Is there anything you regret NOT doing?

[Danoz]

No regrets, just curiosity about where I would be if I had "taken another path." Of course, that's more fun, butterfly effect thinking than it is regretful. I'm happy with who I am at this very moment, and I had a made a different decision somewhere along that long I might not be where I am today-- that's enough for me to see every puzzle piece, no more how dirty, as part of the larger and incomplete picture (thank you captain Picard).

 

[Bob The Skutter]

No regrets, just curiosity about where I would be if I had "taken another path." Of course, that's more fun, butterfly effect thinking than it is regretful. I'm happy with who I am at this very moment, and I had a made a different decision somewhere along that long I might not be where I am today-- that's enough for me to see every puzzle piece, no more how dirty, as part of the larger and incomplete picture (thank you captain Picard).

I'd agree, my 2 "regrets" aren't really things that I am bothered about. The first one about the girl is just wishing I had the guts, then or now. The second is about being stupid and throwing away a load of money. Thing is, if I had done either of those things, I think I may very well be in a worse place in my life now.

 

[Amaris]

Again, why worry about it? Doing so changes nothing.

Because at least with worry, I have some control over a situation where I have no control.

Wow, you read my mind.

I have so many regrets I can't even begin to list them. Or think about them.

My deepest regret is that I can't go back to 1970 and relive my life knowing what I know now. That would be heaven, wouldn't it?

Yeah. I could change the world if 1993 were within reach again. I was 13, and at the time, I was naive enough to believe I had a positive future ahead of me.

J.

 

[Australis]

While Mr Skutter is right in some ways, the main thing about that kind of regret is not so much what you'd change without, as what you'd change within.

That said, these days I try not to pine over what I can't change, and move forward. It really is the only way to better oneself. Mourning all those mistakes, a past you can't change, and dwelling on it day after day, can end up paralysing you, is no way to live.

It's just... deaths could have been turned aside with that knowledge, even if it was knowledge of oneself. The better informed person would have handled situations better, if you see what I mean.

But as I said, moving forward. Look back too long and the regrets will kill you.

 

[Amaris]

While Mr Skutter is right in some ways, the main thing about that kind of regret is not so much what you'd change without, as what you'd change within.

That said, these days I try not to pine over what I can't change, and move forward. It really is the only way to better oneself. Mourning all those mistakes, a past you can't change, and dwelling on it day after day, can end up paralysing you, is no way to live.

It's just... deaths could have been turned aside with that knowledge, even if it was knowledge of oneself. The better informed person would have handled situations better, if you see what I mean.

But as I said, moving forward. Look back too long and the regrets will kill you.

The future will kill you too.
Sometimes, regrets are all we have.

J.

 

[Australis]

Yes, but at least we have that self-knowledge now, and will try very hard not to keep making the same mistakes.

 

[Amaris]

Yes, but at least we have that self-knowledge now, and will try very hard not to keep making the same mistakes.

That assumes you have control.


J.

 

[Kail]

Like the other guys on the board, I regret passing up, for one reason or another, some sexual adventures that were offered to me back in the day. One I REALLY regret was an awesome looking babe who was REALLY into me that I turned down because I was in a relationship at the time with a girl who ending up cheating on me. Is that considered ironic?

 

[Emher]

^Yes lifes irony. When I was together with my ex I had several shots at several fnatastic girls, but since I was being faithful I did not. And of course she wasn't, faithful that is.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^Yes lifes irony. When I was together with my ex I had several shots at several fnatastic girls, but since I was being faithful I did not. And of course she wasn't, faithful that is.

Happened to me too. Actually we were on and off, so I could have gone with someone else without cheating, but I was hoping we'd get back together so I never did. Then we did get back together just for me to find out she was cheating on me all along anyway. So have occasionally wondered what would have happened otherwise, but I can't say I regret it too much.

 

[Emher]

^Well with me it was so bad that it was the level that she accepted my marriage proposal even though she was cheating on me at that time and had for some time (I learned this about after she dumped me).

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^Well with me it was so bad that it was the level that she accepted my marriage proposal even though she was cheating on me at that time and had for some time (I learned this about after she dumped me).

Same here, then a few years later I was talking to her while she was stoned, and found out about a whole load of times she cheated on me at different times.

 

[TorontoTrekker]

1. I remember being on a bus from Ottawa to Toronto (this must have been in 1988 or 1989, when I was working for Radarsat) and there was this hot blond boy in the seat next to me. (When I say "boy", he was about 20. I was 21 or 22.) I was dozing in my seat, and at one point I opened my eyes and saw that he was writing in a journal. I looked down, and even though he was writing in French, my French was still good enough that I could tell that he was writing about all the things he wanted to do with my body.

