Ridiculous human custom. Here's the deal - if you delete your birthday, you have permission to enjoy the hell out of 1 day a year, any day, of your choosing.
I tend to get depressed on my birthday, thinking back on all the fuckups I've committed over the last 60-odd years, which is why I always preferred to take the day off. It's not been as bad since moving to a different time zone 23 years ago, since now I usually miss the exact hour (8:13pm Central Standard Time) until after it's passed.
Maybe it would be a good idea to do something unexpected, like make your own potato chips or something. You could fry them in butter or whatever you like. Then you sing: "It's my Parkay, and I'll fry if I want to".
It's human nature to dwell on the bad stuff on birthdays, but try to remember we operate with incomplete knowledge in an imperfect world. You do the best you can and deserve to give yourself a little slack.
It's human nature to dwell on our fuckups. i think the trick is to learn to forgive yourself for making them and to realize that they were learning experiences and you will never make that mistake again. I know it's difficult (Hell, it took me soo many years that eventually i forgot i was doing it), but when the negative thoughts get to you, focus on positive changes in your life, or little things that you did right, or something you enjoy. My point is, if you always choose to look at things in a negative light, you will always be negative. If you always choose to look at the positive things in life, you will be positive. I'm a great example of this. I used to hate life. At one point I was close to suicide. But, through a hell of a lot of HARD work, a lot of setbacks, and a few years of trying, I turned it around. In recent years, I have had people corner me on my gloomy days and ask me "What the fuck is wrong? You're always grasping onto the one small silver lining in whatever goes on in your life. So, when you are gloomy, I know something is dreadfully wrong."
I've never come close to considering suicide. My brother came close to it once, when his first wife left him, but he managed to get through it. Part of the problem I go through now is I have no close friends or relatives, and I've mostly lived alone since 1978. Significantly, this is the time of year when I always begin brooding about it. Holiday season is always difficult for me until after my birthday passes in January. The last time I attended a Christmas party was about 8 or 10 years ago and all the merriment and glad tidings had me in tears and I had to leave the room. After a leg injury in 1990 that requires using a cane, and a stroke 10 years ago, there hasn't been much to be joyful about. There's disability money coming in as the sole income, but it doesn't leave much left for luxuries anymore, like going to a simple sit down restaurant for bacon and eggs. Though earlier this year, I did get the complete Enterprise series and was able to see all of it for the first time. Still, the alternative to birthdays is much worse. At 62, at least I've still got my hair, it's mostly the original color, and there are no bald spots, so that's something. The only explanation I can come up with for that is it must be because I never had any kids. Captain Ice, is that an Arizona Diamondbacks logo?
Turning 30 was pretty rough for me. I was getting divorced and I felt like I had never been further from having a family and career. There's not much to do besides move forward though, and I'm lucky to have really good friends and family. Even though I was on the other side of the country from most of my close friends, I had a couple friends in CA that really stepped up to the plate for me. And I came home for a weekend and every single friend that I invited came out to celebrate my birthday. It's not like problems just go away, but having the right people around can make it easier to continue working toward something better.
I actually handle birthdays better than I used to. Turning 35 was really rough for me. Forty was nothing, even though I'd had the leg injury 6 months earlier, and had just gotten laid off 2 weeks earlier. Fifty didn't bother me at all. Hitting 60 though, was really a downer. I asked because I'm in Phoenix, and thought I recognized it. I've only seen the stadium from the outside though, my eyes are too bad to go to a game.
I always miss mine -I was born at 10:20 pm and usually am fast asleep by that time What is the point of looking back to and reliving all the mistakes you made? Learn from them, forget them and boldly go where noone has gone before: into your next year! No need to carry around with you all that ballast. Throw it overboard and enjoy life! It's far too short to not enjoy it! And "I don't have the time" is no valid point. Nobody gives you the time you need. You'll have to just take it.