Mental Wellness Support Group

[rhubarbodendron]

no, thank heavens I have no completely unfounded panic. I just react far too extreme in situations that are beyond my control. I think it is an unfortunate combination of my experiences with an insane landlady (reason has no chance when talking with someone who's brain is slowly dissolving) and violent paretns who beat it into my subconscience that when you are at the mercy of a someone, you can be glad to get off with your life.
Both combine in my guts into: something happens that I can't control/repair myself => my landlord will freak out & I am completely at the mercy of others (the landlord/janitor/repair crew) => I'm in danger of my life.
In my head I know it's complete nonsense but I can't break through that unfortunate conditioning.
On the other hand: with 2 cases of intestinal cancer in the family I might have to undergo a surgery soonar or later and with less guts, the misguided gut feeling might get less, too (without my gallows humour I'd propably wear a comfy white jacket with leather straps on the sleeves...)

 

[Butters]

Gallows humour is a powerful defence against trauma.

 

[think]

I don't like Gallows Humour it is too ...mmmm maybe too real or something specially when it is real , You know
I looked it up to make sure I was on the right path and got more examples too..

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
― Steve Martin

 

[Butters]

Every now and then gallows humour makes its way in to the press, usually when someone loses their job because of an inappropriate joke being overheard by someone that doesn’t have to deal with what that job entails. Some jobs are too grim to be somber about it.

My mental health is on a low at the moment. I wasn’t feeling the benefit of the medication I was taking and it was killing my libido. Turns out those meds were helping, but I still had down days. Now I’m waiting for the new stuff to kick in. This would be a lot easier without the other trials I face, or, everything would be easier without this.

 

[think]

You know the easier it gets the less respect there is for the process. When it is being difficult and hard to deal with the challenges makes it more rewarding in the end... which is easier said then done.. but challenges breed respect from the observers and respect from the one challenged .. it is all too easy sometimes for me but like I can't establish a daily routine .. you know and that would be easy enough if it didn't keep happening day after day on like a daily so if I got time off from the regular nonsense ... I would be alright... well right now I have off from that so... I am alright but the times I "have to" be some place regularly it is that i need to open a church for a Meeting I am apart of.. I have to get there unlock it being the only one in the group with a key ,,,, week after week hot cold what ever just open it set the chairs and paper work out and such.. I get really stressed on the times I want to sleep rather then go.. which is often. but the med change does not help. yet I am getting used . the new meds.. mind you the reason for the med change was something like, we thought the meds were causing me to twitch a LOT but they were not we found the cause and fixed it ,,, but I have still changed my meds.. oh the irony of it all.. going back to the original meds would be yet another med change IDK I am just about used to these meds... and they "seem" to work.. as psychotropics go you know...dag I set this reply just to talk about the libido stuff and didn't even get to it.. so yeah it is easier not to be in constant great libido form saves energy for other things but that might just be the wellbutrin talking you know. the BP meds does not help that either.. but it is ok.. at least it is not like mellaril -- with empty errrrr hopes going on ... spent like a few years in the 1980's on that one. dag I can write .. more writing to be soon..

 

[KimMH]

Regardless how the perception of the process is relative to it's perceived "ease" - I hope you continue to get closer and closer to your goal. We are all rooting for you B.

 

[Nakita Akita]

no, thank heavens I have no completely unfounded panic. I just react far too extreme in situations that are beyond my control. I think it is an unfortunate combination of my experiences with an insane landlady (reason has no chance when talking with someone who's brain is slowly dissolving) and violent paretns who beat it into my subconscience that when you are at the mercy of a someone, you can be glad to get off with your life.
Both combine in my guts into: something happens that I can't control/repair myself => my landlord will freak out & I am completely at the mercy of others (the landlord/janitor/repair crew) => I'm in danger of my life.
In my head I know it's complete nonsense but I can't break through that unfortunate conditioning.
On the other hand: with 2 cases of intestinal cancer in the family I might have to undergo a surgery soonar or later and with less guts, the misguided gut feeling might get less, too (without my gallows humour I'd propably wear a comfy white jacket with leather straps on the sleeves...)

Well my mother had colon cancer.
My dad is 90 years old and had stitches in his finger when he was eight and fell and broke his leg at 83.
I had kidney cancer at 48. Had to have my kidney removed.

Life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

 

[rhubarbodendron]

^that's propably why I am a teatotaller. Else I couldn't possibly manage to drink all that lemonade

I don't like Gallows Humour it is too ...mmmm maybe too real or something specially when it is real

Gallows humour is the Muggle's ridiculosus-spell: if you make fun of a problem it immediately looks far less threatening. You stop being scared of it and manage to take a closer look. That may often reveal an unsuspected weakness of the problem where you can tackle it.

Some jobs are too grim to be somber about it.

amen to that! It's no coincidence that the medical professions and biologists have the most grim jokes.
My favourite one comes from an ambulance driver and makes fun of the tabloid newspapers: a helicopter crashes into a cemetry. The next day [insert name of tabloid here] titles: "Aviation desaster! Already 300 dead bodies recovered!"

 

[Butters]

I thought that I was doing better, but it was just the respite effect of the gift of space, but that’s now being impinged upon by the intrusion of ‘process’.

