That's everyone's right and it's an important one too.
But to object to it effectively and persuasively, you have to have something worthwhile to say that isn't a ludicrous false equivalency like "there were male villains too."
I haven't argued any such equivalency. At most, my argument about Lincoln/Khan is that the situation is more complicated than what a lot of the analysis offered in this thread seems to recognize.
Moreover, I am not the one with the burden of proof relative to the OP. I am challenging the OP. It is the job of the OP and Co. to prove "femininity is a villain in TOS."
The hard fact is that for a vast percentage of female TOS characters, it is possible to predict whether they would be portrayed as submissive weaklings (of the villainous variety or otherwise) simply by their gender.
Another hard fact, one that has been repeated several times already, is that I agree that TOS was sexist in it's depictions of women. Again, my objection is with lazy proofs that lead to simple and inflated conclusions.
then what is happening is sexism, and it's stupid to try to wriggle out of admitting that.
Well, if I were trying to claim that TOS wasn't sexist, I guess you'd have a point here. What do you call it when you don't actually pay attention to what the other person actually said?
Kirk is the manly man stereotype and deliberately constructed to be so, right down to seducing women as a commonplace mission tactic.
Kirk also has a savage side. Indeed, there are some episodes where you can see Spock as a more highly evolved being attempting to reason with the Captain.
"Shut Spock! We're fighting over a woman!" Spock can only let the drama play itself out, watch the android woman die when faced with the overwhelming choice, and then give Kirk a mind-meld roofie so he could forget what an unbelievable ass he was. After Kirk defiantly insists that the Organians have no right to stop a war, he later feels embarrassed at his indignation. Kirk tells Spock that he is embarrassed, and Spock tries to cheer Kirk up by reminding him that the Organians had been perfecting themselves morally for a very long time.Kirk is not presented to us as the perfection of man, but a man who is more evolved than a pure savage, but not quite grown up enough to earn the full approval of people like the Organians (his savage thoughts cause them too much pain) or the Metrons (who tell Kirk that someday humans might be worthy of contact). Kirk is sometimes a jerk, but for a good narrative reason, as he allows us to explore human nature and human foibles. He is a work in progress and represents both the strengths and weaknesses of the race.
What is occasionally critiqued is what the writers perceive as savagery or primitivism, which they see Star Trek as surpassing. That has absolutely nothing to do with critiquing masculinity. You're dancing and you've got to know it.
No, as you've remarked, women are depicted as passive supplicants and males are aggressive and martial. The savagery that is depicted in humanity is an inflection of a male-trait in the coordinating grid of the sexist thought that dominated the time (i.e., men are warriors who fight, women are the passive innocents they protect). Women, because they are not aggressive and violent, but rather depicted more like herd-animals (sheep waiting to be seduced by wolfish Kirk) are not regarded as savage in the sense of a Klingon Captain spoiling for a fight, a superhuman man looking for a world to conquer, or a Star Fleet captain issuing General Order 24 to break a stalemate in a virtual war.
The savagery and violence, therefore, is more masculine than it is feminine according to the ideology that informs the show. And like Lincoln, Kirk both admires and fears the superman, the unchained ambition which is willing to imperil the entire world for conquest. In the sense of old School Hellenic manly virtues, Kirk is at much more of a distance than a character like a Khan. Kirk realizes that the will-to-power of a self-interested and capable leads directly to oppression, which is why he rejects it (as do other men at his time). He is less masculine than Khan. Indeed, Khan outdoes Kirk, using the love mack on his own crew, using deception to learn how to control his ship, and so on. Consider these lines of dialogue:
KIRK: Lieutenant McGivers' idea to welcome Khan to our century. Just how strongly is she attracted to him?
MCCOY: Well, there aren't any regulations against romance, Jim.
KIRK: My curiosity's official, not personal, Bones.
MCCOY: Well, he has a magnetism. Almost electric. You felt it. And it could over power McGivers with her preoccupation with the past.
Khan is as much, if not more of a Mac-Daddy than Kirk is. His masculinity gives him power and charisma - Kirk's concern is that Khan's masculinity is actually more powerful than the patriarchal hold he has over her as the captain of the ship.