Movie Caption Contest #113: Schooled

[Candlelight]

William Shatner, still slightly disorientated due to his awesomeness, accidentally stumbles backwards onto the set of Return of the Jedi, causing an unprecidented world-wide fan-gasm.

"You all failed. Now, who wants to come back in time with me and kill Kennedy?"

 

[T'Girl]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #113: Schooled

Kirk: "Yes, I shagged Lt Saavik and I was *wonderful*."

Saavik: "And my ass still hurts, jerk!"

Kirk: ...there is a forth alien, plus that second black chick and the one arab guy way up in the nose bleed seats. Man are they in the wrong room!

 

[Candlelight]

Spock: "Have you ever experienced fear?"

Kirk: "I've got a question for you - have you ever had your face smothered by green boobies?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SAAVIK:"Everyone...quiet. SHUSH!

Don't mention the 'Kick Me' sign on his back...and maybe the Admiral won't ever notice."

"Excuse me?

CHEATING?!

Where I come from, we call what I did Dishonest-Americaning!! Be culturally sensitive...you pointy-eared Vulcan cockknocker."

 

[cooleddie74]

SHATNER:"This isn't the AIRPLANE 2 set?

Shit."

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Who ate Saavik?"

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "I'm just gonna pop down to Mackers, anyone want me bring back a big mac or nuggets or something?"

Crewmember will fall off the wagon in 3... 2... 1...

 

[Nerys Myk]

LT.TORTELLI: If you unclench your butt, that stick will fall out.

 

[Triskelion]

LT. SAAVIK: What are you laughing about?
LT.TORTELLI: The mission. The captain ordered an away team to investigate why a Starfleet pin was found in mugato scat.
LT. SAAVIK: So?
LT.TORTELLI: So, it's Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and...Ensign Woody.

 

[Rat Boy]

Lt. Tortelli: "And you thought Sam's hairpiece looked fake."

 

[Shatmandu]

Nichelle Nichols: "Now that she's here, that makes three women on this set who have pegged Danny DeVito."

 

[Rat Boy]

Rebbecca: "Which husband is that?"

Karla: "Bill. Whatever you do, ignore the girdle."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Company dismissed, except for the young lieutenant. I'm going to show her my Kobayashi Maru, enter her neutral zone, and violate her treaty.

 

[Tribble]

Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!
Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!
Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!
Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!
Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!
Denny Crane!
Donny Crane!

(Someone whispering off-screen) Is this going to end any time soon?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: Company dismissed, except for the young lieutenant. I'm going to show her my Kobayashi Maru, enter her neutral zone, and violate her treaty.

Saavik: "Oh, crips! You think I can stave him off with that 'only-once-every-seven-years' ploy?"

Uhura: "Worth a try. It beats the alternative."

Saavik: "Which is...?"

Uhura: "Closing your eyes and thinking of Vulcan."

 

[cooleddie74]

Where every academy commandant knows your name.

 

[cooleddie74]

"For the record, Commander, it wasn't cheating.

It was passing with STYLE."

 

[Rat Boy]

Mr. Cartmenez (off camera): "If you cheat and you lose, then you're a cheater! If you cheat and you win, then you're savvy!"

Kirk: "I like the way this guy thinks."

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Why is it when a girl bags lots of guys she's a slut but when a guy bags lots of girls he's a stud?"
Spock: "What has this got to do with your review?"
Kirk: "Hmm? Oh nothing, just trying to be philosophical. Or anything that'll take my mind of things. Saw some green pussy last night and I can't stop thinking about it"

 

[Candlelight]

After defeating Nero, Kirk went somewhere where he knew he wouldn't feel out of place.