Mental Wellness Support Group

[Commander Troi]

Hi! Yeah, you qualify.

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. What about self-study of things like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? The tools I've gotten from it have really helped me with rumination and obsessiveness. So has meditation and learning some mindfulness techniques.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

Thank you and no I haven’t, not in any meaningful way. I really should look into it a bit but there never seems enough time in a day. So many projects.

I often wonder if I’m past the point of self help, and if thinking too deeply about certain things becomes problematic in that once you see or realize a thing, there’s no going back to a state of ignorance.

 

[Bynar0110]

Feeling mixed emotions right now because I screamed at a Nurse that tried to give me a Penicillin shot because I'm allergic to them. Nurse called me rude and ungrateful.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

Feeling mixed emotions right now because I screamed at a Nurse that tried to give me a Penicillin shot because I'm allergic to them. Nurse called me rude and ungrateful.

I'd say you should aim for feeling justified and reminding yourself you did nothing wrong.

Ungrateful? Pfff. For what? Not allowing yourself to get sent into anaphylactic shock and worse? Or maybe ungrateful for not causing her to lose her license and be kicked out of the medical profession when you go into that shock and sue the pants off the hospital for negligence?

I say, make a cup of coffee, have a pastry, and enjoy the afternoon sunshine to calm your nerves.

 

[fireproof78]

Kind of cool to find this thread. I have borderline personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (more obsessions than compulsions, though I have a few quirky ones), and very likely bipolar manic depression and an anxiety disorder.

Don’t trust psychologists, and psychiatrists I have no use for since I refuse to take anything Big Pharma pushes anymore after reading through just the surface level of the Pfizer docs. I don’t know about anyone else, but after being treated like a Guinea pig for a decade and a half, I’m done permitting my brain to be damaged by the incompetence of charlatans who want to keep trying different medications to treat symptoms rather than address the underlying trauma. I haven’t seen a doctor in seven or eight years.

I’ve survived Venlafaxine, Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac (got nice second degree sun burns to prove it), Remeron, Wellbutrin, Thorazine, lithium, Pamelor, Inderal, Amytryptilene (probably spelled wrong), Xanax, buspar, and probably at least a half dozen more I can’t remember.

I have found catharsis in my poetry (with the result that it’s not really a light and fluffy fare), and in world-building (which allows me to obsess over creating something tangible instead of worrying over the intangibles). Wound up with a wicked case of thanatophobia as a result of my obsessive rumination on subject matter I cannot change and cannot accept as an eventuality.

The result being that I have zero friends outside of the internet, harbor a rabid mistrust of anything government related (I don’t know about the rest of you, but my interactions with the petty tyrants of government bureaucracy have always been negative and harmful), and feel like I’m stuck in a surreal version of reality.

I tend to go through most days trying not to think about certain topics while my paranoid obsessiveness demands I think about those very things and examine them in excruciating detail, all the while hoping that I just wake up and this all goes away as part of some bad dream.

So, hi? I guess? Lol Pretty sure I qualify for this thread.

Well, welcome. First of all, not all mental health professionals are psychiatrists or psychologists so I would encourage you to look at a licensed social worker or counselor, especially one that specializes in borderline or DBT. Also, if you know there is underlying trauma that would be a great first place to start.

Two, sounds like you found some ways to cope and manage along the way which most humans do. We are built to survive after all, so I would be remiss in not calling out your strengths.

Three, I always encourage people to be mindful but not every thought requires our engagement. Some can come and go like shifting tides.

Feeling mixed emotions right now because I screamed at a Nurse that tried to give me a Penicillin shot because I'm allergic to them. Nurse called me rude and ungrateful.

Nurse is wrong.

You did what you needed to. You're ok.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

Ah, but it's the thoughts that are sticky I have problems with.

At 3 am. When I'm trying to sleep. lmao

 

[fireproof78]

Ah, but it's the thoughts that are sticky I have problems with.

At 3 am. When I'm trying to sleep. lmao

Pretty normal with anxiety.

That's why I get mindful. I struggle with anxiety ( a lot, nothing to do with trauma though) and so I focus on grounding, and mindful breathing and some ASMR type things to manage when it gets higher.

Like last night. That was rough.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

Mine usually comes out as anger. Like, I can't have too many things going on around me at once while I'm trying to focus or I get pissed off. It's like, why tf does it all have to happen by me all at the same time?

 

[fireproof78]

Mine usually comes out as anger. Like, I can't have too many things going on around me at once while I'm trying to focus or I get pissed off. It's like, why tf does it all have to happen by me all at the same time?

Understandable.

Our brains do not like to be idle, especially if there is trauma in the history and we feel the need to be on guard, even if we don't consciously know it.

The brain is an amazing thing until we find the ways it doesn't work like we want it too!

