May I just say it’s because you love them? And the longer you go without them, those parts of you that were used to having them around to continue to spark that love now misses them. It’s because you love them.
Mental Wellness Support Group
- Thread starter Twilight Phoenix
- Start date
Thank you, that means a lot. Thanksgiving isn't really the same without mom.
Starting to understand why I “qualify” as disabled. I didn’t realise my mental health was bad until my GP looked like she was going to cry, apparently i’ve been depressed for about 5/6 years among other things (im 17), and count as high risk?? (however refused help until im 18 bc it would not benefit for my parents to know and consent for physical health is 16 but mental health is 18). Was also offered an autism diagnosis a few years ago after long term observation and denied it (which was stupid). But under the equality act I still count as disabled which is insane to me but i’m also beginning to see why… and realising how much it impacts me ??
recently handed in my uni application in which i had to fill in the disability thing and realised i qualif.
recently handed in my uni application in which i had to fill in the disability thing and realised i qualif.
So, I had to set a boundary on a work related project and I hate doing that. Yes, I know that boundaries are very important, and as a mental health professional, I would often tell clients that same thing. But, this is one area were I see a need and want to fulfill it even though it is beyond my skill set.
It's a deeply mix feeling that I don't like. But, given the events of the past week it was very necessary.
It's a deeply mix feeling that I don't like. But, given the events of the past week it was very necessary.
I finally received word from my medical provider about my hormone therapy, albeit it ended up quite bittersweet. It turns out that the National Centre for Public Health and Pharmacy never bothered to answer any of the clinic's inquiries or applications, and after two months of silence, my doctor decided that if they had to wait for the government, their patients will never receive their medically necessary care, so they took the nuclear option and transferred all of us to a clinic in Belgrade, Serbia, at least on paper. I was accordingly given a Serbian prescription for Estradiol and testosterone blockers.
I was assured that pharmacies in Hungary are legally obliged to fill international prescriptions (and that the people who were given the slips have already successfully had them filled, some of them in smaller towns too), and it seems like I won't be worse off financially either, as Estradiol is not subject to price subsidies in Hungary anyway. Fingers crossed.
I was assured that pharmacies in Hungary are legally obliged to fill international prescriptions (and that the people who were given the slips have already successfully had them filled, some of them in smaller towns too), and it seems like I won't be worse off financially either, as Estradiol is not subject to price subsidies in Hungary anyway. Fingers crossed.
Fingers and toes crossed!
My misadventures with medical bureucracy continue. The pharmacy was able to fill my prescription for Estradiol after a moment of bewildered stares at my Serbian receipt, but I was informed that the specific cyproterone-acetate-based testosterone blocker I was prescribed is no longer available in Hungary in either previously sold sizing, not even for orders, and they could only suggest that I negotiate an alternative medicine with my medical provider. Quite a change after my doctor told me on Monday that their other patients experienced no difficulties or shortages.
However, as I was typing this post, others in the local online trans group I'm in told me that it's an expensive and rarely prescribed drug, so a lot of drugstores will often not stock it at all and instead claim that it's unavailable altogether to avoid the hassle of actually having to order it. I was advised to keep looking until I find a location that actually promises to order it for me.
However, as I was typing this post, others in the local online trans group I'm in told me that it's an expensive and rarely prescribed drug, so a lot of drugstores will often not stock it at all and instead claim that it's unavailable altogether to avoid the hassle of actually having to order it. I was advised to keep looking until I find a location that actually promises to order it for me.
I'm sorry you're having such difficulties with this!
My temporary stay at a psychiatry ward in a hospital is at an end, I've been dreading this all week. I don't want to go home, I don't want to be alone, I have nothing to do the coming days, I'm going to be bored to tears. There's nothing or nobody at home who's waiting for me and will be happy I'll be home except my cat.
And unfortunately my meeting to go to an actual psychiatry will be next week, so I hope the wait list is manageable but I doubt it. I'm dreading my stay in the psychiatry, it will be my second time there. And it feels like all the progress I've made in the 10 years since I was there was for nothing. It feels like I'm starting all over again, and I just hope that this time I'll secure a future for me that actually makes me happy.
And unfortunately my meeting to go to an actual psychiatry will be next week, so I hope the wait list is manageable but I doubt it. I'm dreading my stay in the psychiatry, it will be my second time there. And it feels like all the progress I've made in the 10 years since I was there was for nothing. It feels like I'm starting all over again, and I just hope that this time I'll secure a future for me that actually makes me happy.
