Most Attractive Female

[Guy Gardener]

She had the Doctor file them down?

I don't think that that's a oncer though.

B'Elanna probably had an appointment with a belt sander every month.

And you petty Hew-man Fee-males complain about shaving your legs.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I wish I had forehead ridges and also that I was half Klingon and also that I was on a starship in the Delta quadrant but you can keep the Tom Paris part of the deal.

 

[Guy Gardener]

But he has the Kathyryn Janeway seal of Approval.

There's a blue ribbon pinned on to all his boxer shorts now.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Yes well, she's a dog person but I am not.

 

[Guy Gardener]

So you're a pussy person?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Yes I am a card carrying member of the Catriarchy.

 

[Guy Gardener]

They'll make cards for anything.

Although, with that "bump" thing cellphones do where they trade contact details, business cards, et all, are for dinosaurs.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Even though I have never seen that or knew that it happened I understood what you were saying.

 

[Guy Gardener]

An electronic handshake, quite like a Starship's transponder.

People are Starships!

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

What if you stand too close to someone in a lift? And your pockets connect? Is there an accidental mating of cell phones?

 

[Guy Gardener]

It's called a "bump" so I assume that you have to make physical contact. Although after typing that, I recall a comedy movie where someone was screaming at an idiot "HEY! It's a bump not a thump, you'll break my cell phone you fucking nonce!"

so I imagine it's a weak radio signal that only extends for a couple inches.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I'm thinking someone is going to put a trojan in that app so it can d/l everything on your phone, not just the details you plugged in for trades.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Going to?

This feature is at least 5 years old.

4 years, 11 months and 29 days, identity thieves the world over creamed themselves en mass at the thought of the new worlds of opportunity now open to them.

There was an episode of Major Crimes recently, where a Burglar was using "Grinder" to figure out empty homes to steal from.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Those crims are welcome to blurry pics of my cat with his laser lens flare blurry eyes.

 

[Guy Gardener]

This "bump" technology is now fitted into credit cards.

You just wave your magic card near a traditional swipe machine and it subtracts funds from your bank account/creditcard account.

Do you remember Minority Report?

Technology is constantly scanning for eye prints and then trying to sell you shit as you're walking down the street, based on some public database defining who you are and how much money you have.

I asked a while back if the smart glass used in Minority Report was real or fake, since in the here and now it's actually real and commercially viable.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

You wave it?

I'm still in shock I don't have to sign when it's under thirty bucks. Minority Report, I enjoyed that. The Greenies should be rejoicing at the continual demise of paper but they are the first to squawk over big brother when there's any tech involved.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Just wave it.

A very week radio signal.

The TV advertising/Bus Shelter advertising I saw puts a cap on it at 70 bucks, which should stop anyone from emptying your bank account if they do get proximate access for a couple minutes.

Now for the Geek chorus: If this is the future... Where the fuck are my flying cars?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I never wanted those stupid cars.

 

[Guy Gardener]

But here's how it works.

We kill George and Elroy, then you and me, we go on a double date with Jane and Judy. Jane for you, Judy for me.

No swapsies or take backs.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

HAHA I've got the red head

And the older woman. WIN.