While I'm not volunteering, as I have my hands full with my own stuff ATM, I have to say I'm really intrigued by your idea of a TNG-ized TMP. That's something I would read.
Looking for a partner to write a fanfiction
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While I'm not volunteering, as I have my hands full with my own stuff ATM, I have to say I'm really intrigued by your idea of a TNG-ized TMP. That's something I would read.
I was thinking about something. Instead of Thomas Riker, why not make it Worf and the Defiant as the ship that Khan ends up getting hold of. We should give Khan a ship that is a little more special than just some random Federation vessel. Also image Worf being brain washed to help Khan. If you want you can even go the next step and have Worf kill himself like Captain Terrill did. I always felt that scene would have had even more drama if it had been Cheokov that pulls the trigger instead of the new guy.
Jason
Jason
Sounds good. How should we do that? Should we write a seperate plot outline and mixed them together or should we do it another way. I am new at this and since this is your idea I thought we could do it the way you prefer.
Jason
I started on creating a narrative for the story. We should combine both idea's we have and see which works.
The story opens with the Botany Bay floating through the void of space. We see Captain Picard and a suppport team of security officer's waiting inside the hanger bay of the Stargazer. They know who is in the statis chamber and there going to take precaustion. We can asume that a debate has already happened in which they decided to open the statis tubes and bring the people back into the world but they are still weary because it is Khan.
Picard greets Khan when he wakes up and we see Khan wants to rise up against the crew but the opportinuity simply isn't there and Picard infroms him he will be sent to a rehabilition faculity to get adjusted to this time frame and stand trial for his crimes.
We know cut to Khan,20 years later wearing white robes , living in a clean but strile facuility. We see Khan does not like this enviroment. We see him go to one of his thearpy sessions were he basically unveils his utter disjust he has for the 24th century and the Federation.
We then latr move onto his meeting with his people during a meal time. This will be the last time they can meet because there about to be shipped off to a starbase to stand trial on the Defiant. Worf watches over them as he talks to the facuility leader in the background. We find out Khan and his people have formulated a plan to take control of the defiant, once thy get aboard
Meanwhile Picard and the Enterprise are at the starbase, were Khan is to stand trial. Picard is suppose to take the stand since he was the captain who found him. Picard shows apprehension that Khan might go free because he recalls his intitial meeting and knows Khan is still a threat to humanity.
We then cut back to the Defiant. Using future tech in primtive ways, Khan and his people are able to overum the crew and take control of the ship. Worf is the last to be cpatured and we see Khan uses his genetically engineering to beat Worf in a fight. He orders one his people to take Worf to a room were Khan plans to brainwash him. He then orders the ship to go to the starbase were he was to stand trial. He plans on destroying the base and Picard as well, who he knows will be there waiting for him.
The story opens with the Botany Bay floating through the void of space. We see Captain Picard and a suppport team of security officer's waiting inside the hanger bay of the Stargazer. They know who is in the statis chamber and there going to take precaustion. We can asume that a debate has already happened in which they decided to open the statis tubes and bring the people back into the world but they are still weary because it is Khan.
Picard greets Khan when he wakes up and we see Khan wants to rise up against the crew but the opportinuity simply isn't there and Picard infroms him he will be sent to a rehabilition faculity to get adjusted to this time frame and stand trial for his crimes.
We know cut to Khan,20 years later wearing white robes , living in a clean but strile facuility. We see Khan does not like this enviroment. We see him go to one of his thearpy sessions were he basically unveils his utter disjust he has for the 24th century and the Federation.
We then latr move onto his meeting with his people during a meal time. This will be the last time they can meet because there about to be shipped off to a starbase to stand trial on the Defiant. Worf watches over them as he talks to the facuility leader in the background. We find out Khan and his people have formulated a plan to take control of the defiant, once thy get aboard
Meanwhile Picard and the Enterprise are at the starbase, were Khan is to stand trial. Picard is suppose to take the stand since he was the captain who found him. Picard shows apprehension that Khan might go free because he recalls his intitial meeting and knows Khan is still a threat to humanity.
