Is it really hard to text someone back?
- Thread starter Aldo
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She knows you are interested in her, and she isn't interested in you. That's why she's not replying to your texts - in the hope that you 'get the message'. Metaphorically.
How good am I. I didn't see this before I posted the comment above (^)
I don't text. I HATE texting. If you want to talk to me, call me the hell up and TALK to me. I will gladly talk to you...or call you back. Or if you absolutely cannot stand to stop texting people for 5 seconds, send it to me as an email and I will send you an email back. In a day or so, when I get 'round to it. 
But I do not return text messages. I refuse to learn how to type with my thumbs when I do it quite well already with all my fingers and I refuse to learn the language of 'textspeak'.
For me, there is the following communication hierarchy -
1. Phone Calls - generally I pick up (either on home or cell line), but if I am unavailable I will usually call back within a few hours, unless it is past about 9 pm. Then I will wait until the next morning to return the call, unless I know that, like me, you are a 'night person'.
2. Emails - I normally return these within 24 hours, unless I don't care about the content (I have one friend who spams me endlessly with every fucking Picassa update he makes, and it's annoying as hell). If you have made my Friend-as-spammer list, I might not return your emails. In fact, I might not even read all your emails if I feel like you are wasting too much of my time with endless 'updates' to all kinds of online accounts.
3. Text - forget about it. I hate text messages so much that I have texting BLOCKED on my cell phone.
But I do not return text messages. I refuse to learn how to type with my thumbs when I do it quite well already with all my fingers and I refuse to learn the language of 'textspeak'.
For me, there is the following communication hierarchy -
1. Phone Calls - generally I pick up (either on home or cell line), but if I am unavailable I will usually call back within a few hours, unless it is past about 9 pm. Then I will wait until the next morning to return the call, unless I know that, like me, you are a 'night person'.
2. Emails - I normally return these within 24 hours, unless I don't care about the content (I have one friend who spams me endlessly with every fucking Picassa update he makes, and it's annoying as hell). If you have made my Friend-as-spammer list, I might not return your emails. In fact, I might not even read all your emails if I feel like you are wasting too much of my time with endless 'updates' to all kinds of online accounts.
3. Text - forget about it. I hate text messages so much that I have texting BLOCKED on my cell phone.
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My favorite form of communication is email.
Talking on the phone--sorry fuck off, stop intruding into my space and expecting me to just drop my life, even if my life at that point was staring vacantly into space.
Chatting--OMFG now I can't read email because I'm obviously GREEN and ONLINE so they will be posting "hey. hey. hey. hey. are you there? hey." over and over.
Texts--You're kidding right? You want me to pay attention to this dribble?
Send me an email. I will read your email and if I feel like it I will eventually reply in my own time. I will enjoy this and you will actually get a response. I will not for one second feel invaded by this form of communication and I will continue to be your friend rather than growing slowly to hate you.
Talking on the phone--sorry fuck off, stop intruding into my space and expecting me to just drop my life, even if my life at that point was staring vacantly into space.
Chatting--OMFG now I can't read email because I'm obviously GREEN and ONLINE so they will be posting "hey. hey. hey. hey. are you there? hey." over and over.
Texts--You're kidding right? You want me to pay attention to this dribble?
Send me an email. I will read your email and if I feel like it I will eventually reply in my own time. I will enjoy this and you will actually get a response. I will not for one second feel invaded by this form of communication and I will continue to be your friend rather than growing slowly to hate you.
Hey there, sexy! Where you been all my life?I don't text. I HATE texting. If you want to talk to me, call me the hell up and TALK to me. I will gladly talk to you...or call you back. Or if you absolutely cannot stand to stop texting people for 5 seconds, send it to me as an email and I will send you an email back. In a day or so, when I get 'round to it.
But I do not return text messages. I refuse to learn how to type with my thumbs when I do it quite well already with all my fingers and I refuse to learn the language of 'textspeak'.
For me, there is the following communication hierarchy -
1. Phone Calls - generally I pick up (either on home or cell line), but if I am unavailable I will usually call back within a few hours, unless it is past about 9 pm. Then I will wait until the next morning to return the call, unless I know that, like me, you are a 'night person'.
2. Emails - I normally return these within 24 hours, unless I don't care about the content (I have one friend who spams me endlessly with every fucking Picassa update he makes, and it's annoying as hell). If you have made my Friend-as-spammer list, I might not return your emails. In fact, I might not even read all your emails if I feel like you are wasting too much of my time with endless 'updates' to all kinds of online accounts.
