Movie Caption Contest #156: Let's Do The Time Warp Again

[Rat Boy]

Out with the old contest and in with the new, so I'll get right to it. First, let's lecture...

Considering the number of posts on the first picture, I'll hold off on handing out awards until the end. As for the second, our winner demonstrates that not every room needs a fancy status board...

Styles felt it was important to inform the crew of the status level of each bowl movement.

And for obscure American political pot-shots, our winner is...

PICARD: Imagine what it was like, Will...no engines...no computers...

Just the wind and sea...and the stars to guide you.

RIKER: Scurvy. Women with no teeth and chin hair.


Millard Fillmore.

Now we come to the pic that launched a hundred posts. Let's break it down like this. First, for a regular caption, our winner is...

Sulu: Uh-oh, it's Admiral Morrow, he's always so many steps behind the times.

Morrow: Welcome back Admiral Kirk. I was saddened to hear of the losses you took on your mission.

Kirk: Thank you Sir.

Morrow:Will there be memorial services for Captain Decker and Lieutenant Ilia?

Obviously, this picture started a running gag, but since I started said gag, I can't very well give myself a win, now can I? Anyway, here are the best "20 Year Old" jokes of the bunch...

MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is 20 years old!

KIRK: So, she's legal, then?

MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is 20 years old!

KIRK: What?

MORROW: What I meant to say was the new Captain of the Enterprise is twenty years old.

NUKIRK: (O.C.) Buckle up!

MORROW: Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old.

KIRK: But she's the only ship in the quadrant. If you decomissioned her, there would be no ships.

MORROW: Fuck, another technacality.

And then we had another running gag. Let's honor the one who kicked it off followed by the best implementations...

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: It was Old Enemies Steal Starships Week, The M-5 Attacked me using the Potempkin, Vaal used the Lexington, the Space Hippies stole the Ticonderoga...

Morrow: How did you deal with them?

Kirk: Installed Windows Vista on the M-5, but I'm especially proud of how we dealt with the others. We fed the Space Hippies to Vaal. Talk about food poisoning...

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "I dunno, I don't read Trek Lit."

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "We hit a bump. What was it called again, Mr. Sulu?"

Sulu: "Antares."

Morrow: Jim, the Enterprise has hull breaches all over the place, actually more since the Battle with Khan. What happened?

Kirk: "It's really not as bad as it looks. Scotty said most of it should just buff out."

Congratulations to the winners. First up this week, Kirk and Spock discover the dark side of MUNI. Next, Good Ol' Bob provides much needed plot exposition and annoyance. Lastly, I'm sure you guys can think of a good explanation for the expression on Troi's face. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "That's the L Taravel. We want the N Judah."

Kirk: "How the hell am I supposed to know the difference? We only had two roads in Riverside."

Gillian: "I'm worried. Renting a 747, planting radio tags, that stuff could break our budget."

Bob: "Don't worry, I've got it covered. Ran into some generous Swedish sailors who offered us a lot of money for where we're dropping the whales off. What could go wrong?"

Riker: "You do know you weren't supposed to swallow the worm, right?"

Troi: "Uh oh."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the partial. I like the running gags the best!

Spock: "What does it mean, 'wax on, wax off'?"

Kirk: "I dunno, but I reckon you should nerve pinch the next wiseguy who says it to you."

Bob: "You're telling me that people from the future have come back in time to save the whales? Shit Gillian! What have you been smoking?"
Gillian: "What worries me is the fat Scottish guy who keeps asking me if whalemeat tastes like haggis..."

Troi: "Son of a BITCH!"
Riker: "What is it?"
Troi: "No wonder he's been smirking all the time since he got that emotion chip."
Riker: "Data? What, what the..."
Troi: "I just realised that his dick is Bluetooth enabled!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Why did the driver let us off on Castro St?

BOB: Yeah, if Gillian disappeared tomorrow I'd bet no one would notice.

GILLIAN: Standing right here.

BOB: You seen her today?

RIKER: Did you know the name "M. Scott" was sewn into the lining of this jacket you gave me? Fits like a glove.