We then cut back to the Defiant. Using future tech in primtive ways, Khan and his people are able to overum the crew and take control of the ship. Worf is the last to be cpatured and we see Khan uses his genetically engineering to beat Worf in a fight. He orders one his people to take Worf to a room were Khan plans to brainwash him. He then orders the ship to go to the starbase were he was to stand trial. He plans on destroying the base and Picard as well, who he knows will be there waiting for him.
We next see Worf being brainwashed using something you might see in the Mancurian Candiate. Khan basically uses Worf's klingon hertiage against him to gain control over him. The ship arrives in orbit and attacks a defenseless ENterprise. Riker is able to save the ship but not before Picard is beamed aboard Khan's ship as a prisoner and the starbase is destroyed.
We see Khan go and meet Picard. He wants Picard to be alive for his next plan. To watch him use the genesis device on earth. We find out Khan has made extensive use of the libary, when he was at the rehibilition facuility and he knows all about the device. He even knows that it's still top secret and located at Regula I, which is where Khan plans to go.
Meanwhile on the Enterprise Riker and crew are able to get the ship working and they set course after the Defiant, following it's ion trial.Riker and crew at this point think Picard is dead and we know that revenge is something on his mind as well. Data tries to understand the motive of revenge but can't graps it, even when it comes to Picard.
We see Khan go and meet Picard. He wants Picard to be alive for his next plan. To watch him use the genesis device on earth. We find out Khan has made extensive use of the libary, when he was at the rehibilition facuility and he knows all about the device. He even knows that it's still top secret and located at Regula I, which is where Khan plans to go.
Meanwhile on the Enterprise Riker and crew are able to get the ship working and they set course after the Defiant, following it's ion trial.Riker and crew at this point think Picard is dead and we know that revenge is something on his mind as well. Data tries to understand the motive of revenge but can't graps it, even when it comes to Picard.
We now cut to a Carol MArcus type of female leader who is in charge of Regula I. Worf comminucates with her to prepare the device for transport. Something is fishy about this, and find her ability to communicate with Starfleet is being blocked. She deceides to set a ambush and allow the Defiant crew to beam aboard.
Meanwhile Picard is able to escape his quarters,were he was being held by tricking one of the guards. Picard gets to a computer terminal to access info on where the ship is currently at. He is dispointed to find out the ship is already at Regula I. He shows concern for the Carol marcus's leader who we find out is someone Picard once had a romanci involvement with. He decides he has to escape and is able to steal a shuttlecraft.
We then cut to him landing inside the Regula I were he finds dead people. Reason he was able to escape was because Khan and most of his people weren't on the ship at the time. They are here on the station with him.
We then cut to Khan, very angry. He can't find the Genesis device anywhere on the station. Worf detects a additional lifesign and Khan knows instantly it is Picard. He orders Worf to stay behind and find the Genesis device and then kill Picard. Khan and his people beam back aboard the Defiant and cloak the ship.
Picard enocunters Worf and Worf tells him a story about being tortured. Picard suspects Worf has been through alot but never even suspects that Worf is working for Khan. He then informs him about the secret cavern in the planet only people with the rank of captain or above are even aware of. The beam inside the cavern were Picard is happy to see the Carol Marcus lady and the Genesis Device are safe.
Meanwhile Picard is able to escape his quarters,were he was being held by tricking one of the guards. Picard gets to a computer terminal to access info on where the ship is currently at. He is dispointed to find out the ship is already at Regula I. He shows concern for the Carol marcus's leader who we find out is someone Picard once had a romanci involvement with. He decides he has to escape and is able to steal a shuttlecraft.
We then cut to him landing inside the Regula I were he finds dead people. Reason he was able to escape was because Khan and most of his people weren't on the ship at the time. They are here on the station with him.
