Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

[RJDiogenes]

My coffee shop is open this morning if anyone wants to come in a sit for awhile. I'll be busy myself, but you can help yourself and there are plenty of flavors - the right coffee or tea for everyone.

I'll stop by for some tea while I peruse my latest literary acquisitions.

... Has anyone seen May20? (is that her username?) Maybe I can contract with her to bring over some morning pasteries...

I think May mostly hangs out in the lounge these days.

My scary thug-types>your spooky ghost types. Bring it on!

For example there is our latest concoction (of which I am particularly proud), the Mjollnir a powerful cocktail that will make the night go with a bang.

I'll stop by when I feel like getting hammered.

After a few works and a new coat of paint, the new Villa Iguana is finished. Of course, everybody's invited to the benvenuto party. Black tie, obviously.

As long as I get to wear it around my head....

 

[iguana_tonante]

After a few works and a new coat of paint, the new Villa Iguana is finished. Of course, everybody's invited to the benvenuto party. Black tie, obviously.

As long as I get to wear it around my head....

The ladies will be impressed.

 

[RJDiogenes]

They usually are. It's rather dashing.

 

[F. King Daniel]

(during the night, an unoccupied house is burned to the ground - almost as if someone is sending a message. The police have no clues, but a few of them do seem somewhat shady, and not above taking a bribe or two. KingDaniel strolls by the wreckage, whistling a merry tune...)

 

[iguana_tonante]

I say the honest gentlemen of this respectable neighbourhood should join and take necessary actions against the small-time criminal thugs that are plaguing our streets and endangering our families. There are ways to do things, proper ways, correct ways. But they have no elegance, no style. No honour. No respect.

If you want, I can take care of that. I know people. People that do things. That's all you need to know. All I ask in return, is very little. A small thing. Almost nothing. Let's just say that you people will owe me a favour. We are all gentlemen here, so just need your word and it will we be as good as done.

Well, I would appreciate if you will call me Don Iguana, tho. As I said, it's all about respect.

 

[Thor Damar]

My dear Don Iguana, how nice it is to hear from you on this, the day of my second cousins wedding. I too share your concern for the general well being of this wonderful town and as a humble provider of refreshments and entertainments I am loath to see things getting out of hand.

However, as one gentlemen to another, I must regretfully pass up your kind offer, for you see I lack not for a certain influence of my own and in the RUC we know how to take care of...things.

A mutually beneficial alliance would I believe go some way to maintaining that leave of decorum that we need.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Deranged Nasat wanders onto the street, dressed in a dirty overcoat, ragged trousers with his underpants showing, and a strangely-out-of-place wide-rimmed hat. He mutters darkly to himself over something you can't quite make out. He fishes with grubby fingers into a deep pocket and pulls out a rather pathetic cigarette butte. He then decides to sit down in a doorway (not sure whose, but it's there) and try to light it. It's been raining, so he can't. This results in more dark muttering. A well-dressed woman walks by. Deranged Nasat staggers out of the doorway waving his hands and shouting incoherent garbage. The lady is startled and moves away at speed. Satisfied, Deranged Nasat sits back down. This is his doorway now.

Bugrit.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I'd like a cute little house w/ a view of the wilderness, so I guess that's Neutral Ave. The far end away from the trailer park, please.

I'm retired, but looking for a part-time job. Somebody want to hire me? RJ?

(KingDaniel does not notice that an unknown woman, considering moving to the area, is walking not far behind him, observing his not-so-casual stroll and his feigned disinterest in the burnt house. A while later, she leaves an anonymous voice-mail message at the Trekbbsville P.D., reporting her suspicions.)

 

[Miss Chicken]

The Crazy Cat Lady come home after taking a couple of her cats out for a bike ride and discovers that 6 of her cats are missing. She is certain that they have been kidnapped. She angrily blames KingDanielwho she believes stole them because the Crazy Cat Lady didn't get around to paying the protection money he demanded.

