I think for certain fans the suspension of disbelief was broken merely because of how different ST09 felt in style and characterization. Seeing Kirk act more like a frat boy is probably a step too far for some, so from that point on there's a strong unwillingness to engage with the film on its own merits because they don't like those merits.
Where the film really lost me was at the ending when Kirk and crew smirk as they fire on a defenseless Nero, "you've got it", especially coming off of Spock not agreeing with Kirk's offer of help. At least to me, that's the antithesis of what Trek is about. Contrast that to something like Kruge trying to drag Kirk off the ledge with him, and Kirk has to kick him off. At least in that moment with Kirk there's that sense of frustration and regret that things had to end that way. James Bond can get away with smiling at a terrorist accidentally blowing himself up, but I wouldn't buy it from any version of Kirk because that's not what I want out of Star Trek.