I’m on day two of an anxiety blitz and I need to find the strength to get the kids hair cut before they start school tomorrow, and buy new uniforms, and pick up their school branded sports kit. Emotionally, it’s like my mind is stretched to a long narrow string, like Stretch Armstrong, and all meaningful thoughts are ensnared in the tangle. Physically, it’s like there someone stood on my stomach, and someone stood my throat. I know that they’re taking about me, but I can’t make out what they say.

Mental Health, who needs it.

 

[think]

you know @Butters you can do this... relax don't worry ... just do it . you got this. it's about the love.. right? just love the love it will get better .. it will.. feel it get better. my voices when they talk about me... really talk about me not anyone there. I have trained them to say only good things.. was difficult but manageable .. used to be they would know how to push my buttons and do just that with the words I would hear in my ears.. now just good things ... it's annoying but better then before. it did get better.

 

[Butters]

It’s not the words that bother me, so much as the feeling.

When I was little, I would play with my friends by the river. It was shallow, but had steep grassy banks in places. If you weren’t careful, you could slip down and find you can’t get back out. The grass would be too short to grasp, the bank too steep and wet. Your feet would sink in to the mud, losing your footing. That panic that sets in when you realise that the only way out isn’t working, and you’ll have to risk the deeper water to get to a lower bank. It’s a bit like that.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

It’s not the words that bother me, so much as the feeling.

When I was little, I would play with my friends by the river. It was shallow, but had steep grassy banks in places. If you weren’t careful, you could slip down and find you can’t get back out. The grass would be too short to grasp, the bank too steep and wet. Your feet would sink in to the mud, losing your footing. That panic that sets in when you realise that the only way out isn’t working, and you’ll have to risk the deeper water to get to a lower bank. It’s a bit like that.

I hope that things will improve soon. Sending positive vibes.

 

[Joanna McCoy-Kirk]

Hi, I haven't posted in this thread in a while, so here goes. I have been taking Buspar for years for my anxiety, and it has worked well for me. My dosage was 30 mg 3 times a day, but back in April Medicaid stopped paying for it because of that dosage. I started getting large drug bills, so I told my psychiatrist about it and she reduced my dosage to 20 mg 3 times a day. She said I shouldn't notice much of a difference on that reduced dosage. I hope Medicaid will pay for it now because my last drug bill was $85, and I can't afford that (I am on disability).

 

[KimMH]

Hi, I haven't posted in this thread in a while, so here goes. I have been taking Buspar for years for my anxiety, and it has worked well for me. My dosage was 30 mg 3 times a day, but back in April Medicaid stopped paying for it because of that dosage. I started getting large drug bills, so I told my psychiatrist about it and she reduced my dosage to 20 mg 3 times a day. She said I shouldn't notice much of a difference on that reduced dosage. I hope Medicaid will pay for it now because my last drug bill was $85, and I can't afford that (I am on disability).

I’m sorry this has happed and hope Medicaid will pay for the new dose.

 

[think]

Buspar, when I was on buspar ... It did nothing .. IDK I was on a bunch of meds and coming down from a long drug run.. so I really didn't notice much working at all.. but if it works that is good .. I have medicaid and medicare and somehow I have no bills for my meds... I don't know what I would do with a 85 dollar bill for meds I need. IDK but there may be a generic for buspar now I was taking it in 89 or so .. in the first rehab. so yeah there may be a generic out there that well may not be as good but will work. Look into that. and alternatives it is possible to take something else... that I don't know as well I am not a dr ..== just someone who has been there.

 

[rredmond]

Ugh on the insurances and drug companies. Is buspirone the generic of Buspar? Maybe the doctor could try that? If it's cheaper, Medicaid (I'm guessing) is more likely to pay.
Good luck though!

 

[think]

 

[think]

Was sick today... I don't know what of just.. bad digestive system and feeling like I would die.. that would be my psyche telling me if I'm not feeling great then I will die but that sensation has passed now I am better just not 100% missed the meeting today but it is ok I will live to go another day..

 

[think]

made the meeting tonite/// earlier was great.. speaker ended the speaking part by saying he was happy I shared about that.. ... was a good day the meeting was in my town and I walked to it shared about my wake panic attacks that I go thru that and the years and years of suicidal idealizations gone for a couple of years now .. it is good.. I did not get to share about my video game obsession that is not a problem for me but might be or mmmmm maybe because it is an obsession and all so yeah I guess... I did not go to that tonite after the meeting and did video work and music stuff.. missed a dose of meds earlier this week but it is ok I was sick IDK maybe from missing the does but what ever... I am ok now.. --- feel good / great. I am happy with what might cause insanity in someone else or at least confusion maybe ... but I am good. and well.

meds are still a difficult thing to manage daily twice.. but I do.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

made the meeting tonite/// earlier was great.. speaker ended the speaking part by saying he was happy I shared about that.. ... was a good day the meeting was in my town and I walked to it shared about my wake panic attacks that I go thru that and the years and years of suicidal idealizations gone for a couple of years now .. it is good.. I did not get to share about my video game obsession that is not a problem for me but might be or mmmmm maybe because it is an obsession and all so yeah I guess... I did not go to that tonite after the meeting and did video work and music stuff.. missed a dose of meds earlier this week but it is ok I was sick IDK maybe from missing the does but what ever... I am ok now.. --- feel good / great. I am happy with what might cause insanity in someone else or at least confusion maybe ... but I am good. and well.

meds are still a difficult thing to manage daily twice.. but I do.

I'm glad that you're doing well.