At the time, I had already come out to a few close friends but I wasn't really all that comfortable in my own skin yet, so while I struck up a conversation with him a while later, and learned that he was from France and taking a cross-Canada trip, I never said anything to suggest that I might have been interested. I kind of regret not offering to help him find his hotel (room ) once we got to Toronto.

2. I regret that I married someone whom I should have known in retrospect would cheat on me (since he had done so while we were dating). I guess I figured at the time that I would never find anyone else, since I'd never had all that much luck with dating. But I ended up wasting seven years of my life with him, not to mention the years after he left me for someone else when I was dealing with the psychological issues the ending of our marriage left me with.

3. I regret not trying a little harder at the job I was fired from four years ago. I guess I didn't really believe that my manager would fire me for being ten minutes late, especially since I had just received an award for a project I'd been working in which was the direct cause of my sleep problems (as I'd been working from noon to 9pm for several months, and so getting into the office for 9:30 am after that project ended was harder than it should have been).

 

[Emher]

^Well with me it was so bad that it was the level that she accepted my marriage proposal even though she was cheating on me at that time and had for some time (I learned this about after she dumped me).

Same here, then a few years later I was talking to her while she was stoned, and found out about a whole load of times she cheated on me at different times.

Wow we're twins in relationship misfortune Did she pull did "I didn't want to hurt you" excuse on you as well?

2. I regret that I married someone whom I should have known in retrospect would cheat on me (since he had done so while we were dating). I guess I figured at the time that I would never find anyone else, since I'd never had all that much luck with dating. But I ended up wasting seven years of my life with him, not to mention the years after he left me for someone else when I was dealing with the psychological issues the ending of our marriage left me with.

Ditto. That's what was a big part what was wrong with the aformentioned relationship of mine. There where in all honesty signs but I chose to ignore them since I felt it was my only chance. Luckily for me I didn't waste as much of life as you did with yours. My sympathies dude.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^Well with me it was so bad that it was the level that she accepted my marriage proposal even though she was cheating on me at that time and had for some time (I learned this about after she dumped me).

Same here, then a few years later I was talking to her while she was stoned, and found out about a whole load of times she cheated on me at different times.

Wow we're twins in relationship misfortune Did she pull did "I didn't want to hurt you" excuse on you as well?

Yeah, she said she didn't want to hurt me, and was sorry that telling me might hurt more, but to be honest it made me feel better. Because I realised that there was nothing I could have done to make her happy, she would have done it anyway.
She even tried blaming me for her cheating, because I told her that she should be with someone else if that made her happy, because I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness.
Of course, I meant she should split up with me and be with someone else if that's what she wanted. Not to go round shagging other people while still with me.

 

[Kirby]

I can't regret anything that I've done because I may not be where I am today. I have a wonderful wife and two great kids. Taking a different path earlier in life may have prevented that from happening.
I suppose I should have eaten healthier and exercised more my whole life. I tried running around a lake a few weeks ago and thought I was going to pass out when I was done. It's only a little over 1/2 mile...

 

[Emher]

Same here, then a few years later I was talking to her while she was stoned, and found out about a whole load of times she cheated on me at different times.

Wow we're twins in relationship misfortune Did she pull did "I didn't want to hurt you" excuse on you as well?

Yeah, she said she didn't want to hurt me, and was sorry that telling me might hurt more, but to be honest it made me feel better. Because I realised that there was nothing I could have done to make her happy, she would have done it anyway.
She even tried blaming me for her cheating, because I told her that she should be with someone else if that made her happy, because I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness.
Of course, I meant she should split up with me and be with someone else if that's what she wanted. Not to go round shagging other people while still with me.

Well with me it did actually hurt more. But that's because I have trust issues since earlier and this didn't help that.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

Well with me it did actually hurt more. But that's because I have trust issues since earlier and this didn't help that.

I think the reason it didn't hurt me any more was because by that point we'd been split at least a couple of years. She had a kid with a guy she also cheated on... Seemed to me there was a pattern there, and I there was nothing I could have done, she would have always cheated on me.

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Laura and I met when we were 13, and by the time we were 20 I realized that I loved her. However, I was still in school at the time and I was a couple years away from being able to leave my supermarket job for one that paid decently, and I was afraid of ruining our friendship, so I kept my mouth shut. A year later when her mom was dying of cancer she met the guy she eventually married. He was a real slimeball, and everyone could see it except her. I was horribly depressed when they got married but I took comfort in the fact that she was happy.

Fast forward ten years; they've got two kids and he treats her very badly; he's verbally and psychologically abusive and she's practically raising their two kids by herself. My wife and I have been happily married for eight years, but I wish I had told Laura I loved her when I first realized how I felt. I probably wouldn't have been able to give her as much from a financial standpoint as her husband has, but I'd treat her better.

 

[Jax]

My biggest regret is that I wish i had tried harder with this girl called Sarah (shes the one that got away kind of girl...always has, always will be.)