me on a family-friendly TV show with that 20th century whale biologist...

isn't it?

 

[BriGuy]

DECKER: And yeah, "admiral," I DID Tweet a picture of my bulging crotch to Carol Marcus. And you know what? She liked it. NO! She LOVED it.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, "admiral."

 

[cooleddie74]

DECKER: Yes...my father WAS killed by a gigantic space gefiltefish.

Stop rubbing it in, dammit.

 

[Epsilon-9]

Decker: I‘ve just spent last 2 years doing odd jobs at star fleet as a janitor to pay off for my sex operation.

 

[Maurice]

DECKER: Fine. take command. But at least kiss me.
KIRK: Kiss you? Why?
DECKER: Because I like being kissed when I'm getting screwed.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Decker: Sir, it's Scotty. Someone's got to tell him the 70's porn star look just isn't working for him. It's embaressing when he goes in the transporter room and tells Rand he's come to look at her buffer. We keep expecting bad jazz music to start up...

Picard: Sorry Will, it's not my fault you didn't take me seriously when I said that if you kept putting the weight on we'd have to transfer you to a ship with wider doors.

 

[The Underscore]

Psst. Admiral. How's the diarrhea?

Picard: "All these years, I never knew what Troi saw in him..."

 

[Candlelight]

Picard: "Will... all that love triangle bullshit in the final season of the show got me confused again... did you just marry Deanna or Worf? Will...?"

 

[BriGuy]

Decker: You are assuming command?

Why? Why can't you let go?

Do you have something against The Next Generation?

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Will... Will! Don't be so upset. It was just a practical joke. We all thought you'd know by now that you're never really getting your own ship. So just stop crying and get your ass back out on that bridge.

 

[Captain Zog]

Decker: "Sure, my Dad was a loony who got his entire crew killed and nearly did the same to the Enterprise and its crew, but I'm not even half as daft. The maddest thing I'd ever do is allow myself to be joined physically and spiritually to a bizarre, immense planet-destroying entity because of my ridiculously overblown romantic obsession with some weird bald chick I dated a few years ago."

Picard: "There goes the finest first officer Starfleet's ever had. Nice ass too."

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Will.... babe... I hate to see you go, but... I love to watch you leave.