However her way back from confronting KingDaniel's she sees two cats that look remarkably like two of her missing pussies looking out of a window of Villa Iguana. Have her cats run away to live in splendour at this mansion?

 

[RJDiogenes]

For a brief instant, an indescribable portal appears in the very air, unnameable shapes swirl in non-geometric patterns as unknowable colors flash and unsingable music does unutterable things, and unspeakable smells cause unfathomable accidents in people's unmentionables. When it's over, nobody can be sure that it actually happened, but KingDaniel is nowhere to be found.

I'm retired, but looking for a part-time job. Somebody want to hire me? RJ?

Do you love books? Are you a tea drinker? Can you face down Lovecraftian Horrors without losing your marbles?

 

[Tora Ziyal]

For a brief instant, an indescribable portal appears in the very air, unnameable shapes swirl in non-geometric patterns as unknowable colors flash and unsingable music does unutterable things, and unspeakable smells cause unfathomable accidents in people's unmentionables. When it's over, nobody can be sure that it actually happened, but KingDaniel is nowhere to be found.

I'm retired, but looking for a part-time job. Somebody want to hire me? RJ?

Do you love books? Are you a tea drinker? Can you face down Lovecraftian Horrors without losing your marbles?

Book lover, tea drinker and tough.

 

[RJDiogenes]

You're hired!

 

[F. King Daniel]

Suddenly, a massive explosion lights up the night sky - it is, or rather was, RJ's bookshop. the place was empty of people at the time, but most of RJ's stuff has been destroyed. Kreacher, blasted backward a dozen feet by the blast, sees a few shady looking thugs fleeing the scene towards Dancing Skeleton's coffee shop, carrying what look like some of RJ's spell books. It would appear that KingDaniel's loyal underlings, and maybe the mysterious coffee shop owner, have a plan.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Watching from his apartment, MLB shakes his head sadly at the sudden rash fierce blaze of riot...

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Oh, no, RJ! I'm so sorry! How can I help?

Kreacher stops by the coffee shop to sip a cup of "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." and quietly watch.... Tough as she is, she still wonders whether moving to Trekbbsville might have been a rash decision.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Deranged Nasat was just settling down in his doorway for the night when the commotion woke him. Ranting and cursing, he staggered across the street waving his arms, shouting to whoever would listen about the goats, the goats!

 

[RJDiogenes]

Oh, no, RJ! I'm so sorry! How can I help?

Don't worry. As the smoke clears, we can see that the solid granite structure of our store is mostly untouched. The thugs only got away with some Crossword Puzzle magazines that were in the racks out front. However, having attacked an edifice favored by the Old Ones, these thugs will soon find themselves in private rooms at Arkham Asylum, wearing coats that tie in the back and gibbering mindlessly.

We did suffer some cosmetic damage, though. Are there any repairmen in this soap opera?

 

[Miss Chicken]

"This violence has to stop" yells the Crazy Cat Lady "Soaps should be about the torrid love affairs etc".

 

[F. King Daniel]

It seems RJ's assesment of the stolen goods was in error, as after much strange chanting and eerie lights in the night sky (followed by hours of thumping and groaning), KingDaniel steps out of Dancing Skeleton's coffee shop. KingDaniel looks well at first glance, but something is different about him - there's a coldness in the eyes. It's almost as if something from the other side came back with him. He walks back to his home on Neutral Street.

Dancing Skeleton is briefly seen in the doorway to the coffee shop, dressed in Voodoo gear. She looks a little unkept, as if she went straight from an unholy ressurection to a night of mind-blowing super sex with a man possesed by the devil himself. She dreamily goes about her buisness, limping slightly.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

The thugs only got away with some Crossword Puzzle magazines that were in the racks out front. However, having attacked an edifice favored by the Old Ones, these thugs will soon find themselves in private rooms at Arkham Asylum, wearing coats that tie in the back and gibbering mindlessly.

I hope so, RJ. But I'm hearing some weird rumors going around town. I'm headed to the coffee shop -- looks like this is going to be my daily routine -- to have my morning tea and read the paper. Will stop by the shop this afternoon.