3. Text - forget about it. I hate text messages so much that I have texting BLOCKED on my cell phone.
Seriously though, I agree completely.
^ 
Seriously though. Wouldn't it be a relief to be on the same 'communication wavelength' with someone?
This one friend of mine who spams me endlessly with his Picassa updates, Google Groups requests, tweets, and what have you...sometimes I just want to send him an email and tell him that if he doesn't stop sending me all this shit, I am gonna start sending ALL of his electronic communication to my spam folder.
Right now, he is bugging me to get on something called Orkt or whatever-the-fuck that is. I get those emails and I think "NO FUCKING WAY am I giving this guy yet another way to spam me".
He really is a nice guy and good friend. But I think he has the impression that his friends are WAY more interested in his up-to-the-minute goings-on than we actually are.
You know?
Seriously though. Wouldn't it be a relief to be on the same 'communication wavelength' with someone?
This one friend of mine who spams me endlessly with his Picassa updates, Google Groups requests, tweets, and what have you...sometimes I just want to send him an email and tell him that if he doesn't stop sending me all this shit, I am gonna start sending ALL of his electronic communication to my spam folder.
Right now, he is bugging me to get on something called Orkt or whatever-the-fuck that is. I get those emails and I think "NO FUCKING WAY am I giving this guy yet another way to spam me".
He really is a nice guy and good friend. But I think he has the impression that his friends are WAY more interested in his up-to-the-minute goings-on than we actually are.
You know?
The hell it isn't. I should introduce you to one of my friends. This guy will not put his phone down no matter what he's doing. There have been MANY occasions over the years where he'll call and invite me to lunch saying he desperately needs to talk, then, spend the entire lunch either taking calls, answering texts, or surfing the net. He does this ALL THE TIME. Even while driving. He's been cited for it twice, and caused at least one fender bender (that he'll admit to) because of it.
The bitch of it is, I depend on him to get me to doctor appointments and stuff when my girlfriend is at work.
The so-called "anti-cell phone while driving" laws need to be enforced more strongly, although I doubt it would do any good in his case.
I'm not liking the insinuations being thrown around that I'm some sort of stalker. I have a female friend who I wanted to hang out with this week, I text her telling her when I was free to hang out. I received no reply from her. That was the end of it, I haven't text her since, because I'm not going to overwhelm her with texts. I realize she is probably busy and just does not want to respond. It's her life.
However, that does not mean I cannot be irritated by it, and I just decided to put this thread out there to voice my irritation on the subject.
For the past five years I've done most of my communication via text. Somewhere along the line I just started hanging out with more and more people that preferred texting over talking on the phone, so it rubbed off on me. I know a lot of people don't text, but there are those out there that only communicate that way, it's just the way things are.
However, that does not mean I cannot be irritated by it, and I just decided to put this thread out there to voice my irritation on the subject.
For the past five years I've done most of my communication via text. Somewhere along the line I just started hanging out with more and more people that preferred texting over talking on the phone, so it rubbed off on me. I know a lot of people don't text, but there are those out there that only communicate that way, it's just the way things are.
I personally hate talking on the phone, so text is much better. I'm fine with face to face, but phone conversations bug me for some reason and I don't know why.
Aldo, I don't think anyone views you as a stalker. I think what has happened here is that your initial comment has led to a general discussion about the ways we prefer to communicate with our friends.
But that doesn't mean that those of use who prefer, say, the phone, see you as a 'stalker'. Nothing like that at all.
Frankly, I have to wonder if some of this isn't age-related. I think that people in their teens and 20's, as a rule, are more into texting than those of us in our 30's, 40's or older. Many of us in our 40's or so most often use texting when communicating with our teenage children, at THEIR initiation. We were raised with phones, email and cell phones, and that is about as 'urgent' as we want to get. We don't WANT to receive over 1,000 messages a month (like my teenage nephew does) - from ANYONE. At our age, NO ONE has that much to say that could possibly be important to me.
But my 17 year old nephew is CONSTANTLY on his phone, typing away for hours, as if being out of contact with his friends for more than 5 minutes at a stretch will kill him.
People my age really wonder about that. I mean, if you are gonna spend that much time texting, why not call and hear a real voice? Or better yet, get in the damn car and go over there, so you can see a real face? But sitting around, texting for hours? Most of us don't get that. Because texting is too impersonal and abbreviated to have an in-depth conversation. Not in the manner we understand it, anyway. Most of us, if given the choice, would rather drive to someone's house and talk to them, or talk to them on the phone, than spend hours sending text messages back and forth. We prefer the personal touch. We want to see their expressions, or hear the inflection in their voice. We want to know what they really think and feel, and those methods are best at helping to discern that.
