Klingons on Steroids

[SpockyD]

There's no way Worf got that big naturally. Look at the older Klingons. They were smaller and average and hadn't pushed the limits of Klingon DNA.

Worf and his whole generation had no honor in taking steroids to gain a size advantage against enemies.

You can tell because they have teh 'roid heads that Kingons get when they start juicing.

I'm calling BS on Worf. How come they din't have regular testing for officers on teh Bridge?

Riker tried, but his lazy ass just got fat on teh roidz.

 

[DBKlingon]

There's no way Worf got that big naturally. Look at the older Klingons. They were smaller and average and hadn't pushed the limits of Klingon DNA.

Worf and his whole generation had no honor in taking steroids to gain a size advantage against enemies.

You can tell because they have teh 'roid heads that Kingons get when they start juicing.

I'm calling BS on Worf. How come they din't have regular testing for officers on teh Bridge?

Riker tried, but his lazy ass just got fat on teh roidz.

Come on! You think every Klingon who looks big just got that way because of teh 'roidz. Good genetics and hard work have way more to do with it than teh 'roidz. I guess when the entire intergalactic universe thinks guys like Kirk or Wes Crusher look jacked then they automatically think a Klingon like Worf must be on teh 'roidz to get that big.

Put down the pink dumbbells and stop lifting in gravity-aided Vulcan systems or in zero-gravity vapor locks and you might know what it takes to get that big too!

It's like what Geordi La Forge told me at a convention once: E'rbody wana get big, but ain't no one wanna lift no heavy-ass weight!"

 

[MikeS]

Are you two a double-act?

 

[DBKlingon]

Are you two a double-act?

A double-act? What is that?

No, I just lift a lot of weights between episodes and conventions so when I hear some lamebrain Vulcan wannabe start talking smack about Worf, who clearly got his physique through hard work and a good diet, it sets me off. I am hyooooog bro, but I didn't get that way from teh 'roidz; I got that way through dedication. So it angers me when I here people even insinuate that the only way to get big is with teh 'roidz.

 

[MikeS]

The only 'roidz I got, you don't want to know about, man.

 

[DBKlingon]

The only 'roidz I got, you don't want to know about, man.

Oh yeah, I got those 'roidz too. It happens from squatting ass-to-grass too much and using too much toilet paper. Plus, I get some Klingons stuck in my anus that chaffe things down there a little. I got a handheld bidet to attach to the angle-stop valve under my toilet that works great, unless the Starship goes into Vulcan gravitational fields. Then things get kinda messy......

 

[Brother Klingon]

The only 'roidz I got, you don't want to know about, man.

Oh yeah, I got those 'roidz too. It happens from squatting ass-to-grass too much and using too much toilet paper. Plus, I get some Klingons stuck in my anus that chaffe things down there a little. I got a handheld bidet to attach to the angle-stop valve under my toilet that works great, unless the Starship goes into Vulcan gravitational fields. Then things get kinda messy......

I like knowing that when I go to take a dump I have a very good chance of getting a lat cramp when I go to wipe. This will always lead to the "quick" wipe and a dirty ass.

Jim, my friend, has always suggested the use of baby wipes to finish the job, but let’s face it, do you really want to risk the lat cramp again? I'd much rather hit the shower to finish the job. Hint: You'll need to get one of those detachable showerheads so you can get the direct line of fire.

If all else fails, you can ask your sweetheart to help finish the job. To do this you need to lie on your back and lift your legs up and back as far as you can. This will give her a perfect view to get the job done.

Okay, I know I crossed the line with that one, but I do know of at least three trekees who take care of hygiene this way. They call this "assuming the position."

 

[Holdfast]

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