I've managed to place my order at the pharmacy suggested in the support group, and it looks like I've inadvertently figured out why other places would say it's unavailable. The pharmacist looked up the brand name and apologetically showed me the profile that said "temporarily unavailable", and added that the system doesn't offer the generic brand as an alternative so they can't fill the prescription at all; it looks like after the widely known unavailability of the 60-pill pack, the shortage has now reached the 50-pill one too. At this moment, their colleague who had recently arrived and hadn't even finished taking their coat off yet, immediately stepped in and explained that you need to look up the 50-pill version in the system directly, because the search function will only return the unavailable larger pack if you search for only the brand name. I had to give my phone number, and they'll call me as soon as my order is ready to pick up sometime next week. So once again, fingers crossed.
welp, i got my diagnosis and my mental health plan and a referral letter, so therapy time. it's weird, the last three months have kinda been the worst of my life but also the best. i have done more things and seen more people in the last month or so than entire years. everyone i say what's going on to has been so understanding.
Update: I can go to the psychiatry for a longer stay in January, I don't know the exact date yet but I'm hopeful it will be soon. Meanwhile, my mom continues to a pain in the ass.
She accuses me of abandoning my cat, which makes no sense because I was DEPRESSED and in a psychiatry ward in a hospital for three weeks and I visited my cat every Wednesday evening and Sunday! AND I had sitter, granted my sitter had only 10 minutes to feed my cat but it's still better than nothing.
I suggested that next time I would let my back up sitter come, but my mom refused because he asked for money and true friends don't ask for money according to my mom. But it was 5€ for those three weeks so my mom is exaggerating.
She accuses me of abandoning my cat, which makes no sense because I was DEPRESSED and in a psychiatry ward in a hospital for three weeks and I visited my cat every Wednesday evening and Sunday! AND I had sitter, granted my sitter had only 10 minutes to feed my cat but it's still better than nothing.
I suggested that next time I would let my back up sitter come, but my mom refused because he asked for money and true friends don't ask for money according to my mom. But it was 5€ for those three weeks so my mom is exaggerating.
Life can be so complicated and hits you at weird times.
A friend, albeit past co-worker/big boss for a long time, fought with cancer for 11 years and passed away last Wednesday morning. It was a long battle on a slow downhill that was always difficult and for the last year (and most likely more) very painful. To use a stereotypical phrase, at least she is not suffering any more. And knowing her and her disposition she is organizing and leading a force to reckon with wherever she is now.
A friend, albeit past co-worker/big boss for a long time, fought with cancer for 11 years and passed away last Wednesday morning. It was a long battle on a slow downhill that was always difficult and for the last year (and most likely more) very painful. To use a stereotypical phrase, at least she is not suffering any more. And knowing her and her disposition she is organizing and leading a force to reckon with wherever she is now.
I was in bed last night, thinking how much my nighttime routine has gotten so predictable and boring these past few years. I was in no way depressed or anxious, but I felt a certain nostalgia for the "good old days."
Nowadays I go to bed at 9 p.m. but don't necessarily fall asleep right away. I used to stay up as late as 11:00 watching my favorite TV shows. So many of them ended a long time ago, or I simply lost interest in them (CSI, Supergirl, Once Upon a Time, American Horror Story, et al).
Going back further, I would even stay up as late as 1 a.m. in chatrooms, or playing The Sims or some online game. It didn't bother me much that I had to get up early for work the next day because I was having fun.
Most of the time, I scroll mindlessly through TikTok or Facebook with the TV on in the background, usually half-watching Law & Order SVU reruns. ? I still have a few favorite shows or series on Netflix and Paramount+, but those are seasonal and I can watch them any day of the week at no specific timeslot.
Looking back, I certainly had more energy and enthusiasm in my 20s and 30s, even if it meant not having a good sleep hygiene.
ETA: For context, I'm single, turned 50 last year, and don't really go out at night.
Nowadays I go to bed at 9 p.m. but don't necessarily fall asleep right away. I used to stay up as late as 11:00 watching my favorite TV shows. So many of them ended a long time ago, or I simply lost interest in them (CSI, Supergirl, Once Upon a Time, American Horror Story, et al).
Going back further, I would even stay up as late as 1 a.m. in chatrooms, or playing The Sims or some online game. It didn't bother me much that I had to get up early for work the next day because I was having fun.
Most of the time, I scroll mindlessly through TikTok or Facebook with the TV on in the background, usually half-watching Law & Order SVU reruns. ? I still have a few favorite shows or series on Netflix and Paramount+, but those are seasonal and I can watch them any day of the week at no specific timeslot.
