I'm just saying the Federation is typically portrayed as a society not forged, driven or defined by war.
There is a belief among some fans that the Federation is a direct result of the Romulan war, that one lead to the other (although the exact sequence of events is unclear), and that without the Romulan War the initial stimulus to form the Federation would have been lacking.
The Federation was forged in war.
From the history of the Federation, especial what we learned in TNG, war and warfare are a constant. Protracted conflicts, border wars, Starfleet's responsibility to act as the Federation's protectors is an on-going task.
Civic holidays devoted to war are typically features of societies that -- even if they are currently relatively peaceable or non-militaristic -- have a historical identity strongly tied-up with war.
Holidays such as Veterans Day and Memorial Day (different names in different countries), are acknowledgements and expressions of gratitude to military personnel (past and present) who either served or sacrificed their life's in the defense of others within their societies.
Given that the new Trek movies also seem to contend that Starfleet is not a military* ...
If you take the twelve movies as a group, they show Starfleet as the Federation's military. The beginning of TWoK with Starfleet cadets engaging in a combat simulation, and the beginning of FC with the fleet battling the Borg, show Starfleet in a military role. ST: Eleven also had cadets in a combat simulator, in ST: Darkness when a ship was needed to fire torpedoes on the Klingon homeworld, a Starfleet ship was sent.
... and the Federation is not supposed to be militaristic by inclination
But the Federation is repeatedly shown to be willing to employ violence as a means of protection.