TROI: Uh..no, no I didn't.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Oh, geez, I must be drunk! That's a chick dancing up there! Will, go get my dollar back from her!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Jim, the Enterprise is..."

Kirk: "Oh for God's sakes, not you too!"

Spock: "...in Alameda. The Enterprise is in Alameda. Getting a lot testier in your old age, aren't you?"

 

[Maurice]

Spock: "That's the L Taravel. We want the N Judah."

Kirk: "How the hell am I supposed to know the difference? We only had two roads in Riverside."

Local: The L and N are light rail, not busses, dumbass!
Spock: Well, double-dumbass on--
Kirk: Let it go, Spock.

Bob: Kinda pouty, aren't they?
Gillian: Okay, okay, I'll start wearing a bra!

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the Wins!

Spock: Fascinating, it appears that in San Francisco, saying "Lets go to Oakland," and "Lets go Oakland" have phenomenally different meanings.

Bob: It's never been proven that their intelligence-

Gillian: So you're leaving with the whales too?

Troi: I'm just trying to blend in.

Riker: Being a hot woman in a bar full of old men. Great plan.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: Fascinating, it appears that in San Francisco, saying "Lets go to Oakland," and "Lets go Oakland" have phenomenally different meanings.

Kirk: "I told you we should have picked someplace else to rehearse our cheers for Moneyball."

 

[Hedbergian]

Spock: What does it mean GTFO?

 

[Hedbergian]

Bob: You know what's amazing? Right now, somewhere ... the 40-Year-Old Virgin is 20. ... God that's depressing ... and funny.

Riker: You know what's amazing? Right now, somewhere ...someone's getting laid in this hotel. And it sure as sh&t isn't me!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Bob: "So, your latest heartthrob claims he's a spaceship captain from the future sent here to take George and Gracie time-travelling, eh? Jesus Christ, Gillian, where do you keep finding these guys?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: For some reason, in this time period Saucelito is Monterey.

 

[DGCatAniSiri]

Bob: "So, your latest heartthrob claims he's a spaceship captain from the future sent here to take George and Gracie time-travelling, eh? Jesus Christ, Gillian, where do you keep finding these guys?"

Gillian: I know, I know. Maybe my mother was right and I should just marry a reverend.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: What was Eddie Murphy so pissed about?

 

[Candlelight]

Sod it. Candlelight is taking time out from raising twins and moving buildings to do what I enjoy!

And now that I've flushed I'm gonna do some captioning.

Kirk: "It's amazing how that head band protects your alien heritage."

Spock: "I knew a man once who had a penis in his forehead. Good thing he didn't come on this mission."

Kirk: "Where the fuck did that come from???????????"

Bob: "You ever wonder-"

Gillian: "Not interested, Bob."

Bob: "No, what Gracie would be like between two slices of bread"

Gillian: "??"

Troi: "I'm just trying to blend in."

Riker: "This isn't a bar full of fembots, councillor"

 

[Trekker4747]

Kirk: What? That bus smelled exactly like an Old Orion Slave Girl's vagina.

Spock: (under breath) You would know.

Bob: You know, I'm beginning to rethink that plan of having my Oceanologist PhDs running the tour groups. We may have been able to learn something about those whales their last day here.

Riker: No, don't you see, it'll be great! I just saw it on their internet; you go get Beverly, I'll go get the cup...

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the (shared) win!

Bob: "I know it will take a lot of charcoal-but its doable! We'll have the guys from the shark department over and that cute little gal in Tours and Reception-it'll be great!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Bob: "If whales are so smart, why aren't they human. I mean it makes sense. Human = smart. I'll accept maybe a bumpy forehead, or pointy ears, but your basic smart being is going to be human. How else can you shake hands. That's just civilisation."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "How was I supposed to know we needed to get on a Golden Gate Transit bus to get to Sausalito instead of MUNI? Still not as dumb as trying to take BART."

Bob: "I think your new friend left a surprise in the tank."

It took him a few hours to realize he was conversing with a mannequin.