Man it sucks having female friends...
- Thread starter Aldo
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Every female I've ever talked to, in my long years of being a male, has never resented being called a girl. Likewise, I've never minded being called a boy, and don't go around asking people to call me a man. My ego isn't quite that large yet.
A
Amaris
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I use the term "kid" or "kids" all of the time. I referred to a friend and his wife as "they're good kids", even though he is 3 years my senior. I guess I was born old.
Yeah, I'd say.
I don't mind having female friends. I love it, usually get along a lot better with women then I do with men. What I don't like is when I'm very much into a girl and think I'm just getting to know her and pretty sure that she's into me, only to hear that I'm such a great friend. Which is great, having more friends is always good. Just once I'd like to be seen not as safe, cuddly and a good friend, but as a caring, hot, potential lover.
Sorry, late night, dark and pessimistic thoughts appear
Anyway, Aldo, to turn to your situation. If she's raising five kids, I'm gonna agree with that was previously said, work is her social time.
I call old people "young man" or "young lady" when I get into arguments with them. It amuses me.
I use the term "kid" or "kids" all of the time. I referred to a friend and his wife as "they're good kids", even though he is 3 years my senior. I guess I was born old.
Anyway, I have female friends, and I rarely have problems. Most of them aren't interested in me in a sexual/romantic way. While I wouldn't mind giving most of them a bit of the old in-out, I don't feel a need to actively seek it.
Also, that whole thing about romance ruining relationships: bullshit. One friend of mine that I had a serious thing for throughout most of the time I was in school finally went on a date a few years ago. It didn't work out and pretty much nothing changed between us, except that I'm over her and can relax. My "New Friend" that I've mentioned several times and I didn't become friends until after we had already had sex. Recently it came up in conversation with another friend that the only reason we hadn't hooked up is because both of us thought the other wasn't interested in it, and we've become better friends since... unfortunately, she lives several hundred miles from me so I can't do anything else about it right now. Although, she is visiting in a month or two. It isn't sex, intimacy, or love that drive people apart; it's expectations, jealousy, and all the arbitrary rules people apply to relationships. Sex, intimacy, and love bring people together.
Hah, I agree. We think much alike. I've had that happen many times. It strikes me as a downer when it happens, especially when I want something more. I think, gee, when am I ever not just a great friend?
If a man referred to me as a "girl" he would only say it once, unless he was very old and doddering and clearly of another era.
Or a native speaker of Old English. A girl is a young person, child, not a baby, of either sex. There is a power structure involved in using 'girl' or 'boy'. With ones friends it may be OK, but to strangers it can denote quite a bit of condescension. Unless you're a lot older, as teacake suggests. As for boy, I hope for your sake you're not white saying that to blacks in the US.
To me she's a girl :shrugs: She's 35 but she could easily pass for 25.
Like I said, I'm not expecting to hang out with her everyday (although with me moving within five minutes of her, that could be a possibility...and before anyone interjects, we've talked about this).
And I know I have a past with trying to hook up with any and all girls who throw a smile my way, so I don't blame some of you for jumping to that conclusion, but really, with this "woman" that is not the case. I look to her as a big sister.
Like I said, I'm not expecting to hang out with her everyday (although with me moving within five minutes of her, that could be a possibility...and before anyone interjects, we've talked about this).
And I know I have a past with trying to hook up with any and all girls who throw a smile my way, so I don't blame some of you for jumping to that conclusion, but really, with this "woman" that is not the case. I look to her as a big sister.
A 35 year old with 5 kids is not a girl. Maybe you just want her to be a girl because it sounds less intimidating than a woman. A woman has a bigger, busier life than a girl and can't hang out with you.
I call old women "girls", and young girls "ladies". Makes them both happy.
As for women of all other ages, well, they usually call me.
I find it annoying sometimes that (in my life) such friendships only occur through the filter of the wife, but I guess that's the usual dynamic. I vastly prefer women as friends but now and then I would like to socialize or chat with an attached male but am socially unable to do so without the wife being the conduit to the husband.
There we go, that's exactly why I enjoy having female friends who have boyfriends/husbands.
If you actually want to hang out with a friend every day and are seeing that as an ideal possibility that is just.. rather dependent.
My complaint is more about the fact that there are certain things she won't do because her boyfriend is insecure that a woman with perhaps a less insecure boyfriend would do. Having a drink with a friend is not the end of the world, and yes, it's not the end of the world that this particular friend of mine will never have a drink with me, it was just that at that instance when I thought of it it sounded like it would be something fun to do.
Hmm. I prefer socializing with my husband in general, and I'd rather have a drink with him than anyone else (if I did drink). If he wasn't feeling up to it or had work or something like that, I'd maybe have a drink with a guy friend. I'd have to be pretty comfortable with the guy though, and my husband would have to know him as well. It's not something I would do on a regular basis.
Also yes, it is sounding like what you want is a date.
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