Movie Caption Contest #151: Daddy Issues

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: Of course our blood is pink in color, Captain Spock...

at least until the budget calls for it to be RED again.

 

[cooleddie74]

Help control the actor population.

Have your Shatner spayed. (TM)

 

[Candlelight]

"Butler! You Klingon bastard... you shat in my petunias..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Warner: "This reminds me of the time Vanilla Ice and I got wasted on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2."

 

[SRFX]

"REAL HOLOGRAPHIC SIMULATED EVIL LINCOLN IS BAAAAAACK!!!"

 

[LeadHead]

Gorkon: I'd like to speak with one of your Federation Envoys, St. John Talbot. I sense that he and I have a lot in common.

 

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: Four wars and seven warnogs ago...our Empire brought forth in this quadrant a new Order...conceived in conquest...and dedicated to the proposition that all Earthers can be killed equally...

SPOCK: Poetic.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: KISS ME...

It...

It's been too long.


(*Romantic, sweeping music blares*)

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorkon: "This is very refreshing. What do you call it?"

Spock: "Windex."

Bitsy: "Thank you for the doll, Papa. Now I shant have to piss in your tea."

Kirk: "Butler!"

Picard: "Wait a minute, you didn't name him Bones?"

Kirk: "What? Look, I liked McCoy, but I didn't like him enough to name a pet after him."

*A meow comes from outside."

Picard: "Did you at least name your cat 'Spock.'"

Kirk: "No, the cat's Hikaru."

 

[cooleddie74]

GORKON: Am I to understand that this beverage comes in "Spearmint" and "Fruit" flavors as well?

SPOCK: AND will freshen your breaths for up to ten solar hours.

BITSY: Thank you for the doll, Papa.

She's almost as beautiful as the other lady you sleep with behind Mommy's back.

KIRK: What is it boy?

WHAT?

There's a Pakled...trapped in a dilithium mine?

Up near Zylkgorch Canyon?

LEAD THE WAY!!!

 

[Mistral]

Gorkon: "So Praxis exploding is what brought Cool Eddie back to the caption contests?"

Spock: "Well, it certainly wasn't your daughter's irresistible beauty."

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorkon: "So Praxis exploding is what brought Cool Eddie back to the caption contests?"

Spock: "Well, it certainly wasn't your daughter's irresistible beauty."

Gorkon: "Sadly, she has it backwards. She thinks if she gets really drunk, men will find her attractive."

 

[Alrik]

Gorkon: "Of course she swallows, she's doing so as we speak."

Spock: "That is not what I had...oh never mind."

Picard: "How did you ever settle on a great dane?"

Kirk: "He's big, and powerful, yet graceful. What? Did you think I'd go for something like a beagle?"

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Butler!"

Picard: "I thought his name was Jake?"

Kirk: "MY MOVIE! MY DOG!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Gorkon: "So Praxis exploding is what brought Cool Eddie back to the caption contests?"

Spock: "Well, it certainly wasn't your daughter's irresistible beauty."

Atezbur: "Sitting right here!"

Gorkon: "Sadly, she has it backwards. She thinks if she gets really drunk, men will find her attractive."

Azetbur: "Still sitting right here!!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorkon: "So Praxis exploding is what brought Cool Eddie back to the caption contests?"

Spock: "Well, it certainly wasn't your daughter's irresistible beauty."

Atezbur: "Sitting right here!"

Gorkon: "Sadly, she has it backwards. She thinks if she gets really drunk, men will find her attractive."

Azetbur: "Still sitting right here!!!!"

Gorkon: "Yes, and we're doing our damndest to ignore you, dear."

 

[LeadHead]

Gorkon: "So Praxis exploding is what brought Cool Eddie back to the caption contests?"

Spock: "Well, it certainly wasn't your daughter's irresistible beauty."

Atezbur: "Sitting right here!"

Gorkon: "Sadly, she has it backwards. She thinks if she gets really drunk, men will find her attractive."

Azetbur: "Still sitting right here!!!!"

Gorkon: "Yes, and we're doing our damndest to ignore you, dear."

Azetbur: That's it! If you die, I get named as Chancellor!

Gorkon: Fine, fine. (Whispers to Spock) Never gonna happen.

 

[Isis]

Gorkon: "Well, Spock, what do you think of Ali eliminating Ty on The Bachelorette?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What's that? Timmy fell down a well? Good. Little shit was starting to get annoying."

 

[LeadHead]

Shatner: What's that boy? "My doing this film will keep me from being a part of the reboot?"