Movie Caption Contest #119: Authority Figures

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "What you saw me doing with Ensign Fa'Tboy in the restroom? Classified."

 

[Candlelight]

Pike: "What you saw me doing with Ensign Fa'Tboy in the restroom? Classified."

Chekov: "No sir, I vouldn't zay anyzing about you und Enzign Rat Boy"

Pike: "Fa'Tboy!"

 

[Daneel]

PRESIDENT: "Quit pointing, dammit! Do you know how many 'pull my finger' jokes this picture is likely to get?!"

PIKE: "So you're seventeen years old and you've not only graduated from the Academy already but also been assigned to the flagship? Wow. Who'd you have to blow to get all that?"

CHEKOV: "I think his name vas... Stan. A fleet admiral, I believe."

 

[John Picard]

Pike: "Son, you'd better get to sickbay. The Rigellian Clap is a nasty little STD that will wreak havoc on your pecker."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CARTWRIGHT(pointing at map): And when I retire I'm opening up a Creole resturant right there.

PRRESIDENT: "Cartwright's Creole"? That sounds stupid.

CARTWRIGHT: I'll think of something

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

And look, another post about Rick Berman being an asshole...

 

[Candlelight]

"The Golden Gate Bridge...? Er, that way I think...?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Roth: "What's all the commotion?"

Cartwright: "Twilight fans, Mr. President."

Roth: "Send in the riot police. I don't care what their phasers are set at, just get them out of here!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Federation President Stubing: "Where's this new Pike/Fa'Tboy statue I've heard about?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PRESIDENT: Fastest way to the Castro?

 

[Candlelight]

"Right, onto lot #42 on today's auction, we've got a beautiful urn from the 9th Dynasty on Vulcan. So we'll begin at 500 bars at gold pressed latinum... 500500I'vegot500doIhear600600anyonewith600 - yesthankyoutheblackgentlemaninthebackstandingwithcolonelsanders-"
"FUCK YOU!"

 

[Bones2]

Cartwright: "Now look over there and do your best shocked face...oh come on, that's your best?"

Cartwright: "Look at that spider. The whale probe doesn't seem as scary now, does it?"

Four hours into a game of statues, and no one showed any signs of giving in.

Pike: "I said DON'T turn around. Lens flares like these can blind you from this distance."

 

[Candlelight]

"Now THAT is an anus"

Pike: "I am not a vanker. What the hell is a vanker anyway?"
Chekov: "You weally vanna know?"

 

[Skywalker]

Cartwright: "Speaking of probes, check out Cooleddie over there."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Cartright: "The mirror universe is that way, goatee boy."

Zerbe: "I can't believe that you signed up for this movie."
Abraham: "You were in The Red Hand Gang..."
Zerbe: "Touche."

Pike: "We're out of toilet paper, Ensign."
Chekov: "Theees eeess veee breeegee, Keptwin."

 

[scottydog]

Captain Stubing: "The world is upside-down. Sarah Palin is more popular than Barack Obama."

Cartwright: "Your head is upside-down. You have hair on the bottom of it instead of the top."

The English Patient: "On our planet we burn every infant's skin at birth. Surely you agree that my scarring is attractive."

Blurrybeard: "Where is this planet? I'm in the mood for babyback ribs."

Pike: "You remind me of another boy wonder who saved the ship every episode. His name is Wesley Crusher."

Chekov: "Is dis Vesley wery popular?"

Pike: "Unless you have a mother who's the ship's doctor and flirts with me, your ass is grass."

 

[26138]

Pike: Pavel, do you like movies about gladiators?

 

[Shatmandu]

Cartwright: "You think Kirk time-travelling is a great thing, huh? Look at the video he took of one of your female ancestors while he was there ..."

 

[BriGuy]

Pike: One day, Chekov, you'll start growing hair in funny places and thinking about girls.

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "Do all Russian women have that rotten-cabbage smell ... <nods> down there ..."