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Amaris
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I was curious about the extent of the transition as well. I was assuming full transition, but if not, I still stand by my initial statements.
Is it homosexual to date a trans woman?
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I was curious about the extent of the transition as well. I was assuming full transition, but if not, I still stand by my initial statements.
I'd say that classifying it isn't important. If someone is ok with it, that's all that counts. But labels are unimportant.
Personally I'd find it too weird to consider, but I wouldn't classify it as homosexual. You're attracted to the female appearance, regardless of whether she was born a dude. And it wouldn't be crossing swords or anything. But I'd still consider it a dude.
Personally I'd find it too weird to consider, but I wouldn't classify it as homosexual. You're attracted to the female appearance, regardless of whether she was born a dude. And it wouldn't be crossing swords or anything. But I'd still consider it a dude.
How much does she look like a guy?
I don't just mean in terms physical appearance, but also in action, dress, voice... everything. Do you prefer the way she looks in guy clothing? Are you turned on by her looking like a long-haired man? Then, yeah, you're gay, bi, or possibly just really into mannish women.
If your attraction to her grows as she transitions and gets better at fulfilling her new social and physical role, then you're straight. Gay guys don't want someone who wears women's clothing, women's makeup, who walks like a woman, who sounds like a woman, who acts like a woman. They are into men.
Here's a good, if imperfect, home test of sexuality. Imagine yourself sitting in a restaurant (or, alternatively, go to a restaurant frequented by attractive people.) Every thirty seconds or so, an attractive man passes on your right. At the same time, an attractive woman passes on your left. Which way do your eyes flick when these gorgeous people pass by? If you're a man, and your eyes went exclusively to the left, you're straight. Even if every one of those attractive women were born genetically male, you're still straight, because you want to look at--and be involved in relationships with--women.
Trans women are only men deep down in the sense that, way deep down in their genes, they have Y chromosomes. Otherwise, they act, walk, talk, and often verging on usually look like women. Because they are women. They just got around to being so a little late.
Also, as mari says, lots of of MTFs are still into women after transitioning, and from my understanding, some are sort of asexual. Also, though sex reassignment surgery does create a real vagina, not all trans women can reach orgasm. The surgery's good, but not perfect.
I don't just mean in terms physical appearance, but also in action, dress, voice... everything. Do you prefer the way she looks in guy clothing? Are you turned on by her looking like a long-haired man? Then, yeah, you're gay, bi, or possibly just really into mannish women.
If your attraction to her grows as she transitions and gets better at fulfilling her new social and physical role, then you're straight. Gay guys don't want someone who wears women's clothing, women's makeup, who walks like a woman, who sounds like a woman, who acts like a woman. They are into men.
Here's a good, if imperfect, home test of sexuality. Imagine yourself sitting in a restaurant (or, alternatively, go to a restaurant frequented by attractive people.) Every thirty seconds or so, an attractive man passes on your right. At the same time, an attractive woman passes on your left. Which way do your eyes flick when these gorgeous people pass by? If you're a man, and your eyes went exclusively to the left, you're straight. Even if every one of those attractive women were born genetically male, you're still straight, because you want to look at--and be involved in relationships with--women.
Trans women are only men deep down in the sense that, way deep down in their genes, they have Y chromosomes. Otherwise, they act, walk, talk, and often verging on usually look like women. Because they are women. They just got around to being so a little late.
Also, as mari says, lots of of MTFs are still into women after transitioning, and from my understanding, some are sort of asexual. Also, though sex reassignment surgery does create a real vagina, not all trans women can reach orgasm. The surgery's good, but not perfect.
The answer I agree with in this thread is, "who cares?" People who would judge you for it aren't people you'd want to associate with in the first place.
I don't know if I would or wouldn't date a transwoman. Circumstances could arise where that would be a possibility but since I haven't encountered that situation I can't be certain how I would handle it. Gender and sexuality are fluid concepts and people who insist on being "100%" anything are probably overcompensating for their own insecurities.
I don't know if I would or wouldn't date a transwoman. Circumstances could arise where that would be a possibility but since I haven't encountered that situation I can't be certain how I would handle it. Gender and sexuality are fluid concepts and people who insist on being "100%" anything are probably overcompensating for their own insecurities.
Gender is very relative, that's true. The more you study the topic, the more complex it gets. Like everyone else, I believe in "who cares, whatever makes you happy". I don't even know if we can label sexuality as clearly as we'd like to.
