Monogamy, non-Monogamy, Polyamory

[JustKate]

^ Just to be clear, I didn't intend to imply that anybody here had been insulting - I haven't read the entire thread but I have read much of it, and thus far, I haven't noticed any of this. I was just pointing out that it does happen, in case anybody hadn't experienced such a thing. And it was a very odd experience, too.

And yeah, Bob is or at least was undoubtedly an asshole. No doubt about that!

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Yeah, I wasn't directing most of my post at you. Anybody can be an asshole, though, for sure.

 

[Pingfah]

Bob sounds more neurotic than anything. People who are comfortable in their own choices don't often feel the need to justify them at length when they have not been challenged, and disparage anybody who feels differently.

 

[JustKate]

^ Maybe, except that Bob used to pontificate on virtually everything. Bob considered Bob the wisest man in the whole wide world, and so anybody ought to take the advice of such a wise person, right?

Or not.

 

[Gepard]

^That still sounds pretty neurotic.

 

[Pingfah]

What I was just thinking

It's always the ones with the biggest mouths.

 

[JustKate]

^ & ^^ So I have to feel pity for every bombastic blowhard because of the tormented neurotic that might be cowering deep in his soul? Jeez, you people are demanding!

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Bob sounds like an asshole who was less upset by your perceived closed-mindedness than he was by your flat-out rejection of his advance.

 

[Gepard]

^ & ^^ So I have to feel pity for every bombastic blowhard because of the tormented neurotic that might be cowering deep in his soul? Jeez, you people are demanding!

Not at all – we're calling him crazy. Fell free to dismiss him at your leisure.

 

[Pingfah]

Eactly, neurotic people piss me off, I feel no pity for them

 

[Gepard]

*quietly stuffs own neurosis back in the box*

 

[JustKate]

Bob sounds like an asshole who was less upset by your perceived closed-mindedness than he was by your flat-out rejection of his advance.

Yeah. Bob was trying to find another "excuse" - not that I personally feel that I needed one - for that uncompromising "no" besides the obvious one, which was that I had zero interest in Bob for any reason whatsoever. "Poor Kate is just too timid and conventional and uptight" is a lot easier on the ego than "Kate dislikes me a lot." A guy's gotta prop up his manhood some way, I guess - but then again, if you're that sensitive, you probably shouldn't proposition somebody at wedding reception while surrounded by friends and mothers-of-the-bride and -of-the-groom and little kids and great aunts and so on.

Ooh, I forgot to mention that a few months after this wedding reception, we were at a backyard cookout at the home of the bridal couple, and dang if Bob and Judy weren't there. Oh, well, we said - no big deal, there are people all around so how bad can it be? We'd forgotten that a guy who hadn't allowed the presence of friends and mothers-of-the-bride and -of-the-groom and little kids and great aunts and so on to cramp his style was unlikely to be cramped by a couple dozen folks eating hamburgers.

Anyway, there I was, sitting at a large table with seven other people, including Bob, who was across the table from me. One of the other women was asking me about my hair, which at the time was very long, well past my waist. "I'll bet your husband really likes it," she said, and Bob said, loud enough for everybody at the table to hear, "I wouldn't blame him. I wouldn't mind getting tangled up in that hair."

Euw.

Not at all – we're calling him crazy. Fell free to dismiss him at your leisure.

Thanks! I shall do so. Because whatever else he may be, he's also a jerk.

 

[Kestra]

1. Monogamy is contrary to human nature. I don't agree with this, but I wouldn't consider it an insulting statement.

I just wanted to clarify that my own viewpoint isn't that monogamy itself is contrary to human nature, but that a lifetime of monogamy to the same individual seems a bit unnatural to me.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

1. Monogamy is contrary to human nature. I don't agree with this, but I wouldn't consider it an insulting statement.

I just wanted to clarify that my own viewpoint isn't that monogamy itself is contrary to human nature, but that a lifetime of monogamy to the same individual seems a bit unnatural to me.

Sorry to single you out. I just think it's a matter of perspective. Some people can and will do it. Some can't. Some people who are capable of it are not compatible enough with their partners to pull it off. Just a lot of variables involved.

 

[Kestra]

1. Monogamy is contrary to human nature. I don't agree with this, but I wouldn't consider it an insulting statement.

I just wanted to clarify that my own viewpoint isn't that monogamy itself is contrary to human nature, but that a lifetime of monogamy to the same individual seems a bit unnatural to me.

Sorry to single you out. I just think it's a matter of perspective. Some people can and will do it. Some can't. Some people who are capable of it are not compatible enough with their partners to pull it off. Just a lot of variables involved.

Always persecuting me for my different viewpoints! Yeah, there are a lot of different variables. And as someone noted earlier in the thread, something being unnatural doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't be done. While I don't believe that specific type of monogamy is natural over such a long duration, I believe it can be done and I believe that such a relationship is beneficial to many people.

I guess I just want to note that when I talk about my viewpoints on monogamy, it's not that I would immediately point to polyamory as the "natural" alternative. Besides, there's also such a thing as being alone!

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I just wanted to clarify that my own viewpoint isn't that monogamy itself is contrary to human nature, but that a lifetime of monogamy to the same individual seems a bit unnatural to me.

Sorry to single you out. I just think it's a matter of perspective. Some people can and will do it. Some can't. Some people who are capable of it are not compatible enough with their partners to pull it off. Just a lot of variables involved.

Always persecuting me for my different viewpoints! Yeah, there are a lot of different variables. And as someone noted earlier in the thread, something being unnatural doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't be done. While I don't believe that specific type of monogamy is natural over such a long duration, I believe it can be done and I believe that such a relationship is beneficial to many people.

I guess I just want to note that when I talk about my viewpoints on monogamy, it's not that I would immediately point to polyamory as the "natural" alternative. Besides, there's also such a thing as being alone!

So very, very alone, as many on TrekBBS can attest.

And I enjoy persecuting you. Do you feel oppressed yet?

 

[Guartho]

Ooh, I forgot to mention that a few months after this wedding reception, we were at a backyard cookout at the home of the bridal couple, and dang if Bob and Judy weren't there.

There's something else you neglect to mention. Are/were Bob and Judy doing the bridal couple or not!?

 

[JustKate]

^ Euw. Not as far as I know - the groom, at least, said they had not. Not that I asked - there are some things I'd really, really, really, really rather not know! Which is good since in this case, they really, really, really, really were not any business of mine.

The bride had been friends with Judy for a looooong time, and so I think (and hope and pray) that putting up with Bob was just part of the package. Why, you ask? Because I like the bride and I'd hate to see her giving Bob so much as the time of day. But I don't know. The bridal couple has since split up, and for that matter so have Bob and Judy. Talk about an ill-fated wedding...