Movie Caption Contest #106: Tender Loving Care

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ilia-probe: I shall now put on the Deltan pleather suit. Afterward, we shall commence the Golden Shower.
Dr. Chapel (off-camera): Now I know why they take an Oath of Celibacy! Yikes!
<Zahhhip>
Dr. Chapel: (cont'd) Dr. McCoy?!

 

[Candlelight]

Decker: "You know when I said 'stroke my head' I didn't mean the one on my shoulders"

TrekBBS: Congratulations, that vulgar comment is the one millionth so far in the history of caption contests.

 

[Shatmandu]

Ilia-Probe: "This Unit remembers how you liked to have your testicles yanked on during the reproductive process."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ilia-Probe: V'Ger wishes to give all carbon-units nine-inch poopchutes.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "God, why am I watching this? Jim would've either talked this bitch to death or fucked her or both an hour ago. No wonder Decker's not captain anymore."

 

[LeadHead]

Decker: I love you.
Ilia: I love you.
Decker: I love you.
Ilia: I love you.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh dear, she's stuck in a feedback loop and he's an idiot!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ilia-probe: Number 5 is alive!

 

[LeadHead]

Anij: Why haven't there been any posts of us in over a page?
Picard: The posters tried to a photoshop on our picture but the glare from my head ruined them.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Wanna dock the pink starship?
Anij: I heard it's more like a shuttlepod.

 

[Candlelight]

Troi suddenly remembered when she saw The Fountain starring Hugh Jackman at the cinema and couldn't believe how bad it was.

 

[Shatmandu]

Anij: "How did Khan recognize Chekov?"

 

[LeadHead]

Anij: Who won the world series?
Picard: What year?
Anij: Since I've been here.
Picard: Lets see in 2075 it was the A's.
Anij: Called it.
Picard: In 2076 it was the Giants.
Anij: Called it.
Picard: Then it was The Robots, The Robots, The Robots, The Robots...

 

[Shatmandu]

Decker: "I love you, Roll-On Head."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Captain's Log, Stardate 52436.5. I have successfully rendezvoused with the Ba'ku known as Anij. So far, all attempts at persuading her to engage in intercourse have been in vain. I am therefore forced to resort to an aphrodisiac provided by Dr. Crusher..."

"I can hear every word you're saying."

 

[Triskelion]

Anij: I'm 300. I don't have time to play "guess my std" with a French space man.

Ilia probe: Syphilis?
Decker: Not even close.

Troi: Reman Root Rot?
Shinzon: Bingo.

 

[Alrik]

Decker: "You know when I said 'stroke my head' I didn't mean the one on my shoulders"

TrekBBS: Congratulations, that vulgar comment is the one millionth so far in the history of caption contests.

Does that mean I came up 7 pages short? Bummer.

Sweet! Thanks for the win Rat Boy!

Decker: "Um, sweetie. When I asked you to caress my head, I had something else in mind."

 

[Candlelight]

Decker: "You know when I said 'stroke my head' I didn't mean the one on my shoulders"

TrekBBS: Congratulations, that vulgar comment is the one millionth so far in the history of caption contests.

Does that mean I came up 7 pages short? Bummer.

Sweet! Thanks for the win Rat Boy!

Decker: "Um, sweetie. When I asked you to caress my head, I had something else in mind."

Ha! Snap.

 

[T'Girl]

Ilia-probe: Number 5 is alive!

Decker: Number 6 from BSG is also still alive, and a hell of a lot more woman than YOU !

 

[T'Girl]

You mean all you got is four inches? Reaching orgasm is going to take me bloody forever.