Most outrageous thing you ever claimed on your expenses?
- Thread starter Holdfast
- Start date
At least, not according to your CV, right?
I've actually stopped claiming my excess mileage travel expenses the past month or two because they're being a bunch of wankers about some previous claims. I'll get them another way....
I am in the "I would never get away with it" category. I mean it's a university and after the recent money scandal in which a couple of employees were sent to prison for frivolous purchases with university credit cards the system has become even more tighter.
A number of years ago I ran a nearly $2,300 bar tab through for a large group of us. It helped that the expense approver was there and she told me how to code it so it would get approved.
Most recently, I've used either the "approved distance" or the actual miles when claiming mileage - whichever came out in my favor. When buying lunch for groups that was being brought into offices, I've been known to inflate the number of participants so that we cold have a nicer lunch while still staying in the company guidelines of cost/person. Bought spouses dinners and called them employees.
Nothing major really, just working the system.
Now, however, all my expenses fall into the "unreimbursed business expenses" category so a whole new level of system gaming has opened up.
Most recently, I've used either the "approved distance" or the actual miles when claiming mileage - whichever came out in my favor. When buying lunch for groups that was being brought into offices, I've been known to inflate the number of participants so that we cold have a nicer lunch while still staying in the company guidelines of cost/person. Bought spouses dinners and called them employees.
Nothing major really, just working the system.
Now, however, all my expenses fall into the "unreimbursed business expenses" category so a whole new level of system gaming has opened up.
I've done that a few times. I've even got paid porn thanks to it. But the worst was managing a bar and night club... I tended to sign off quite a lot of party drinks. No one cared, no one stopped me.
Lets see, every family vacation I take I always make sure I schedule at least one business meeting for a few hours where ever I am going. Then there was the other night where I took my subs (contractors, not the other type) out to see the new Trek film. Oh and my business absolutely needed that D-SLR. I have never filed a fraudulent expense, but I sure as hell will take them to the border of reality as regulated by the IRS.
I noticed somebody over there claimed "moat cleaning" as an expense.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
It was an actual moat. "We" don't really have them, no. Tory MPs do, though.
I noticed somebody over there claimed "moat cleaning" as an expense.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
Gotta keep the working class out somehow.
I noticed somebody over there claimed "moat cleaning" as an expense.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
It was more of a moderate-sized burn around the property, really, but yes, it was classed as moat on the receipt.
This is why I love you.
It's an art-form worthy of the Turner Prize.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days or do you people still have moats over there?
It was an actual moat. "We" don't really have them, no. Tory MPs do, though.
That's why we need MORE of them. That's a PROPER expenses claim, not the bourgeois plasma screens, kitkats & hobnobs, and Habitat furniture bollocks from the government benches. Lame. Moats & Helipads, that's what a decent MP has at home.
Nothing outrageous, unfortunately. I should be so lucky. I've inflated travel expenses on occasion, hardly worth mentioning really. If only they threw in lunch!
TheWifeOfBrian
Lieutenant Commander
One of those Fighting Fish and a small tank to put it in. Bastard (his name) sits on my desk at work and entertains me and passing coworkers.
I took a short trip to the NYC office and saw one on the OverBoss's desk and decided I wanted one too. I submitted my expense report with receipts:
Breakfast
Umbrella
Fish (blue)
Tank
Filter
Gravel (green)
Plant
Lunch
Replacement Umbrella
Soda
Cookies
Soda
Exotic Stuff On A Stick
Dinner @ Expensivio's Bistro
Thruway "Burger"
...that was two years ago, no one said anything and the expenses cleared accounting no problem!
I took a short trip to the NYC office and saw one on the OverBoss's desk and decided I wanted one too. I submitted my expense report with receipts:
Breakfast
Umbrella
Fish (blue)
Tank
Filter
Gravel (green)
Plant
Lunch
Replacement Umbrella
Soda
Cookies
Soda
Exotic Stuff On A Stick
Dinner @ Expensivio's Bistro
Thruway "Burger"
...that was two years ago, no one said anything and the expenses cleared accounting no problem!
One of those Fighting Fish and a small tank to put it in. Bastard (his name) sits on my desk at work and entertains me and passing coworkers.
I took a short trip to the NYC office and saw one on the OverBoss's desk and decided I wanted one too. I submitted my expense report with receipts:
Breakfast
Umbrella
Fish (blue)
Tank
Filter
Gravel (green)
Plant
Lunch
Replacement Umbrella
Soda
Cookies
Soda
Exotic Stuff On A Stick
Dinner @ Expensivio's Bistro
Thruway "Burger"
...that was two years ago, no one said anything and the expenses cleared accounting no problem!
I believe this is what's termed a shit sandwich. Stick the crap between nice white slices and no-one will ever notice the dodgy claims in the middle until it's too late...