I'd far prefer the biological woman, then, but would also much prefer a feminine woman to either of those two choices.
In other words, they're attracted to those with different sex chromosomes as themselves, making them genetically straight, whereas a guy falling in love with a trans woman would be a genetically gay attraction. Nothing wrong with that, but there it is: not entirely straight.
Would a guy being attracted to an XY born-and-raised female be 100% straight? When the woman's thought of herself as female since birth, and has developed accordingly... well... 98% straight maybe? 99%?
Thing is, no-one here claimed that their opinion was THE TRUTH...
...which is a great thing.
...which is a great thing.
Epic win!
Your argument is nonsensical. You cannot know a person's chromosomes by looking with the naked eye. We are attracted to the physical features that distinguish male from female. Take women with Androgen Insensitivity: They are genetically male (XY) but have all the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of a female. Their body shape, faces, genitals, breasts, etc. are all female, even though their chromosomes are not. They don't even know they are not genetically female until their periods fail to show up or they try to get pregnant. What about individuals with various other intersex conditions? For example (and for lack of a better term) ambiguous genitalia? It's not as uncommon as you'd think -- clitorises large enough to be mistaken for small penises, penises small enough to be mistaken for large clitorises, people who have a little bit of both. If I dated a man who, in every way looked, acted, and identified as male, but who had ambiguous genitalia, would that make me bi? Of course not. What if I dated a fat man. Would I be 10% gay because he had boobs? It's such a ridiculous notion it's laughable!I'd far prefer the biological woman, then, but would also much prefer a feminine woman to either of those two choices.
In other words, they're attracted to those with different sex chromosomes as themselves, making them genetically straight, whereas a guy falling in love with a trans woman would be a genetically gay attraction. Nothing wrong with that, but there it is: not entirely straight.
Would a guy being attracted to an XY born-and-raised female be 100% straight? When the woman's thought of herself as female since birth, and has developed accordingly... well... 98% straight maybe? 99%?
There is a lot more to being male or female than chromosomes.
It's kind of funny, but some people don't seem to get that gay men are attracted to MEN. They are attracted to the male physical form. I would argue that a man attracted to a fully trans woman would be expressing entirely heterosexual behavior: he is attracted to an individual who has the physical characteristics of a woman and who identifies psychologically as a woman. There is nothing gay about that.
No, because anyone with a Y chromosome is genetically male.
It's pretty easy in many cases to identify post-op transexual women with the naked eye. Your suggesting otherwise is misleading at best. Now, how about dialing down the rhetoric a bit? I'm not judging anyone or being prejudicial here, but you've started down that path by attacking my sexual inclinations, which were expressly applied to myself alone.
If you think of her as a woman, and love her, then I don't see why it would indicate any homosexual tendencies. If the man loves the person as a female, thinks of the person as a female,wants to make love to that person he sees as a woman, the particulars of the plumbing involved seems fairly irrelevant.
If, in your head, you see that person as the opposite sex, then that's how you respond to the person.
And frankly, in the greater scheme of things, what does it really matter? As long as the people in the relationship are happy, everything else is fairly meaningless, IMHO, anyway.
If, in your head, you see that person as the opposite sex, then that's how you respond to the person.
And frankly, in the greater scheme of things, what does it really matter? As long as the people in the relationship are happy, everything else is fairly meaningless, IMHO, anyway.
I'll say again... what does any of this matter? YOU love the person, and if they love you back, then what's the big deal? Why would you care how other people classify that love? YOU are the one dating/loving them, not anyone else, so nothing anyone else says matters in the least. As long as you are comfortable, that's all that counts.
Yes, yes, it doesn't matter; tolerance cookies for everyone. But some of us are trying to have an interesting discussion here, no matter how frivolous or immaterial. I don't care what other BBS-ers had for dinner last night, but I don't jam up their thread with "what does it matter what you ate as long as you liked it" posts. If you see something discriminatory, by all means call it out. Otherwise, if you're not interested in the OP question, no one's forcing you to reply one or more times with the same "I don't care". I don't care about your not caring.
Well I guess then the question isn't how it should be labeled, but whether or not YOU feel gay doing it, or if you yourself are comfortable with it.
Fair point...
That's what some of us were discussing before and while others of us repeatedly asked "why does this matter"?
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