Jesus Christ.. Roadkill on the highway to heaven

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Bloodwhiner, May 7, 2010.

  1. Bloodwhiner

    Bloodwhiner Commodore Commodore

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    http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/05/lord_jesus_christ_suffers_mino.html

    Lord Jesus Christ suffers minor injuries in downtown Northampton crosswalk mishap
    By Patrick Johnson, The Republican
    May 06, 2010, 5:07PM
    NORTHAMPTON - A 20-year-old Pittsfield driver was cited by police Tuesday after she ran down Lord Jesus Christ in a marked crosswalk at Main Street and Strong Avenue, police said.

    Brittany E. Cantarella was cited for a crosswalk violation, said Northampton police Capt. Scott Savino.

    Christ, 50, of Belchertown, was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital for treatment of minor injuries following the 3:30 p.m. accident. He was treated at the hospital and then released.

    Cantarella was making a left turn from Strong Avenue onto Main Street when her car, a 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, struck Christ.

    Christ was in a marked crosswalk at the time of the accident, Savino said.

    Savino said officers checked Christ’s identification at the scene and confirmed it was his legal name.
     
  2. Bloodwhiner

    Bloodwhiner Commodore Commodore

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    oh and the alternate subject heading --- "Please God, don't let him die."
     
  3. cardinal biggles

    cardinal biggles Patron Saint of Dangerous Driving Premium Member

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    Best. Name change. EVER.
     
  4. ShamelessMcBundy

    ShamelessMcBundy Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    "Where's your Messiah now?!"
     
  5. RJDiogenes

    RJDiogenes Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion Premium Member

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    Good thing he wasn't killed again. Christians would have to start wearing Chevys around their necks.
     
  6. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    But of course.
     
  7. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    :lol: :guffaw: :lol:
     
  8. Kira's Mom

    Kira's Mom Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Ouch! :guffaw:
     
  9. auntiehill

    auntiehill The Blooness Premium Member

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    ^ :guffaw::guffaw:

    I can see it now....

    Lady jumps out of her car; "Oh Lord!"

    "That's me. Now get me an ambulance."
     
  10. tkron

    tkron Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    *Snicker* Lord have mercy...
     
  11. RJDiogenes

    RJDiogenes Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion Premium Member

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    On the plus side, anybody driving a Chevy would be safe from Vampires. :hugegrin:
     
  12. Bloodwhiner

    Bloodwhiner Commodore Commodore

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    I really wish he could have been taken to a Catholic Hospital, just to see what the nuns would do when it came to sponge bath time.
     
  13. ShamelessMcBundy

    ShamelessMcBundy Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Jesus saves ... GM.
     
  14. Asbo Zaprudder

    Asbo Zaprudder Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Indeterminate
    Was he moving in a mysterious way?
     
  15. Capn Flukie

    Capn Flukie Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Cross walk. Heh.
     
  16. ShamelessMcBundy

    ShamelessMcBundy Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ZING! You sir win one internet!
     
  17. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    How do you know it isn't the name on his birth certificate?
     
  18. Bloodwhiner

    Bloodwhiner Commodore Commodore

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    If she had killed him, would they have to wait three days to declare him dead?