Loving a Large Woman
- Thread starter CompCarp
- Start date
Well, he recovers, but it comes damn close.
It kind of reminds me of "I thought [insert racial group] people were all stupid, but I met a nice, smart one, so now I know I was wrong!" Gee...great.
It's great to expand your world, O.P., and I'm commending you for that. But I'd feel bad if I just said 'you're great' and left it at that.
The 'old you' is the kind of person that makes life difficult for people I love, and I have no patience for it. It frustrates me a lot and I have to say that.
BUT, I like to judge people in the present so please understand I'm not criticizing you or the post. It was actually great of you to write this thread. (Brave too.) I just feel that you've gotten enough compliments from everyone else, you should hear from the other side.
But thanks, anyway. I know I sound like a jerk, but I kind of feel I have to be. I'm actually glad you wrote this.
My only other option then is to pretend I was never wrong... and never pass on useful information after having experienced my wrongness first hand. That makes for a boring life - and does nothing to teach those coming up the path behind us.
Another "squishy" girl approves of the first post. 
No no, your correct option is what you did. That's the correct one: Admit your wrongs, explain your present, and take a small slap on the wrist while receiving 10 times as much praise.
I really felt the tiny slap was needed, but that having been said you deserve the praise everyone else is giving.
I'm not big on black and white / right and wrong. I feel you deserve 90% praise and 10% criticism. I'm done. It's over. Enjoy the good feeling of having done the right thing. When others say "good job" I'm right there with them.
My wife appearantly finished reading everything because she said and I quote, "You can tell everyone I approve this thread, or post or whatever". She also says you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. She's right! I love you honey!
...now get out of my forums so I can geek out with my posse. ;D
...now get out of my forums so I can geek out with my posse. ;D
My girlfriend is a very large woman(5'4, 250). For the sake of honesty I'll admit I am a very large man(5'10, 260) and for health reasons I need to lose weight more urgently than she does. There are both positives and negatives to a relationship with a large woman. I had the good fortune to fall in love with her before we ever met. We met on line and talked for 4 months before we met in person. Funny thing was it was not even a social hook-up, we met on a newsgroup of a shared interest of ours and originally she just wanted to ask me some questions about the subject. Almost the moment we started talking we hit it off. That was nine years ago. Our sex life is very satisfying. She has a very womanly figure for a big gal. Her weight is not in her waist and she is very busty with a 44DD. I know though that I would be more attracted to her the more weight she lost. Ironically I'm the one who wants her to be more open with her body, she likes to make love in the dark, and I am a guy that needs a visual stimulation. Both of us are not in denial, we know we both need to lose weight just for health and living reasons. My worries are more based in the fact that she is the only woman I have been with. I suffered from social anxiety deeply throughout my life and the romance department was hit hardest. I wonder what it would be like to be with a classically gorgeous woman. I have met my share of gorgeous nit-wits though I can easily see myself pining for my girl if we were ever broken up. I think that as long as you both are maintaining a healthy lifestyle the exact weight doesn't matter and the feel of a big girl under you is not to be overlooked.
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading that!
I really do very much prefer an athletic build. It's not even entirely the body-style, I just need a girl I'm dating to be as active as I am. I need a biking/running/hiking partner. Someone who values fitness and eating well (but also enjoys wine and cheese now and then!!). It's a matter of interests... and I think that's a very fair position to have without being superficial.
Having said that, I'm not judgmental and I would never freak out at my fiancee gaining a few points (or visa versa).
Having said that, I'm not judgmental and I would never freak out at my fiancee gaining a few points (or visa versa).
^agree, its a lot about lifestyle too. I've tried dating people that are lower energy or enjoy video games/laying around more than biking/hiking, etc and it hasn't worked.
If you're happy there are no probs, but I just want to point out something: being overweight is not an unalterable condition, I know from personal experience, as well as being a personal trainer. You don't have to settle for it. I'm working with a 370lb client and I don't expect him to stay there.
RAMA
RAMA
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Amaris
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Great thread, CompCarp! I love women. Tall, short, skinny, fat, any ethnicity and then some. I have always been a romantic at heart, and a beautiful woman is beautiful because of her soul, not the makeup she wears or the dresses she buys.
Years ago, I took a rather large woman out on a date. She was pleasant to talk with, very self conscious (I could tell. I can read people like a pop up book), dressed nicely and was self deprecating in her humor. Things would have gone swimmingly, had it not been for one thing: she was very stalkery. She knew who I was well before I knew who she was. She picked me out of a crowd of people without ever meeting me, lots of creepy tendencies too. So it had nothing to do with her weight (she was 400 lbs easy), and everything to do with her attitude.
