Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning...

[Rat Boy]

Let's end the torture right now and move on to a new caption contest. First, let's "honor..."

Looks like I wasn't the only one who thought the dress uniforms looked like waiter jackets...

"For our specials tonight, we have lobster remoulade en tarte crouté, lamb chops in a delicious au frisson gelée, and a nice veal tartare in a delicate glaze Romanesque. Anything strike your fancy?"

And even after two hundred plus years they still haven't ironed out the kinks...

Janeway: Great. My first time on Chatroulette and the first thing I see are Kirk's balls.

Oddly enough, that was the least disgusting caption by our winner. And here we see how to settle disputes like proper gentlemen...

Data: "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."

Oh, sure, it's the villain who's the tolerant one...

Shinzon: Now Captain, that's just offensive. B-4 is not 'retarded,' he's 'mentally challenged.' Let's try and be politically correct here.

And I really don't want to know what it was doing down there in the first place...

PICARD: Why is that scanner showing male genitalia?

WORF: Sorry, sir. I had the sensor in my waistband.

For some reason I'm reminded of those twits who have their windshield wipers and hazard lights flashing because they're too stupid to figure out how a friggin' car works...

Picard: Yes, Mister Worf, you remember how to fire the Phasers. Commander Riker's joke was stupid. Now would you kindly SHOOT AT THE ENEMY??!!

As if the mental imagery was bad enough, then we come to this Photoshop...

Patrick Stewart: "Thats it, i'm finished with this franchise!"

And I just couldn't let this one go. It's like Pilot from Farscape had babies with the Shadows from Babylon 5...

Even in the 24th century, trolls still exist.

Congratulations to the winners. I'm changing things up going forward; from now one, we'll be doing it one movie at a time in chronological order. If you're sick of it in ten weeks, we'll try something different. Anyway, enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Spock: "Wait! That doesn't go with my outfit!"

Kirk: "What happened to your beard?"

Vreenak (off camera): "IT'S A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

Kirk (off camera): "Never seen a caption contest before, Lieutenant?"

McCoy: "Really? You couldn't just hold it for a little while longer?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Priestess: With this amulet, I thee wed.
Spock: Wait, what?

McCoy: Say, Jim, how's about we leave this savin'-the-Earth business to somebody younger for a change, and go get a drink? I'm in the mood for a little Tennessee whiskey.
Kirk: Damn it, Bones --
..that's a good idea, actually. This jumpsuit is KILLING me.

Ilia, thinking: My oath of celibacy is on record. My oath of celibacy is on record. My oath of celibacy is on record.

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Thanks for the win!

Spock: Can't I get some pancakes instead?

Kirk: I don't think I like this set up for the Science Station, Decker is constantly looking over my shoulder.

McCoy: I'm sorry, does this help?

Kirk: If this is an energy cloud of a massive level, shouldn't we be Very Careful about where we're flying?

Spock: Yes, Captain.

Kirk: Ilia! Don't take your hands off your station!

Spock: You and Decker have to start to get along now Captain.

Kirk: Really?

Spock: We have reached that point in the movie. Start being nicer to him so we'll care when he "goes missing."

Kirk: DAMN!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

SPOCK: I aint wearing that ugly thing! Your kid make it at summer camp or something?

MCCOY: You know Jim, if you still need me "badly" I got an empty bed in sickbay we could use.

ILIA: I think I left the water running in my apartment in San Francisco. Ah well, it can wait till I get back.

KIRK: Are those two lirpas in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Spock: Spock ain't down with the costume jewels. Spock only wear shit from Tiffany's.

McCoy: You're pushing it. Your people know their jobs.
Kirk: Um...it's called micromanaging, and I'll do it if I want to.

Illa decided to show V'Ger her "O" face. And, thus, she was selected to be its probe.

Kirk: Ah...Bourbon and beans...an explosive combination.
Spock: Need I remind you, sir, that's four movies away still.