We then cut to Khan, very angry. He can't find the Genesis device anywhere on the station. Worf detects a additional lifesign and Khan knows instantly it is Picard. He orders Worf to stay behind and find the Genesis device and then kill Picard. Khan and his people beam back aboard the Defiant and cloak the ship.
Picard enocunters Worf and Worf tells him a story about being tortured. Picard suspects Worf has been through alot but never even suspects that Worf is working for Khan. He then informs him about the secret cavern in the planet only people with the rank of captain or above are even aware of. The beam inside the cavern were Picard is happy to see the Carol Marcus lady and the Genesis Device are safe.
Lore.
While in the cavern Worf turns his phaser on Picard and puts a locator becon on thr Genesis Device. He can't kill Picard though and turns his phaser on himself and shoots himself dead. Picard is comforted by Carol Marcus type female.
Enterprise enters orbit as the Defiant is leaving under-cloak. They detect lifesigns in the underground cavern and beam everyone up. Picard orders the ship to follow the Defiant and catch it before, they get to earth.
Back on the Defiant we see Khan working on the Genesis Device. We find out his plan is to create a new earth were he is basically God, since he would have created the new landscape of the planet with the device. The ship though is attacked by the Enterprise.
Picard wants the ship captured if possible but Khan turns the table and disables the Enterprise. Even diabled the Enterprise is able to fight back and the Defiant is damaged, severly in the attack. You basically have two wounded ships trying to kill each other.
Despite his efforts to fight the Enterprise, Khan knows he can't win. He tunrs the device on and orders the ship on a collusion course with the Enterprise.
The Enterprise can't move or escape the shockwave that will happen when the device goes off. Data tries to save the ship but it's to late. The Enterprise and Defiant is destroyed.
The End
Enterprise enters orbit as the Defiant is leaving under-cloak. They detect lifesigns in the underground cavern and beam everyone up. Picard orders the ship to follow the Defiant and catch it before, they get to earth.
Back on the Defiant we see Khan working on the Genesis Device. We find out his plan is to create a new earth were he is basically God, since he would have created the new landscape of the planet with the device. The ship though is attacked by the Enterprise.
Picard wants the ship captured if possible but Khan turns the table and disables the Enterprise. Even diabled the Enterprise is able to fight back and the Defiant is damaged, severly in the attack. You basically have two wounded ships trying to kill each other.
Despite his efforts to fight the Enterprise, Khan knows he can't win. He tunrs the device on and orders the ship on a collusion course with the Enterprise.
The Enterprise can't move or escape the shockwave that will happen when the device goes off. Data tries to save the ship but it's to late. The Enterprise and Defiant is destroyed.
The End
I had à Bit much to do the last few days...sorry for the Late answer. I like that outline over all. But I think we need à stronger reason for Kahn to want revange. Can we go back to Kahn and his people beeing marooned on à desolate planet? Mabye not because of something Picard did on purpose...but something he neglected to do?we could Write Picard with some guilt that Way.
I was thinking of ways to geet Khan stranded back on the planet and make Picard do something that would make Khan want revenge. What if Picard's ancestor did something to Khan that forced him out into space. Khan wants revenge on Picard,not so much because he has a beef with him but that he wants revenge on the Picard lineage.
Jason
Jason
One way to work around the Botany Bay issue is to steal a idea from that old show Earth2. Khan and his people wake up on their own and have to evacuate the ship before it gets destroyed. Khan knows nothing about the 24th century. All he knows is that he wants revenge on the Picard family and a chance to control earth again, which he see's the Genesis device as the means of creating earth all over from the start. Not only that but advances in technolgy have made it possible to create whatever evoultionary path you wish for while using the device. You can program it to create a new earth that will create humans like Khan from start instead of the more basic form of humans that currently live on the planet.
Jason
Jason
Sounds great. I like that.
I thought I would try another outline and see what you think.