Believe me, I've been betrayed by many women who would be considered "hawt" and "sexy". In high school I dated a cheerleader. She left me for someone with money. I dated a girl next door type, brown hair, brown eyes, cute smile, and she left me for a guy who wanted to "get it on" now, instead of waiting. I dated a lovely Korean girl who could have been a model, but she wanted someone young and immature, and I have always been the responsible type.
When it comes to looks, I do take into account things: Cleanliness, attitude and maturity. Cleanliness is the most important. Wash your hair and face, take showers, trim your nails, brush your teeth, use deodorant. These things are crucial. I take care of myself and expect someone who wishes to enter into a relationship with me to do the same.
Attitude is also important. Someone who is light hearted and willing to take things in life with good humor. A person who doesn't constantly put themselves down. If you don't think you're good enough for you, how can you possibly be good enough for me?
Maturity is a major point. I want to be with someone who is fun, but also knows how to bear responsibility. Someone who can accept that shit happens and deal with it in a reasonable and considerate manner. Intelligence plays a major part in this too.
I don't think that's too much to ask, because I give the same in return. So when it comes down to it; Large women? Small women? Thin, Thick, tall, short women? Love them all. As long as they are willing to love me, I can be happy and make that person happy.
J.
Years ago, I took a rather large woman out on a date. She was pleasant to talk with, very self conscious (I could tell. I can read people like a pop up book), dressed nicely and was self deprecating in her humor. Things would have gone swimmingly, had it not been for one thing: she was very stalkery. She knew who I was well before I knew who she was. She picked me out of a crowd of people without ever meeting me, lots of creepy tendencies too. So it had nothing to do with her weight (she was 400 lbs easy), and everything to do with her attitude.
Believe me, I've been betrayed by many women who would be considered "hawt" and "sexy". In high school I dated a cheerleader. She left me for someone with money. I dated a girl next door type, brown hair, brown eyes, cute smile, and she left me for a guy who wanted to "get it on" now, instead of waiting. I dated a lovely Korean girl who could have been a model, but she wanted someone young and immature, and I have always been the responsible type.
When it comes to looks, I do take into account things: Cleanliness, attitude and maturity. Cleanliness is the most important. Wash your hair and face, take showers, trim your nails, brush your teeth, use deodorant. These things are crucial. I take care of myself and expect someone who wishes to enter into a relationship with me to do the same.
Attitude is also important. Someone who is light hearted and willing to take things in life with good humor. A person who doesn't constantly put themselves down. If you don't think you're good enough for you, how can you possibly be good enough for me?
Maturity is a major point. I want to be with someone who is fun, but also knows how to bear responsibility. Someone who can accept that shit happens and deal with it in a reasonable and considerate manner. Intelligence plays a major part in this too.
I don't think that's too much to ask, because I give the same in return. So when it comes down to it; Large women? Small women? Thin, Thick, tall, short women? Love them all. As long as they are willing to love me, I can be happy and make that person happy.
J.
J..my ex-wife was a wonderful, cut,e slightly overweight girl when we got married..and over the period of 22 years she became very much like her aunt, a woman I found repulsive in mind and spirit.and yes it was her mind that decided that "I wasn't the man she married" just prior to serving the divorce papers...
I dated several women over the 2 years between marriages, all different body types,the thing that always has interested me is the personality with Odete (my new wife) I think I found a person that won't change herself or me... but I'll have to let you know in 20 years if it works out like I think it will..
I appreciate everyone's feedback! Now, I feel better about posting this rather embarrasing personal discovery. BUT, I wanted to hopefully encourage others to rethink potentially damaging, false misconceptions. It's all good!
Next, she'll have to create a thread on 'Loving a Geek'. I know she's got a lot of good things to write there! She's kinda giggly happy about that!
Next, she'll have to create a thread on 'Loving a Geek'. I know she's got a lot of good things to write there! She's kinda giggly happy about that!
It really comes down to whether or not you are physically attracted to this woman. If you aren't, no matter how much you enjoying talking to her or think she's funny or whatever, a relationship won't work without that attraction.
I enjoy exercise and being outdoors, and looked for that in women before I was married. That tended to rule out larger women in general.
I enjoy exercise and being outdoors, and looked for that in women before I was married. That tended to rule out larger women in general.
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