 

[Maurice]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

McCoy: You're pushing it. Your people know there jobs.

Tell me you didn't just use "there" there.

SPOCK: You call that shit, bling, woman?

BONES: Nice "Kirk light" Jim.
KIRK: Thanks. Can you believe Decker said this ship wasn't ready?

If only Persis could tell us what Robert Wise was doing to get this reaction.

KIRK: Mmmmmmph...ahhh...
SPOCK: Really, Captain, you must learn to govern your passions. They will be your undoing.
BONES: We see what he's "undoing" Spock!

 

[DarylCarpenter]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

"Robert Wise naked on a cold day. Robert Wise naked on a cold day. Robert wise naked on a cold day..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Even Ilia was bowled over by the latest Rush concert.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

McCoy: You're pushing it. Your people know there jobs.

Tell me you didn't just use "there" there.

Never caption contest before coffee. That's the lesson learned here, folks.

 

[Aragorn]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

"If you want me to give this to you Spock, you have to flash me. Those are the rules."

MCCOY: "Sorry, Jim, but I'm not really digging the sound of how awesome you are."

A young Jeanie Picard ponders what her career path would be like after gender reassignment surgery.

Spock forgot to wear pants that day, and Decker knew that Kirk would eventually cave in and stare.

 

[T'Girl]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Sulu realized to his horror that he accidently put the video of himself dancing naked on the main viewscreen.

Ilia: "Oh my."

 

[Gepard]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

And even in the Director's Edition, the Wookie still doesn't get a medal.

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Kirk: "Suddenly, I have the urge to..."

McCoy: "Oh no."

Decker: "What is it, Doctor?"

McCoy: "Disco fever!"

 

[SPCTRE]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Looking at a phallus-shaped twelfth-power energy field made Lt. Ilia question her vow for the first time.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

My entries:

Vulcan Woman: And I deem thee, Freddie Mercury, to be the King of Rock.
Spock/Mercury: Awesome. Now give me five up-top.

McCoy: Ahem, Jim? You forgot to wear pants to the bridge again.

Ilia : Is it me or does V'Ger look like a giant space sphincter?

McCoy: So, you're telling me that in 30 years one of us will be a priest, one of us will be a senile lawyer/a cantankerous father, one of us will be dead and the last one will still be doing Star Trek?

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Vulcan Master: I predict that you will die in the Mutara Nebula.

Spock: Stop. Now I know you're a crock, The Mutara Nebula is the happiest place near Regula One!

Kirk: Well Bones, do the new Medical Facilities meet with your approval?

McCoy: They do not, it's like working in a Damned Computer Center.

Decker: Uhhhh... Doctor, you do know there's a computer center right next door to sickbay right?

McCoy: That explains why the main bio bed was labeled: "Motherboard."

Ilia: Wow! That probe coming towards us looks cool! I have a great feeling about it.

Spock: V'Ger is a child. I suggest you treat it as such.

Kirk: Hail, Hail, Fire and Snow, Call the Angel-

Spock: I said treat it as such not act like one.

 

[Kirby]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

New Orleans' Mardi Gras had nothing on Vulcan's Kohlinar festival... Where chicks gave dudes necklaces to put more clothes on.

McCoy: Gold chains, open collars, disco dancing, doing blow off a hooker's chest. I tell you Jim retirement was everything I could have wanted.

Thre real reason Decker was replaced: Before the Enterprise could take on V'Ger, he insisted that the crew complete level 10 of Where's Waldo? on the main viewscreen.

Kirk had to pause and relish in that comfortable, familiar feel of command on again... and of course the assless chaps.

 

[T'Girl]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

With a briliant flash, spark fly from the control panel.

Kirk: "Were we hit?"

Decker: "No. It's just Ilia drooling on her panel."

Kirk: "Focus !" slaps Ilia on the back of the head.

.

 

[Mistral]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #159: The Caption Contest Is Just Beginning.

Ilia had assumed the required position and merely awaited the arrival of her superior officer.