The story opens from the POV of Picard's ancestor who is in charge of a special task force that is all about arresting people like Kahn and Cornell Green so they can be brought to justice in front of the United Nations. Picard and his team is searching through a compond of Khan's and find a lauching pad, from which the Botany Bay has already lauched.
A member of his team finds a automated message left behind and brings Picard inside the compound to see it. Khan has left behind video message for Picard to see. In the video he swears revenge on the Picard family and vows to return to earth someday and rule it.
The story then cuts to the 24th century were we see the insides of the Botany bay both coming to life but also fallen apart as the ship shakes. Khan and his people wake from their centuries slumber to a crisis. The ship is entering the atmosphere of a planet with no sentient life on it. It's a jungle planet and we see Khan take controls of the ship. He can't stop the ship from crashing but he is able to save everyone's life with his piloting skills.
I will do the rest a little bit later. That is what I got so far.
The story opens from the POV of Picard's ancestor who is in charge of a special task force that is all about arresting people like Kahn and Cornell Green so they can be brought to justice in front of the United Nations. Picard and his team is searching through a compond of Khan's and find a lauching pad, from which the Botany Bay has already lauched.
A member of his team finds a automated message left behind and brings Picard inside the compound to see it. Khan has left behind video message for Picard to see. In the video he swears revenge on the Picard family and vows to return to earth someday and rule it.
The story then cuts to the 24th century were we see the insides of the Botany bay both coming to life but also fallen apart as the ship shakes. Khan and his people wake from their centuries slumber to a crisis. The ship is entering the atmosphere of a planet with no sentient life on it. It's a jungle planet and we see Khan take controls of the ship. He can't stop the ship from crashing but he is able to save everyone's life with his piloting skills.
I will do the rest a little bit later. That is what I got so far.
Meanwhile on the Enterprise the ship is somewhat festive. Picard has decided to accept a promotion, in part because he was guarnteed by the upper brass that Riker would get the Enterprise. Picard is starting to feel old and he wanted to make sure the Enterprise would be in good hands when he could no longer do the job. Picard insists on celebrating the changing of the guard since he see's Riker being made captain as a good thing.
Meanwhile we see Data is also contemplating his new role as first officer. He is thinking about removing the emotion chip because he feels he is a better officer when he doesn't have emotions. Geordi insists on Data to not give up on his emotions, just yet.
The celebration is interupted though when a message from Starfleet command comes in. The ship is to go to Regula I space station. A very old David Marcus(now in charge of the project,and not dead in this reality) has made a amazing breakthrough with the genesis device. He has figured out, in part by accdient that the device can be modifed to create life that will follow whatever evoultionary path you wish it to do.
Starfleet wants the device consficated and destroyed for poltical reasons because such a device would be seen as a huge threat by their enemies. Before the ship leaves though they finish the command transfer. Riker is now captain of the ship, though Picard is in command of the mission.
Meanwhile we see Data is also contemplating his new role as first officer. He is thinking about removing the emotion chip because he feels he is a better officer when he doesn't have emotions. Geordi insists on Data to not give up on his emotions, just yet.
The celebration is interupted though when a message from Starfleet command comes in. The ship is to go to Regula I space station. A very old David Marcus(now in charge of the project,and not dead in this reality) has made a amazing breakthrough with the genesis device. He has figured out, in part by accdient that the device can be modifed to create life that will follow whatever evoultionary path you wish it to do.
Starfleet wants the device consficated and destroyed for poltical reasons because such a device would be seen as a huge threat by their enemies. Before the ship leaves though they finish the command transfer. Riker is now captain of the ship, though Picard is in command of the mission.
I just realized we should proably see David Marcus's POV from the point were he and his team discover the new abilities that the Genesis Device has and sort of show how they made these advancements in how the device use to work. People might be confused if we don't explain why these new advancements only enhance the dangerous nature of the device. The ability to not just kill people and terafrom a planet but to actually create life in any form you wish is a very dangerous idea. A race could kill everyone on a planet and make sure the planet evolves to fit there every need to a point of creating life that will look at you as a God. Should have added this moment in between the Botany Bay crash and the changing of command ceremonial on the Enterprise.
