Mental Wellness Support Group
- Thread starter Twilight Phoenix
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*hugs*
I've been there.
Have you ever tried meditation? It's not an instant solution, but I like to think of it as exercise for the brain. The more you do it, the stronger it gets, and the more "muscle memory" you build for the times you need it.
There are tons of different types of meditation and one of them might click for you. I enjoy mindfulness meditation as my bread and butter, guided mindfulness meditation at night sometimes, and mantra meditation during times of acute pain or distress.
There are lots of fascinating studies showing how powerful it can be - like ones where they scanned the brains of regular people and meditation experts while being subjected to pain, and the experts showed dramatically reduced brain activity. The signal would come in to the somatosensory cortex (showing they felt it), but that was basically it. The control group had all sorts of areas light up (e.g. from being anxious, wondering how much longer they'd have to be in pain, thinking about past times they've been in pain, etc). But it's useful for much more than pain tolerance.
Meditation is essentially the exercise of redirecting your attention back to a particular focus every time it wanders, building up your ability to do so. The better you get, the easier it becomes to rein it in (e.g. lying in bed at night).
I'm hardly an expert, but there have already been times when my brain was starting to really run away from me with ruminations etc, and I was able to meditate and shut it down completely.
Just one extra tool to consider adding to your toolbox. Another one I like at night is "mindful distraction" - acknowledging that the thoughts are there, but giving the brain something else to think about. Something along the lines of an audiobook - one engaging enough to be able to focus on it, but relaxing enough to keep me from getting excited about what's happening next.
I love Calm apps visualizations for meditation.
I've been using Insight Timer. Lots of free meditations.
Have you tried Ginger? It's subscription- based but provided free by my HMO.
I have not but will look at it. Always looking for new apps
Eep! I hope you can get it fixed soon!
They're draining it at 7 am but since the capacity alarm never went off in stressing over if it is fucked too. That would be a lot of money.
*HUGS*
Septic is drained. Didn't say anything was wrong with the tank & that the alarm was probably purposely disarmed by the old owner. Septic guy has known the old owner since they were kids and did not have nice things to say about him. Matching my own experiences so far and what I've heard from others.
Water softener is in.
Hopefully that is it for house surprises but who knows.
First employee review meeting went well. There were some very positive comments by the reviewers but also some that let me know I'm not going to get all I want I'm the second meeting next week. I'll no doubt have some bad anxiety before it as well.
Edit to add: Was having a few Christmas cookies/squares my mom made as comfort food.
I found a staple in my mouth.
Water softener is in.
Hopefully that is it for house surprises but who knows.
First employee review meeting went well. There were some very positive comments by the reviewers but also some that let me know I'm not going to get all I want I'm the second meeting next week. I'll no doubt have some bad anxiety before it as well.
Edit to add: Was having a few Christmas cookies/squares my mom made as comfort food.
I found a staple in my mouth.
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Deeeeeeep breaths. Count 4 in, hold for 7 counts, breathe out slow for 8 counts.
I'm glad the septic got dealt with. A staple?!?
I'm getting frustrated, I was supposed to be working with group or company that was supposed to be helping with my job search, but it's been over a week since my meeting with my case worker and I haven't heard from them yet. I have another meeting with my case worker on Tuesday and I'm supposed to give him an update on how that's going, so I guess I'll see what he has to say if I don't hear from them tomorrow or Monday.
Does anybody know how to practice forgiveness and self-acceptance when you're objectively a disgusting and horrible person? I keep whining about how horrible my life is, for no reason other than to garner sympathy from others for a quick dopamine fix (in fact, I'm doing it to you right now), then proceed to not lift a single finger to improve myself because it's too unconvenient and uncomfortable. I know myself well enough to know that even if I forgave myself, it wouldn't cause me to change my ways. I never did when others forgave me. I've squandered every single bit of goodwill I have ever received in my entire life, to the point where most of my friends have stopped offering me any emotional support because it makes them feel like I'm just outsourcing my emotional wellbeing to them (which is, ironically, the exact same thing my mother has been doing to me my entire life), and the most patient and helpful therapist who I've ever had the fortune to visit for three entire years flat-out refused to keep taking my money because she didn't want to keep watching me refuse any help and drive myself further into misery. I've been literally abusing myself emotionally and physically my entire life to the point of depriving myself of adequate sleep for almost two years now, how could I ever forgive myself for that? How could I ever accept being the kind of person who makes not only herself but everyone else around her miserable on purpose? If it were anyone else treating me this way, people would be well justified to say I'm in a toxic relationship and I need to escape from my abuser. But how could I ever do that when I myself am the abuser here?
I would recommend the book Loving What Is by Byron Katie. She has developed a method called The Work in which four questions changes how you perceive problems. It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem.
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