Texting though...to me, it's just faceless words on yet another screen. Blah, Blah, Blah. I'm tired of looking at screens. I want to look at a few smiling faces in life. And I am bewildered that that does not seem to be a priority to young people.
But that doesn't mean that those of use who prefer, say, the phone, see you as a 'stalker'. Nothing like that at all.
Frankly, I have to wonder if some of this isn't age-related. I think that people in their teens and 20's, as a rule, are more into texting than those of us in our 30's, 40's or older. Many of us in our 40's or so most often use texting when communicating with our teenage children, at THEIR initiation. We were raised with phones, email and cell phones, and that is about as 'urgent' as we want to get. We don't WANT to receive over 1,000 messages a month (like my teenage nephew does) - from ANYONE. At our age, NO ONE has that much to say that could possibly be important to me.
But my 17 year old nephew is CONSTANTLY on his phone, typing away for hours, as if being out of contact with his friends for more than 5 minutes at a stretch will kill him.
People my age really wonder about that. I mean, if you are gonna spend that much time texting, why not call and hear a real voice? Or better yet, get in the damn car and go over there, so you can see a real face? But sitting around, texting for hours? Most of us don't get that. Because texting is too impersonal and abbreviated to have an in-depth conversation. Not in the manner we understand it, anyway. Most of us, if given the choice, would rather drive to someone's house and talk to them, or talk to them on the phone, than spend hours sending text messages back and forth. We prefer the personal touch. We want to see their expressions, or hear the inflection in their voice. We want to know what they really think and feel, and those methods are best at helping to discern that.
Texting though...to me, it's just faceless words on yet another screen. Blah, Blah, Blah. I'm tired of looking at screens. I want to look at a few smiling faces in life. And I am bewildered that that does not seem to be a priority to young people.
I don't text, but when i did i often did. And now too on online chats such as Facebook.
Reminds me enitrely of an ex-girlfriend I had. For example, I would go on facebook, and it would show on her profile that the person was online now. And I'd see she was online and had been doing quizzes for the last hour. So I'd txt her and say something like "since you're online, why not pop on msn and we can chat for a bit". What annoyed me was that she was prone to simply not responding. It was like I had never even txted her to begin with. If you have time to piss about on facebook quizzes for an hour, you have time to reply to your boyfriend if he asks you a question in a txt, even if the answer is, "I cant at the moment, talk later". Just acknowledge that the other person actually communicated with you. Otherwise whats the point of being with them to begin with?
The fact that she didnt even see this as a problem was an attitude that contributed to our break up.
I dont expect instantaneous responses, I dont even expect responses to every message, but if you are in a relationship with someone I do expect you to sometimes answer a txt, especially when they contain questions.
Who the hell pays for individual txts? I have had a phone of one sort or another since about 1997/1998 and havent paid for a text since the early 2000s.
Why -would- I pay for unlimited texting when I almost never have any reason to send or receive a text? If I have to send someone a quick message I can email them; if it's something more substantive I can call them.
What I don't understand is the growing phobia people seem to have these days about actually calling people.
What I don't understand is the growing phobia people seem to have these days about actually calling people.
I don't understand it either. Like we don't spend enough time already communicating in writing on screens as opposed to actually hearing a voice or seeing a face. We are getting more impersonal by the moment, and I find it to be quite sad.
I don't have texting at all on my phone. But when I did, it wasn't for free. I don't like it, don't want to do it, and think it's an annoying PITA to have to text people. Why text when calling someone communicates the same info faster, more 'in person' and with greater opportunity for clarity?
Yeah, I feel the same way. I like texting and talking face-to-face, but I don't care for talking on the phone. I think because it's hard to do other things while you're on the phone. In person, you can be doing something else together. When texting, you can just do that when there's a lull in whatever else you're doing. But when you're talking on the phone, it kind of commands your attention.
Meh you dont use them, you dont use them. But in general, not getting yourself on a package where you get them free is a very stupid and expensive move.
Well, one reason is, I'm busy, and so are the people I'm trying to make contact with. More often than not, I get voice mail, which, while it's not a bad thing sometimes, means that I have to call back a second time (because they'll likely get my voice mail). At home, I literally cannot have an uninterrupted conversation. So, for me, the best solution is to email or text people (depending on the circumstance) when it's convenient for me, and they'll reply however way they want when it's convenient for them.
The exception to this "rule" is my mother, whom I will talk to on the phone for as many hours as it takes for her to describe her health and what she and daddy watched on TV last night.
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