Kind of cool to find this thread. I have borderline personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (more obsessions than compulsions, though I have a few quirky ones), and very likely bipolar manic depression and an anxiety disorder.
Don’t trust psychologists, and psychiatrists I have no use for since I refuse to take anything Big Pharma pushes anymore after reading through just the surface level of the Pfizer docs. I don’t know about anyone else, but after being treated like a Guinea pig for a decade and a half, I’m done permitting my brain to be damaged by the incompetence of charlatans who want to keep trying different medications to treat symptoms rather than address the underlying trauma. I haven’t seen a doctor in seven or eight years.
I’ve survived Venlafaxine, Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac (got nice second degree sun burns to prove it), Remeron, Wellbutrin, Thorazine, lithium, Pamelor, Inderal, Amytryptilene (probably spelled wrong), Xanax, buspar, and probably at least a half dozen more I can’t remember.
I have found catharsis in my poetry (with the result that it’s not really a light and fluffy fare), and in world-building (which allows me to obsess over creating something tangible instead of worrying over the intangibles). Wound up with a wicked case of thanatophobia as a result of my obsessive rumination on subject matter I cannot change and cannot accept as an eventuality.
The result being that I have zero friends outside of the internet, harbor a rabid mistrust of anything government related (I don’t know about the rest of you, but my interactions with the petty tyrants of government bureaucracy have always been negative and harmful), and feel like I’m stuck in a surreal version of reality.
I tend to go through most days trying not to think about certain topics while my paranoid obsessiveness demands I think about those very things and examine them in excruciating detail, all the while hoping that I just wake up and this all goes away as part of some bad dream.
So, hi? I guess? Lol Pretty sure I qualify for this thread.