The story now moves onto the Defiant. Worf is in command and O'Brien is aboard the ship as well. They are returning to Ds9 when there long range sensors pick up on human life signs from a nearby planet. The Defiant moves towards the planet to investigate. They beam down into a primitve Wookie style village filled with aging humans. In the middle of the village they see the wrecked Botany Bay. Khan lies to Worf about who he is. He wants to get aboard the ship and Worf has everyone beamed up on the asumption that Khan and his people are harmless.
Meanwhile the Enterprise arrives at Regula I and we see Picard,and Riker beam over to the station to talk to David Marcus. Marcus is angered that starfleet would destroy his work. He feels like the Genesis device is still a good thing and is worried about how this new ability will set back teraforming for decades.
Meanwhile on the ship Data turns on his emotion chip and experiences what it's like to be in command(while Picard and Riker are off ship) and have emotions. He feels the burden of command.
Meanwhile the Enterprise arrives at Regula I and we see Picard,and Riker beam over to the station to talk to David Marcus. Marcus is angered that starfleet would destroy his work. He feels like the Genesis device is still a good thing and is worried about how this new ability will set back teraforming for decades.
Meanwhile on the ship Data turns on his emotion chip and experiences what it's like to be in command(while Picard and Riker are off ship) and have emotions. He feels the burden of command.
We cut back to the Defiant and we see Khan and his people adjusting to life aboard the ship as guests. They have picked up on 24th century quite quickly due to how smart and adaptive they are. Khan looks up the Picard name and finds a link between the ancestor he knew and Jean Luc Picard. He knows his next step is to take control of the ship and go after Picard for his revenge.
back at Regula 1 we see David Marcus make one more plea to Picard and starfleet command(via subspace) to not destroy it. Picard makes the suggesting that the device and David Marcus come back to earth with them so he can address the Federation council in person in hopes of finding a poltical means of keeping the device from being destroyed.
Back on the Defiant we see Khan and his people overtake the crew. O'Brien is killed in the attack and Worf is the last to go down but he is eventually captured, Khan kills everyone on the ship but Worf. He needs his help in locating Picard and since he knows from studing the database that Worf and Picard has a history he figures he can use that to his advantage.
We next see Khan torture and brainwash Worf into being submissive to his will. Khan has to do a form of torture that is harsher than most to breakthrough Worf's kligon heritage. He replicates a klingon brainshfiter and uses it on Worf until he bends to his will.
Back on the Enterprise the ship is in route to earth. Data is curious about the Genesis Device and is allowed to study it some on his own with the help of David Marcus. Data is curious if the device could be used to create robotic life. Data and marcus bond over their intrest in the device. There basically the only two people who feels the good the device can do outweights the dangers it presents.
back at Regula 1 we see David Marcus make one more plea to Picard and starfleet command(via subspace) to not destroy it. Picard makes the suggesting that the device and David Marcus come back to earth with them so he can address the Federation council in person in hopes of finding a poltical means of keeping the device from being destroyed.
Back on the Defiant we see Khan and his people overtake the crew. O'Brien is killed in the attack and Worf is the last to go down but he is eventually captured, Khan kills everyone on the ship but Worf. He needs his help in locating Picard and since he knows from studing the database that Worf and Picard has a history he figures he can use that to his advantage.
We next see Khan torture and brainwash Worf into being submissive to his will. Khan has to do a form of torture that is harsher than most to breakthrough Worf's kligon heritage. He replicates a klingon brainshfiter and uses it on Worf until he bends to his will.
Back on the Enterprise the ship is in route to earth. Data is curious about the Genesis Device and is allowed to study it some on his own with the help of David Marcus. Data is curious if the device could be used to create robotic life. Data and marcus bond over their intrest in the device. There basically the only two people who feels the good the device can do outweights the dangers it presents.
