Is it homosexual to date a trans woman?

[Kestra]

Yes, yes, it doesn't matter; tolerance cookies for everyone. But some of us are trying to have an interesting discussion here, no matter how frivolous or immaterial. I don't care what other BBS-ers had for dinner last night, but I don't jam up their thread with "what does it matter what you ate as long as you liked it" posts. If you see something discriminatory, by all means call it out. Otherwise, if you're not interested in the OP question, no one's forcing you to reply one or more times with the same "I don't care". I don't care about your not caring.

I don't think this is really equivalent to not caring about the dinner thread. Asking why it matters is a valid question and something worth thinking about. Personally I think that we should question why there is a need to label everything and whether we've let sexual attractions dictate too much of our identities.

 

[Gaith]

Has anyone said it matters? Or are you just assuming that's been said or implied?

 

[Kestra]

Has anyone said it matters? Or are you just assuming that's been said or implied?

I'm just responding to your post and trying to explain why this I think that question is still relevant to this thread.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

It sounds like the real question being danced around is, "Is it gay to date someone who has a penis even if they identify as female?" Right? A post-op transwoman should be (more or less) physically indistinguishable from a congenital female, so I assume pre-op is where the homosexual question comes in.

And if that's the question... I don't have an answer. Defining it as gay/straight makes the whole thing too narrow, and labeling such a person as bisexual seems to cop out of actually grappling with the issue. As I said earlier, gender and sexuality are fluid, so making it a binary choice frames the question in a way that's not really true to reality.

 

[LitmusDragon]

I think it would be over-simplifying to call that situation homosexual or even heterosexual. It's obviously more complicated than that.

 

[Lookingglassman]

I always say if it was born a man then he is still a man no matter what he does to himself. I wouldnt date a dude who is now a woman because in my eyes he/she is still a guy and that would be gay. However I see nothing wrong with dating a guy who used to be a girl because that guy is still a girl in my book and by dating them you are not being homosexual.

I am a big fat loser, but if I put on a Superman suit, I am still a big fat loser underneath I won't be magically transformed into Superman therefore if a dude gets his weiner cut off and made into a woman's private parts he is still a dude in my book.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I think it goes beyond "straight" and "gay" labels. A lot of sexuality does. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd say "hey, fuck you. I don't believe in absolutes."

Also, I made this after reading this thread, because it seemed funny to me:

That's hilarious.

 

[Roshi]

I don't get it...

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I don't get it...

Not a Dungeons & Dragons fan, huh? BURN THE HERETIC!

 

[Roshi]

I'm not familiar with D&D in English, my friend, but thanks, now I can see it.

 

[Pingfah]

I always say if it was born a man then he is still a man no matter what he does to himself. I wouldnt date a dude who is now a woman because in my eyes he/she is still a guy and that would be gay. However I see nothing wrong with dating a guy who used to be a girl because that guy is still a girl in my book and by dating them you are not being homosexual.

I sense some rationalising going on here...

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Also, I made this after reading this thread, because it seemed funny to me:

That's hilarious.

I don't get it...

Not a Dungeons & Dragons fan, huh? BURN THE HERETIC!

So does that mean that "Straight" corresponds with "Good" and "Gay" corresponds with "Evil"?

 

[RJDiogenes]

No, that wasn't the intent; he was making a point about the shades of gray inherent in sexuality.

 

[thestrangequark]

If I dated a man who, in every way looked, acted, and identified as male, but who had ambiguous genitalia, would that make me bi? Of course not. What if I dated a fat man. Would I be 10% gay because he had boobs?

No, because anyone with a Y chromosome is genetically male.

Your argument is nonsensical. You cannot know a person's chromosomes by looking with the naked eye.

But some you can't. And you certainly wouldn't know an Androgen Insensitive woman was XY by looking at her.

... I would argue that a man attracted to a fully trans woman would be expressing entirely heterosexual behavior: he is attracted to an individual who has the physical characteristics of a woman and who identifies psychologically as a woman.

It's pretty easy in many cases to identify post-op transexual women with the naked eye. Your suggesting otherwise is misleading at best. Now, how about dialing down the rhetoric a bit? I'm not judging anyone or being prejudicial here, but you've started down that path by attacking my sexual inclinations, which were expressly applied to myself alone.

It seems to me you don't understand my point. And nowhere did I attack your sexual inclinations, I attacked your argument, which I maintain is nonsensical. You see, that is the point; sexual inclinations are defined by the individual alone -- if one identifies as straight and dates a trans woman, one is engaging in completely hetero behavior.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

No, that wasn't the intent; he was making a point about the shades of gray inherent in sexuality.

I see.

In the traditional position of the character alignments, that's where "Good" and "Evil" would be usually located. A bit unfortunate, but I understand the real intent and was just pointing out how it could be misread.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Yeah, I'm familiar with that grid, but in this case I knew that wasn't meant to be the parallel-- just using an AD&D trope to humorously illustrate the spectrum of sexuality.

I wonder what else that grid could be applied to....

 

[Robert Maxwell]

There's a Batman diagram showing the alignments. Kind of amusing, too. I am too lazy to post it, though.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Yeah, I'm familiar with that grid, but in this case I knew that wasn't meant to be the parallel-- just using an AD&D trope to humorously illustrate the spectrum of sexuality.

I know, I know. It's a great idea.

I wonder what else that grid could be applied to....

All sorts of things. For those unfamiliar with the system, generally speaking the good/evil axis defines the character's ideas and beliefs, while the law/chaos axis defines their actions and methods.

They can be adapted to many scenarios - for example in one online browser-based MMORPG there's a Reputation system based on this, with "Honor" replacing good/evil and "Selflessness" replacing law/chaos, in determining what type of a hero your character is.

I think I started a thread about this a very long time ago complete with a link to an online quiz by Wizards of the Coast themselves... I ended up as L'Awful Good.

 

[JarodRussell]

It's simple. If two schlongs are involved, it's gay. If two coochies are involved, it's lesbian.

 

[RoJoHen]

I feel like this is both too complicated and too unnecessary a question to warrant a label.

Are you attracted to a woman because she's a woman?
Are you attracted to a woman because she used to have a penis?
Are you attracted to a man because you're into genital mutilation?
Are you attracted to a person because you like who they are, regardless of gender?
Were you attracted to this person before the sex change? Did you know about the sex change? If you were attracted to someone considering a sex change, would you still be attracted to them if they went through with it?

Lots of questions can be asked from many different perspectives, and really it all boils down to how YOU feel about the situation.