Looking back, I certainly had more energy and enthusiasm in my 20s and 30s, even if it meant not having a good sleep hygiene.
ETA: For context, I'm single, turned 50 last year, and don't really go out at night.
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I use to stay up until 1 AM a lot but find I prefer the early mornings now at 40.
It's odd how that is.
ETA:
I recall a couple of posts on grief, here in this thread and elsewhere, and stumbled upon this quote. As usual, post holidays, I'm more measured and reflective, finding the passing of time frustrating in its unrelenting pace yet encouraged by something learned over the past year. And grief is one of those things:
“Grief is love within the condition of loss. I find many people are in a hurry to move past it these days, thinking it is ‘just’ a wound, an injury. I encourage people to value it and pay closer attention to it..."
I was talking to a friend who commented on the busyness of the holiday season. For me, as a mental health therapist, I often see an increase of struggle for many this time of year. Feelings of loss, sadness, missed loved ones, or even the longing for days past.
But, in the busyness we often want to hurry past grief. Maybe because it's uncomfortable, or no one wants to deal with it. Maybe we don't know how to see past it.
For those struggling with grief, regardless of the source, I would encourage to find a place to pause and reflect, even in the discomfort. Because there is something to be learned there, despite how much it sucks.
Happy New Year!
It's odd how that is.
ETA:
I recall a couple of posts on grief, here in this thread and elsewhere, and stumbled upon this quote. As usual, post holidays, I'm more measured and reflective, finding the passing of time frustrating in its unrelenting pace yet encouraged by something learned over the past year. And grief is one of those things:
“Grief is love within the condition of loss. I find many people are in a hurry to move past it these days, thinking it is ‘just’ a wound, an injury. I encourage people to value it and pay closer attention to it..."
I was talking to a friend who commented on the busyness of the holiday season. For me, as a mental health therapist, I often see an increase of struggle for many this time of year. Feelings of loss, sadness, missed loved ones, or even the longing for days past.
But, in the busyness we often want to hurry past grief. Maybe because it's uncomfortable, or no one wants to deal with it. Maybe we don't know how to see past it.
For those struggling with grief, regardless of the source, I would encourage to find a place to pause and reflect, even in the discomfort. Because there is something to be learned there, despite how much it sucks.
Happy New Year!
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I'm happy nothing lasts forever including life bc I'm starting to hate the concept of living. It feels pointless. I also lost my faith in humanity.
If things lasted forever how could we appreciate how precious they were?
Hey, now...none of that!!! I KNOW it is hard to find the point, sometimes, but remember the point of this whole BBS site; live and explore...there are wonders out there, truly! (my words)
Read and feel these, @Bynar0110
“One man cannot summon the future. But one man can change the present! ” Alternate Mr. Spock, “Mirror, Mirror”
“A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.” Dr. Boyce, “The Menagerie,” (“The Cage”)
“Live now; make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again.” Jean-Luc Picard, “Inner Light”
I understand these sentiments and also feel them on most days since childhood and moreso these days (for so many reasons). I know I can’t change others and so I put my shoulder down and push through. That used to do it for me. Now, I’m feeling it more and more. I’ve heard people saying that they could not imagine living forever but my reaction is always I could. But, I know that I cannot really think that and not figure out what I would do with forever. I still don’t know what that is as I can’t even figure out what I can do with retirement.
Someone focusing on my behavior and flashing optimistic quotes has never done it for me and if anything just brings out the cynic in me more. Optimistic quotes come from those who feel what they are saying…they do not produce the feelings!
What does it for me are adventures which I’ve not done in the last several years. So we’re gearing up to start doing those again and more and I’m hoping it will give me something to look forward to and enjoy. It’s all I’ve got right now.
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No matter the stress or frustration of life I cannot imagine not living it.
My wife spent half our marriage misdiagnosed resulting in a year of hospital visits.
I just lost my job and started a new one but face crushing medical bills.
My daughter is having an unknown diagnosis with her stomach.
At every turn I fear losing everything. I fear this new job because I don't believe for a second I'm worth the trouble.
But what would life ending mean? Not the end of trouble.
My wife spent half our marriage misdiagnosed resulting in a year of hospital visits.
I just lost my job and started a new one but face crushing medical bills.
My daughter is having an unknown diagnosis with her stomach.
At every turn I fear losing everything. I fear this new job because I don't believe for a second I'm worth the trouble.
But what would life ending mean? Not the end of trouble.
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