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July Challenge: Sniper:Dead Man Walking

captcalhoun

Admiral
Admiral
sniper.jpg

Sniper: Dead Man Walking​

You see her. You know you are dead. She can see you from hundreds of metres away. Her reach is god-like. The fact she is with you is no coincidence. You, a Vorta administrator for the Dominion, are no soldier. She is a trained killer. You’ve read her dossier. You know her background. She has slain dozens of enemies of the Federation that rules this quadrant. Talarians, when she’d barely graduated. Cardassians in their last war with the Federation. Klingons in the war the Founders engineered between the allies. Pirates, criminals, Jem’hadar soldiers. Now, it’s your turn.​

If she is facing you, it can only be for one reason. She wants you to know who is about to end your existence as Vorta administrator Keelan 7.​

You have successfully overseen this occupation of the backwater world of Hadra VIII for over ten months. Now, you know you’re dead. You may be upright and walking, but that is a state of affairs that will not continue for long.​

You knew something bad was happening when the first soldier died, his head exploding for no apparent reason. The entire twenty-man squad died in the space of five minutes with no clue as to how they were dying or even who their enemy was.​

The First was the last to die. Last except you of course.​

Now, she has revealed herself. A smile curves her lips. You can’t decide which Human emotion it is that causes the smile. Happiness? Satisfaction? Some other alien emotion you cannot comprehend?​

She arrived through the window of your home in a shower of exploding glass. You see the TR-116 rifle slung over her shoulder. Realisation dawns. That agent inside Starfleet Intel had provided information on the projectile weapon and its micro-transporter add-on. She wears the accompanying exographic targeting sensor. You could’ve been dead minutes ago.​

For some reason, you realise, she is torturing you.​

“Why?” you ask.

“Why do you think?” she replied. She draws her sidearm phaser.

“Please,” you beg. “Don’t…”

Her grin broadens. “Too late."

There is a flash of gold light. You’re dead before your corpse hits the floor.

Bobbi March will return...
 
Tight. Real tight. And it is what they asked for...you actually have the easiest approach to this format-the Sniper begs for this POV. Good Job.
 
Yes, well done and very good use of the 2nd person narrative here.

A bit cold-blooded though. Which I guess shouldn't be a surprise considering your heroine.
 
well, she has mellowed since her early post-graduation phase, but she does, occassionally, regress... much as anyone's maturity and adult character can...
 
Short, sharp, shocking!

Nice one!

I must be still asleep though as I can't believe I had to re read The First was the last to die before it made sense (my mistake not yours!) :lol:
 
As I've said on other posts, it's great that there are new characters being created for this.

The second person seems to be quite Noirish for some reason.:rommie:

Good entry.
 
Very nice. :techman:

I've got no criticisms at all - it's immediately clear who "I" am, and it's a good creation of a Vorta, the action's real and the end's a treat - I love the after-action report feeling of "You're dead before your corpse hits the floor" - the Vorta version of St Peter at the pearly gates!
 
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