I'm just saying the Federation is typically portrayed as a society not forged, driven or defined by war.
There is a belief among some fans that the Federation is a direct result of the Romulan war, that one lead to the other (although the exact sequence of events is unclear)
And it's an interesting theory that I personally quite like. But it's speculative in canon terms. (And who knows how ENT fits into everything, since its Temporal Cold War effectively makes it an alternate reality.) About all we really know is that first contact inspired humanity to Stop Sucking and Become Awesome and go out and form the Federation.
From the history of the Federation, especial what we learned in TNG, war and warfare are a constant.
Bad example, because we're also hit over the head like a sledgehammer by that series that none of these wars define the Federation's civic identity, which consists of being utopian and chilling out in paradise and chasing your dreams and stuff. (Which, not that that makes huuuuge amounts of sense given the amount of war apparently going on, but it is what they constantly tell us, particularly through the mouth of Picard.)
Holidays such as Veterans Day and Memorial Day (different names in different countries), are acknowledgements and expressions of gratitude to military personnel (past and present) who either served or sacrificed their life's in the defense of others within their societies.
In war.
Other situations might be tacitly included, but at least here in Canuckistan nobody dances around the main point of the occasion with euphemistic phrases. It's about
war dead: the First and Second World Wars, Korea, Afghanistan.
If you take the twelve movies as a group, they show Starfleet as the Federation's military.
The whole of Trek shows Starfleet as the Navy in space. That's the main conceit of the entire franchise. Nevertheless, we are constantly told that despite looking and acting like a military, it is distinct from a military.
(Originally in TOS the idea was that Starfleet should be military, but not so much so that the civilian viewership would find it off-putting. Personally I think later writers got confused about this and that the "Starfleet is not a military" conceit is one of the bad ideas of the Berman era. But we're stuck with it.)
But the Federation is repeatedly shown to be willing to employ violence as a means of protection.
Only when all else has failed. And TNG-era Trek especially was quite serious about the "all else." Yes, probably because it saved on the effects budget, but still.