Is it appropriate...

[Shikarnov]

The other day, a childhood friend's father died in a highway multi-car accident. I haven't talked to this person in years (like more than a decade), but remember spending quite a lot of time with him and his family when we were younger...

Since reading about the accident, I've looked up my old friend on Facebook and found him. But I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to make contact in order to offer condolences, or if I should wait...

What do you think?

TIA,

Z

 

[snakespeare]

My father died about a month ago and we had a big funeral. I'm over 50, and many of the mourners who are my age were people I haven't seen for 20+ years. I was glad they came, and it warmed my heart. Several of them made a point to speak with me and extend their condolences.

It is absolutely appropriate.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

I agree.

Snakespeare: My condolences to you!

 

[Maestro]

If you have more formal means to communicate with your old friend, I would recommend using them over Facebook Inbox, however, it is always appropriate to offer condolences when someone you are or were acquainted with (and even marginally) passes or losses a loved one.

My HS Guidance Counselor is a dear family friend whom I've talked to maybe a dozen times in the 15 years since graduation. Her father lived about four miles from where I live now. When he passed away I went to the wake. It had a profoundly positive impact on the family, and for about two weeks after my community was abuzz about my presence at the wake (which is a bit too agrandising in my book, but perhaps it helps with your decision).

Do it. It will only help.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Yes, it's appropriate. Really, do it: he will be glad you did.

 

[Roger Wilco]

Yes, it's appropriate, especially if you knew the father too and not just your friend.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Yes, do it, even via facebook. Your friend and the family will be pleased that you remember them.

 

[KimMH]

I would add sooner is better than later. You'd hate to accidentally come across this person and have that oversight in the back of your mind. Realizing how many people care about you and your loved ones is one of the things that makes a loss like that bearable.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I agree. You should definitely contact him.

And my condolences on your loss, snakespeare.

 

[cultcross]

Yes, do it, even via facebook. Your friend and the family will be pleased that you remember them.

This. When we lost someone last year, the people who cared enough to write something were all valued, however out of the blue it might have seemed. Your friend will be glad of it.

 

[Shikarnov]

Thanks, everybody, for your insights and thoughts. I did contact my friend via Facebook (the only way I was able), and he was indeed glad as you all predicted. And I'm glad I did also.

Snakespeare: I'm sorry to hear about your recent loss too... You have my condolences.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

My father died about a month ago and we had a big funeral. I'm over 50, and many of the mourners who are my age were people I haven't seen for 20+ years. I was glad they came, and it warmed my heart. Several of them made a point to speak with me and extend their condolences.

It is absolutely appropriate.

^ I agree.
Send them they will appreciated it.
If you still consider this person a friend then any support in a time like this is welcome.

I'm sorry for both your losses...