Movie Caption Contest #175: Shenanigans

[Rat Boy]

Slappy nude beer! Time to get things back to normal, so let's start off with...

Since this contest went all over the place, I'll just name the winners in chronological order:

Kirk: *sniff sniff* "What smells like blue?"

Kirk: "First...I....Was A..Fraid!"

Sulu: "I was Petrified... (Sees Navy Sailor) Hellooo!"

Kirk 1 (to Kirk 2): "Kept...Thinking! I would neeever!! live with...
Kirk 2 (to Kirk 1): "...out you! by..my! side?"

Kirk: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

[comic beat]

Kirk: You missed a spot.

Spock: I wouldn't make that gesture if I were you, I'm pretty sure that the TrekBBS is never gonna let you live it down.

MCCOY: What the...? This isn't Studio 54!!! I was promised hookers and blow!

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we have Kirk getting upset over being upstaged and Data makes a new friend. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (whispering): "Wanna take bets he's going to wimp out and ask for my help?"

*Chekov and Scotty hold up twenties*

Geordi: "Tasha wasn't kidding when she said you were fully functional."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk, to former crewmen: Best strained smiles, everyone....Scotty, you look gassy.
Scotty: It's those onions they served in the galley, sir...

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the win Rat Boy.

Shatner: You're standing in my shot asshat!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Harriman: "Oh, the Enterprise-B is a marvelous ship! Of course, she can't hold a candle to that awesome Ferrari we had in 'Ferris Bueller'!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Data: Oh my god! It's Secretariat!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Harriman: "... and in the event of an emergency, we are all to hide behind Mr Scott."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Female Reporter: Could you repeat that, Captain Harriman? We can't hear you over the awesomeness that is Captain James T. Kirk.

Data: Whose your daddy?
Geordi: You're just another torpedo fucker.

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[SeerSGB]

Reporter: What about the "curse" of the Enterprise, Capt. Harriman?
Harriman: Curse?
Reporter: Yeah, that any captain of the Enterprise other than James Kirk ended up dead and with him in charge of their ship.
Harriman: Just a story

Chekov: 20 says he's dead before we leave drydock
Scotty: I've got 50 that says ole' Jim here don't have the stones to do it.
Kirk: Gentleman, remember we're officers...but yeah, that's fuckers going down faster than Carol at a frat party.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Harriman: Ladies and Gentlemen, we just cleared the-

Enterprise hit by asteroid

Harriman: We just cleared-

Enterprise hit by asteroid again

Demora: Now Sir.

Harriman: We just cleared the Asteroid belt.

La Forge: Whoa, there's some serious technobabble in this thing.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Dance to the beat, wave your hands together
Come feel the heat forever and forever
Listen and learn, it is time for prancing
Now we're here, with Caramell Dancing!

(I dare somebody to make a GIF of that. I would... but I can't afford a $300 animated image maker thingymajigger)

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harriman: "The generic funny caption comment? That won't be here until Tuesday."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Chief O'Brien has introduced me to a new hobby, Geordi! He is teaching me how to pole and lap dance!"
Geordi (distractedly): "That's nice, Data. Wait...what did you just say?!"

 

[Maurice]

REPORTER 1: My scanner detects a lame-ass script.
REPORTER 2: Mine, too!
REPORTER 3: Sonofagun...me, too!

 

[Nerys Myk]

REPORTER 1: What was it like working with Matthew Broderick?

REPORTER 2: Do you keep in contact with Michael J Fox?

SHATNER: Hey! Bill Shatner standing right here!!!!

 

[LeadHead]

Harriman: Why yes, I am single.

Kirk: No surprise there.

La Forge: If you do Jazz hands again Data, I swear to god...

Data: Okay! Okay!

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Directing an imaginary orchestra playing the Jeopardy theme isn't helping, Data.

 

[Anticitizen]

Kirk: I am proud to receive this Starfleet lifetime award for meritorious serv-

Harriman, interrupting: YO KIRK. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT CAPTAIN PIKE WAS ONE OF THE BEST STARFLEET CAPTAINS OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!!!!

 

[Vassa]

Geordi: "VRROOOM VRROOM" isn't helping, Data!