^^ Okayyyyy.
Time to get back to the matters at hand.
ORANGE is the New Black!
Episode #6 WAC Pack.
How many guys out there actually went to the internet after this ep to see if there really was a website called
Prisonpoon.com ???
(I haven't checked because I really wanted to use this joke as an opener.
)
Did you notice how "crap" really does roll downhill in this ep?
The assistant warden craps on Caputo, the guy that makes less than 40,000 a year.
Caputo craps on the CO's in one on one sessions and "Samantha" Healy.
Healy craps on Piper and the rest of the inmates.
How so?
He sets up a fake election and shoehorns his own choices everywhere except among the black inmates, making several people feel like losers who weren't. And as for Piper? We did all notice the
blatant sexual harassment, right? Not "just" the private "shut the door" 1 on 1 session Healy had when he tried to convince her to run so they could "work together"... but with the sexually graphic photo left out on the desk for her to see. The SAME photo we saw him hide under a pile of papers when Taystee barged into his office.
Things I really liked in this ep began with Piper and her mother's visit. I loved it when she told her mom, in no uncertain terms, that she was responsible for her own bad choices and the consequences of same. Of course I guffawed at the supercilious mother who claimed no jury would have convicted her because she was a "debutant".
La de dah!
Did you notice Piper was putting her shirt back on after leaving the visitation room? Remember what they said in a previous ep... that you have to submit to a strip search after every visit!
The conversation between Nicky and Piper outside the visitation window started out very sweet.
"You look like her."
Piper prefers to think she was adopted and doesn't think much about Nicky calling her out for being ungrateful for the visit. Nicky hasn't had one from her mother in over 4 months. Piper probably felt pretty righteous in her anger over mom's shitty visit, but Nicky had the winning response when she leaned into Piper's shirt to sniff it.
"Your shit smells like Shalimar... she left it on you when she hugged you goodbye."
Speaking of choices, we saw a lot of bad ones & consequences of same in this ep.
1st, lets start with one of my fav convicts... Nicky. Loved watching her wake up in the ICU with her mother at her side. You want to laugh at Nicky, the way we laugh at well to do Piper, for making such bad choices in her life but when we hear how she grew up... we just want to cry. Her mother lived in a neighboring apartment with her lover who didn't want to be exposed to kid germs, while Nicky grew up with a nanny... and
employee as a full time care giver.
HEY... at least she HAD a caregiver right? Sure, but then why does Nicky still mourn for what she never had as she lays in her hospital bed?
"I always miss you... until you are here."
And why does she still try to impress her mother with promises to keep clean "this time"?
"I want you to do mom things... give me sips of water... hug me?"
GOD! 
Later, when Nicky confronts
Red in the kitchen about why Red didn't put Nicky up for the WAC pack, she looked so small, so uncertain. Not the woman who's been wisecracking through the last 5 eps, who's been counseling drug lord Alex, who's been mentoring clueless Piper, who survived a week in the SHU just before Piper entered Litchfield. All Mama Red gave her was she picked Morello instead because she's pretty and does what Red tells her to do including keeping her mouth from flapping too much.
Unfortunately for Nicky, she immediately got an A-1 demonstration on how to keep your mouth
shut when Pornstache came into the kitchen to terrorize Red and demand help in finding a missing cell phone.
I love Nicky... and I love this relationship with Red. I really loved how they segued into the last flashback with Alex wondering why Nicky puts up with Red.
Red is carrying an orange jump-suited Nicki out of the bathroom stall. The kid is going through with-drawl and Red has sent silent Norma for mouthwash to clear the taste of vomit from the kid's tongue.
Red is holding Nicky up against the counter, telling her she has to hit bottom before she can find her way... and she "welcomes" Nicky to the floor.
Then our Russian grabs Nicky's face between her two hands and WARNS her to REMEMBER how bad she feels "right now"... because if Nicky EVER uses again... Red will make her feel WORSE than she's
ever felt.
Then Mama Janeway... er
... I mean
Mama Red does the one thing Nicky needs the most.
She hugs her.
Hugs her like a
full blooded Klingon would hug her half-breed daughter in Grethor.
I love these two!
There's two other people I loved in this ep.
I loved distant past Polly & Piper... as Polly took a dislike to Alex, and wasn't afraid to say why.
"She's an asshole!"
I loved the banter between these two in their distant past. Polly threatening to not be there for Piper when Alex broke Piper's heart... and young Piper scoffing because she KNOWS her best friend would
never abandon Piper, because Polly loves her.
This
same "best friend" who in the present has been ducking Piper's calls from prison for the last week, ever since Piper left Polly high and dry so she could chase a freaking CHICKEN!
We watch Piper get scolded by her mother for not apologizing to Polly "yet, we watch Piper defend herself by claiming she's tried, we see Piper make one such call and get the freaking voice mail...
So when Piper FINALLY gets through, gets through to talk to her "best friend" in the whole world and is reassured she is STILL loved as long as they don't talk about chickens or Barney's... then everything is suddenly all right with the world! Polly really stepped up this week.
Speaking of all the things I "loved"... I loved it when Piper hung up the phone and started crying... and the inmate that's always on the next phone crying hands her a Kleenex.
Earlier in the season we saw Daya and all her siblings visit their orange suited mother in jail. All SHE can talk about, that day, was the lover she left behind and whether he was shagging someone else already. Daya got upset because mom didn't want to talk to her own kids about THEIR lives, despite the 3 hour bus trip they went through to visit her.
Well what goes around comes around. Cesar along with (?) his Mother OR (?) her Mother are visiting Aleida in prison/modern day. He asks if she got her money transfer, then they both seem more interested in Daya's whereabouts/well being than Aleida's... which pisses her off to no end.
Aleida doesn't bother to tell Cesar that Daya is avoiding the visitation room because she's mad. Daya hit her in the prison yard today because Aleida tried to copulate with the daughter's CO boyfriend.
Speaking of bad choices, after being warned by Caputo to avoid improper relations with any inmate... "improper" being as simple as smiling at the wrong time... Bennett waits in the utility room for Daya and ends up with his own blow job. (Mendez had one several eps back in the same closet. Do you think they put in a request ahead of time to avoid traffic jams?)
Remember the bad choice Larry made last ep? He lied to Piper and told her that Alex did NOT turn her into the Feds.
He asked after her during his solo visit to Piper, and Piper seemed subdued as she reassured him it wasn't a problem since Alex ignored Piper.
During her phone conversation with Polly later, Piper admitted she felt like she should apologize to Alex (for thinking the worst of her) and then should go on tour apologizing to everyone she's ever wronged. (Wasn't that a TV show a few years ago... "My Name is Earl"?)
You can see how Piper is starting to gravitate towards her old lover... looking at her more, trying to think of ways to interact... finally saying "Hey" and getting the cold shoulder.
So "high school",
and yet?
Oh, we had the election... Healy rigged it but Red and Morello not to mention Pennstucky don't know that as they all glare at Piper before the screen goes to Orange.
One wonders how many peppers Piper will need to chew before she's allowed to eat in the dining room again?
