Movie Caption Contest #158: Blu-Ray Blues - Nemesis

[Rat Boy]

Running behind, running behind, so let's kick this new caption contest off by honoring...

For demonstrating that the mountain is his lover (and a very fickle one at that), our winner is...

Kirk: Captain Kirk is falling off a moutain. Why is he falling off a moutain? He wants to make LOVE to the mountain.

Well, as far as our next winner goes, I certainly wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition. *JARRING CHORD*

Thanks to cloaking technology, you never really did expect the Spanish Inquisition.

And when you gotta go, you gotta go...

Picard: "Worf, did you just ass-rape that tree stump over there-"
Worf: "AGGRESSIVE SEXUAL TENDANCIES, SIR"

And now our fantastic photoshop winner...

Worf: "What is this Galactus you speak of?"

Congratulations to the winners. Hard to believe it's been over a year since these Blu-Ray contests got started, but here we are at the end. There's too many pics for me to describe, but here you are and have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Duty..."

Wesley: "He said 'doody.'"

Everyone: "SHUT UP, WESLEY!"

Janeway: "Does this admiral's uniform make me look fat?"

Picard: "Computer, initiate auto destruct sequence!"

Shinzon: "Are you surprised I'm willing to cut my own hand?"

Picard: "No, I'm surprise that you don't look at thing like me."

Hardy: "My agent just called; I actually have a career now! See you!"

*leaves*

Picard: "She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!"

Crusher: "It's about Will, Jean-Luc."

Riker: "I'm right here."

Crusher: "I don't think he's fit for a command."

Riker: "Still right here."

Picard: "You know, you're right. Let's make him stay here another fifteen years to season him."

Riker: "I'm going to hit you over the head with this chair; see if you notice me then."

Rush's rendition of "Tom Sawyer" during its 2379 tour was awesome.

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: ...As Best Man...

Wesley: Captain Picard's the Best Man, How did that happen Mom?

Crusher: Last minute replacement, it wasn't until 20 minutes ago they realized it would be bad if both the Groom and Best Man had slept with the Bride.

Janeway: Jean-Luc, how would you like a trip to Romulus?

Picard: Actually, I was thinking about getting Promoted, turns out I'm getting your job next week. Picard out.

Shinzon: I believe you'll be wanting this.

Worf: Just stab him with it Data, please to save us all the trouble.

Shinzon: Once we found it, we had to make some improvements, even though it still looks exactly the same as Data, giving an infiltrator an easy way aboard my Master Flagship. But we're not worried about that at all.

Picard: What does this do?

Picard Screams

Data: Pilot Waste Extraction, Sir.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need you to settle this. One of the stories he told while on The NewlyWed game with Deanna was actually something that happened wih me when he was Odan. I think I should get the free trip to Risa instead of them.

Picard: Am I invited?

Crusher: Yes.

Picard: I'm afraid my hands are tied Number One.

Picard: Yes, Mister Worf, you remember how to fire the Phasers. Commander Riker's joke was stupid. Now would you kindly SHOOT AT THE ENEMY??!!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: And so, in the best of maritime tradition, I'd like to wish my good friend Will and --
...what was your name again, dear? Deena?
Troi: DEANNA.
Picard: Deanna! ...right!...
(Overlengthy pause)
Picard: ...what was I just saying?

Shinzon's first attempt at proving his superiority over Picard consisted of comparing the success of their manicures. Data, a discerning judge, confirmed that Shinzon's cuticles were indeed smoother than an android's bottom.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Will, I want you to know how happy we all are that after so many years of sampling the milk, you've finally decided to buy the cow!"

Picard: "Pong 3-D." *snort* "Sucks compared to the original!"

Phaser Crew #1: "Phaser Crew 2! What the hell, man!"
Phaser Crew #2: "But you said to fire on my 12 o'clock position!"
Phaser Crew #1: "Earth clock, moron! Earth clock!"

 

[bullethead]

Even in the 24th century, trolls still exist.

What was surprising about the destruction of the Enterprise E wasn't that it was destroyed in battle, but the fact that Deanna Troi was at the helm for a second time.

 

[Rat Boy]

Illusive Man: "But...one little radiation pulse and the whole thing could have been ours!"

Shepard: "Uh...it was Miranda's fault! Yeah, it was totally her, dude."

 

[LeadHead]

Illusive Man: "But...one little radiation pulse and the whole thing could have been ours!"

Shepard: "Uh...it was Miranda's fault! Yeah, it was totally her, dude."

Shepard: Strange, it's like she started giving me bad advice once I started dating Tali...

 

[Skywalker]

Dark Helmet: "Careful, you idiot! I said to fire a warning shot across their nose, not up it!"

***

Admiral Janeway: "Jean-Luc. How'd you like a trip to Romu--"

Harbinger: "DIRECT INTERVENTION IS NECESSARY. YOU HAVE FAILED. WE WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY."

 

[Rat Boy]

Illusive Man: "But...one little radiation pulse and the whole thing could have been ours!"

Shepard: "Uh...it was Miranda's fault! Yeah, it was totally her, dude."

Shepard: Strange, it's like she started giving me bad advice once I started dating Tali...

Shepard: "Then she got really pissy when I hooked up with Liara in the new DLC mission."

 

[Skywalker]

Illusive Man: "But...one little radiation pulse and the whole thing could have been ours!"

Shepard: "Uh...it was Miranda's fault! Yeah, it was totally her, dude."

Shepard: Strange, it's like she started giving me bad advice once I started dating Tali...

Shepard: "Then she got really pissy when I hooked up with Liara in the new DLC mission."

Shepard: "And I thought that was bad enough, but then Ashley found out about it, too. I'd better apologize and beg her to take me back, or I'm going to need another Lazarus Project makeover pretty soon."

 

[Captain Crow]

[Shinzon farts]

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Stop the wedding!!!!! Clone-Android unions are un-natural!!!!!

SHINZON: Can I keep the ring?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "It's no good, I can't maneuver!"
Data: "Stay on target."
Picard: "We're too close!"
Data: "Stay on target!"
Picard: "Loosen up!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Baird: "Cut! Patrick, you're using your middle finger; it looks like you're giving the audience the bird."

Stewart: "That's what you've been doing this whole fucking movie."

Picard: "The fog's too thick. Turn on the high beams!"

 

[Candlelight]

KITT: Would you permit me to activate the turbo boost?"

Picard: "The what??"

Seconds after the Enterprise E scored a goal.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: ... and then I shoved my hand up the cow's ass Numbah One.

 

[Aragorn]

"...and since my show ran for seven years too, that means we were just as successful and popular as you guys, right Patrick? ... Patrick? ... Are you still there?"

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: The Hangar doors are sealed and covered by forcefields. We cannot escape that way. Well then, we'll go through to corridors until we get to the observation room where we met Shinzon. We'll go out the window.

Data: Captain, does it not seem strange that your cell, the launch bay and the observation room are all on the same deck?

Picard: Not really, the Bridge, Engineering and Best Buy are on this Deck too.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: Let give you some advice Numbah Wone. If your Ho' gets uppity then a good swift pimp slap in the mouth will put the bitch in her place.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, we need to talk to your erectile problem.

Riker: Yeah! Quit popin' wood on the bridge every five seconds.