Movie Caption Contest #151: Daddy Issues

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: You haven't experienced "TRULY TASTELESS JOKES" until you have read them in the original Klingon...

PICARD: I hope you love your doll!

DAUGHTER: Not really. But she'll do until mommy gets paid and can pick up her layaways.

KIRK: BUTLER?!

Butler...

How can you be here...you've been dead seven years...

and buried for the past two!

 

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: I must commend you on a splendid dinner spread, Captain Spock.

KIRK(off-screen):(*AHEM*) I was the one who arranged all this, Chancellor.

GORKON: Sensitive little cuss...isn't he?

SPOCK: You have NO idea.

 

[Candlelight]

"Butler! Now I get to accidentally run you over and eat you all over again!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Little did Kirk know that Butler had just gone walkies all over his service jacket.

 

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: Does she have a G-string?

I have Klingon currency to burn...but I don't see anywhere to put it.

 

[BriGuy]

Gorkon: So, tell me, Kirk, just how many quatloos would you pay for a night with my lovely daughter?

Thank you for the doll, but I wanted an iPhone 256.

If you thought The Final Frontier was bad, you should have seen Shatner's proposal for a Star Trek/Marmaduke cross-over.

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Jean-Luc... I know you want to convince me to return to the real world, but turning into a furry sex toy really won't do it."
Picard (off-camera): "I'm over here"
Kirk: "Did I say sex toy? I meant... er, ah hell with it."

 

[Candlelight]

Quick question; where is Shatmandu these days? I haven't seen him in a while. Or did he change his username?

 

[LeadHead]

^I was wondering that myself.

 

[Maurice]

GORKON: You haven't experienced wiper fluid until you've tasted it in the original Klingon. (points) And she's the original Klingon.
SPOCK: (spit take)

CHILD: This isn't your fantasy! It's Patrick Stewart's!
STEWART: No, my fantasy involves more Crisco than I see here.

KIRK: Astro! What is it?
ASTRO: Ruh roh!
KIRK: Elroy fell down a gravity well...again?

 

[Candlelight]

"Butler! Oh... you've killed the mailman again... honey! Get the shovel, we got another one to hide."

 

[Isis]

Little Girl: "Believing in Santa Claus was a stretch, but you cross the line, Spaceman--I don't care how good the present is."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Gorkon: So how will the federation fix our problem with Praxis?

Kirk: Well, on Earth we have this thing called duct tape...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "With all due respect, Chancellor. Perhaps the Klingon Empire oughtn't not to have given the Praxis mining contract to BP."

 

[Rat Boy]

Quick question; where is Shatmandu these days?

No idea. Perhaps he's knocking back tequila shots and swapping anus jokes with Outpost4 and Jimmy Hoffa.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Gorkon: You have not experienced a Dirty Sanchez until you've done it in the original Klingon.

 

[LeadHead]

Gorkon: I love what you've done with this room!

Spock: Yeah, there was a "Wall of Ships" over there but we took it out. Everybody was pretty happy about it. Well except for this one bald guy.

 

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: I thought Romulan ale was illegal in the Federation.

SPOCK: It is. And so is the sexual lubricant your daughter smuggled on board the Enterprise in her outfit.

 

[cooleddie74]

BUTLER: I said I WANTED some ham...not a master who ACTED like it!!!


Jeez...

 

[Candlelight]

Gorkon: "That reminds me of the time I accidentally had sex with my daughter here. Boy did you have tear ducts that day, honey."