 

[Bynar0110]

As of today I no longer have a medical doctor because I was kicked out of the clinic. I won't be bothering finding another doctor.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

As of today I no longer have a medical doctor because I was kicked out of the clinic. I won't be bothering finding another doctor.

Got you, fam.

https://www.americasfrontlinedoctors.org/about-us

They do televisits and are all board-certified doctors that volunteer their time on AFLD's site.

 

[Bynar0110]

It would be against the rules if I expressed how i felt right now mentally!

 

[fireproof78]

It would be against the rules if I expressed how i felt right now mentally!

Are you safe?

 

[Bynar0110]

Are you safe?

Yes I'm safe!

 

[fireproof78]

Yes I'm safe!

Do you need help?

 

[Bynar0110]

Do you need help?

No I'm fine at the moment! I been talking to a crisis hotline.

 

[Michael Two Wolves]

Are you able to go take a walk? I swear, I used to go walk this track nearby where I lived and I would find myself getting mad that I wasn't mad anymore from just walking around the track. lmao How absurd is that? But hey, it helped. Even walking around the block will help.

 

[JD]

I'm thinking I might try and see if I can find a way to get tested to see if I have Asperger's/autism. I might then see if that can get on disability and even if I don't, then if I do get a job I figure an official diagnosis like that could give the extra protections if any issues come up.

 

[Commander Troi]

Yes.

 

[wayoung]

My new house closed today. After being delayed for two hours thanks to an issue with my lender deciding at the last minute they needed more paperwork with regards to my divorce, I got the keys.

I started a video documenting my walk in, for myself, my friends, and to document anything I may see.

The owner had pulled out all the shelving, in every room, including bar shelves that were screwed into the walls and patches but not painted the holes in the drywall, and the wall papered sections were just holes. And a set of blinds were missing. The old owner showed up as I was documenting stuff and said he wanted to go over some things, including apologizing for not getting to painting. I started to test the faucets and only a dribble of water came out. I asked him if he had turned off the water, nope. I could hear noise from below, that the pump was running.

We went down to the basement and water was spraying everywhere - pipe connection at the hot water tank was busted. Turned off the water and he said he'd fix it but I said nope, I have to call a plumber.

So I called my lawyers office to let them know, and then called a plumber. Told the old owner that it had to go through channels this time, the argument over curtains I ate but this is different.

My realtor got back to me and said 100% it should be the former owners paying for it.

Plumber arrived and was able to put in a quick fix but that it wouldn't hold. A new tank has to go in ASAP. But since it was a Friday and it would be after 4 by the time they started it would be hugely expensive as it was overtime emergency call prices. So I told him if he thought the quick fix would hold to book me in earliest opening.

He couldn't leave until the bill was covered so I paid, took a photo of the bill including his notes, sent it to the lawyer.

He also said something else wasn't working but I forgot to get him to write it down so called the office again and left a message to send it to me when they can.

Let the lawyers office and my realtor know what was now up.

I then found a door without a key so texted the former owner to bring it to the house. He asked about the plumber and I told him, whole tank needs to go out. He was apologetic and I said that I was leaving it with the lawyers. Letting them sort it out. He said he had already called his too.

Lost over three hours of the day. Only got one more trip of stuff moved, which means the movers I'm paying tomorrow will be working longer doing stuff I didn't get to. Plus the plumbers bill on my credit card.

Oh, and some of the stuff I had bought from them was missing, which he said he'd drop off tomorrow. I was supposed to pay the other half of that today but with the water didn't even get to fully check it all out to see if it is there/working and with the water pipe spraying and the pulled out shelving I am checking it all thoroughly.

My realtor had told me to document everything else I may find so I did and sent it off.

It really ruined my whole day. The divorce stuff was bad enough, but then the shelving (I had a table *MADE* based on the size of the dining room with the shelving factored in!) and the pipes and suddenly I was seeing everything the least bit off with the house. It wasn't even clean. Clean enough for a move, yeah, probably the same as I'm leaving my apartment, but I was seeing everything wrong and I felt incredibly angry and frustrated and worried about legal fees and water tank costs and the pipes breaking again and the state of cleanliness of the place made me feel... Gross. Dirty. Like I needed to bath in sanitizer. And I lost the afternoon of moving & prep for tomorrow.

I had thought today was going to be a good day and instead it was terrible. I couldn't even eat supper. I would have taken a pill (I haven't for two months) but I have so much to do and have to be up so early tomorrow morning to start that I couldn't risk it. And I haven't even don the actual move yet, that's tomorrow. During weather so bad there are storm alerts on my phone.

My first day and I'm severely regretting buying the house because of these issues. It all feels... Ruined now.

And now it's 11pm and I'm venting online instead of sleeping when I have to be up early tomorrow for more moving stuff.

I wonder what else will go wrong tomorrow.