Movie Caption Contest #143: Uh Oh!

[Rat Boy]

No need to run off, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's analyze the contributions of...

For proving that Sulu and Chekov aren't as interchangeable as one might think, our winner is...

"Stay away from me! I'm not a macho macho man!"

For fixing a plothole that one could drive a semi truck through, our winner is...

Kirk: Some one get down to sickbay and arrest Dr. Soren...now!
Scotty: What....you're dead, you were in the deflector control...
Chekov:...blown into space...
Harriman: How....
Kirk: I'm just that fucking awesome assholes..that and the nexus is a time rift allowing me to go forward and back in time as needed...what, you'd think I'd just pop out 2 minutes before the end, get my ass punked by a guest-star and die? Fuck that, this is my franchise bitches.

And for explaining why Picard needed to be told everything in exact detail, our winner is...

Picard: "What's that big orange ball, Data?"

Data: "That's a star, sir."

Picard: "And those two round things?"

Data: "We call those planets, sir. Were you paying any attention at all back at the Academy?"

And our Photoshop winner brings back memories of a game where you banged a blue chick that wasn't called Mass Effect...

Picard: "Okay, 5 more minutes, then I challenge you to a SuperMelee match!"
Data: "Dibs on the Spathi!"
Picard: "DAMN!"

Congratulations to the winners. First up this week, we have Kirk trying to pull off a field sobriety test without falling over onto his ass. Second, we have Picard trying to remember if he left the safety on. And finally, it's the triumphant return of Barney the Testicles. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I knew I shouldn't have gone back to Vixis' quarters."

Lily: "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Picard: *sigh* "No one ever gets that quote right."

Barney the Testicles: "Ow! What'd you do that for?"

Picard: "I thought they were made out of steel."

Barney the Testicles: "IT'S JUST A NICKNAME!"

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "I never actually called you guys 'Klingon bastards'... it's just a term of affection amongst my people... honest..."

Picard: "Calm down! Alright... I'll give you my autograph."

Barney the Testicles: "Tugging my penis! I'm gonna have to take that personally."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Klaa: "I'm going to kill you now, Kirk, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
*Kirk sticks finger in torpedo tube*
Klaa: "Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!"

Picard: "You can't kill all of us. If you shoot one of us, the other two will surely get you."
Lily: "The 'other two' took off running as soon as they saw this gun."

"Um...Picard...not only is your cow out of the barn, but it's also looking at my wife like she was a fresh bale of hay!"

 

[Candlelight]

Lily: "What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Picard: "What do you mean? An African or European swallow?"
Lily: "Huh? I... I don't know that. "
*phasers self*

 

[tharpdevenport]

After the failure of it's disturbing commercial, Pennsylvania decided to simply forego the commercial warning and hunt down tax cheats in person. Once again, though, they chose a poor method to accomplish the task...

"Don't come any closer!!! I keep pressing these buttons and they keep doing nothing, but I'm pretty damn sure one of these will fire your Buck Rogers death ray eventually."

Picard: "Actually ... that's the control device to my remote-controlled vibrating butt plug. Don't stop."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK:Honest, I didn't know she was married!

LILY: How do you work this remote? All I can get is some stupid Star Trek movie!

BARNEY'S MOLL: What I said was, I'd like a cockatoo.

 

[Aragorn]

Arizona's first day of enforcing senate bill 1070.

FANGIRL: "I'm gonna kill you where you stand!"
PATRICK STEWART: "I swear to you I'm not responsible for X-Men: The Last Stand! Zak Penn! Brett Ratner! The Fox executives! They're the ones you really want!"

WOMAN: "Sorry to break this to you, but it doesn't matter how much you work out -- not all of your body parts look youthful."

 

[bullethead]

William Shatner was surprised to find that Paramount had increased security to keep him from pestering them with his TFF remastering plans.

Nothing is more inconvenient than remembering that you forgot to set your DVR when someone is holding you at gunpoint.

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

 

[Rat Boy]

Barney the Testicles: "Watch where you point that knife! I don't want to have to change my name to Barney the Testicle!"

 

[Cyke101]

Kirk wasn't so fond of the new 4G Eye of Sauron...

The sound of someone getting phasered under the vent behind Picard didn't help his nerves.

Titled: Love at First Sight
When the old men unzipped their pants, Anna Nicole Smith had no chance.

 

[Candlelight]

"So JJ... I'm not good at reading between the lines but... this is still a 'no' right...?

"Fine.. there are twenty SIX decks... happy now?"

"Not a Tommy Gun- NOT A TOMMY GUN!"

 

[Candlelight]

 

[bullethead]

No one wanted to be near Kirk when he found out that his alternate universe counterpart was a massive douchebag.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard: "Thats not the gun I had in mind when I said Grab my gun"

Picard: "Mines Bigger"
BARNEY'S MOLL: "Shit dude..."
Blonde woman: "Ohh my!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

BARNEY'S MOLL: I really gotta shave my arms.

 

[Cyke101]

Kirkdalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Picard: No, no, don't shoot! I'll do what you ask! I'll lick the handrail!

Picard: Don't you think my artificial heart is a great conversation starter at parties?

 

[Vassa]

Picard: Okay! If you feel that strongly about it, I'll leave the vest behind!

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win! Woohoo!

Picard: "I understand you're scared but I'm going to have to ask you to put down my electric razor. It was a gift from Mummy."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Great. And I don't have a receipt for this shit either.

LILY: Either tell me who the fifth and sixth prime ministers of Canada were, or I START PUSHING BUTTONS!!!!

STASHY THE HAIRLIP: Hey, nice batch down there Dix!

PICARD: Thanks. Now you know why I'm named that.