If you were on the Enterprise D, what would you do?

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Mars, Sep 11, 2012.

  1. Chris3123

    Chris3123 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Jul 31, 2001
    Pensacola, FL
    Don't forget to grab the other thing she hides behind there, too. :devil:

  2. Forbin

    Forbin Admiral Admiral

    Mar 15, 2001
    I said out, dammit!
    I read the OP to suggest it's present day when we mysteriously appear on the ship. :shrug:
  3. Tcsfan

    Tcsfan Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Jul 5, 2012
    I would try it figure out what is going on because the power would not last for ever if it goes out I am screwd ( it might be a while before it happens but it will happen )
  4. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

    Oct 14, 2009
    Kingston, ON Canada
    First look at this thread - and this was my first thought as well. Head to Ten Forward and have a few stiff drinks. Yes, indeed.
  5. Methos

    Methos Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Jan 10, 2012
    Hiding under Gaila's bed...
    Why am i picturing something like this...


  6. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Jun 15, 2012
    Well there's still a Soviet Union in the 24th century.
  7. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 20, 2009
    Kirk was born in the mid-west, in the 23rd century.
  8. tighr

    tighr Commodore Commodore

    Sep 5, 2011
    Right, I was wondering this same thing too. The first thing I would do is ask the ship's chronometer what year it was.

    If it's the 24th Century, Starfleet should be around somewhere. If it's the 21st Century, there should be people on Earth. I would probably get a little worried if the Earth had no people on it, either.
  9. Lt. LaForge

    Lt. LaForge Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Feb 7, 2012
    Klingon High Council
    Guys, let's all stop messing about. We would all ask the computer for minute by minute directions to the nearest holodeck. Beyonce, Shakira, Megan Fox here I come!

    Only after I'm done there would I go to the bridge...if only to sit in Cap. Picard's chair and say, "Engage!"
  10. Vito Corleone

    Vito Corleone Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Sep 29, 2012
    Somewhere in Space and Time...
    Oh, this list is gonna be long... And anything I do will be geared towards making the world's transition to a MUCH more peaceful/prosperous society at a manageable pace. Too much at once will leave society bewildered and unable to cope with its new abilities and the responsibilities that come with them. Also, I don't expect Humanity to ever achieve that seemingly Utopian society portrayed in Star Trek or solve all of its most pressing problems in my lifetime. This is just to get the ball rolling and give my successors in this mission a good head start.

    I.) Initial practical concerns

    A.) Figure out how I got there, if the ship is going to blow up/lose power/fall out of orbit sometime soon and make the necessary corrections.

    B.) Figure out if it's just this one ship or if there's a fleet/bases/shipyards/support services to go along with it and then if I can control them too.

    C.) Ask the computer if it knows what happened to the crew, assuming there was one at some time.

    D.) Ask the computer if it knows why I was brought aboard and who's responsible.

    E.) Raise the shields and go to Red Alert, just in case someone on Earth panics and decides to launch Nuclear Missiles at me. :eek:

    F.) If there's a fleet and not just the one ship, start deploying the fleet's assets throughout the Solar System to set up defense perimeters. Just because I'm busy cleaning up a mess on Earth doesn't mean I can ignore the possibility of hostile aliens out there in the universe. :shifty:

    II.) Keeping Earth from panicking and doing something stupid...

    A.) Contact various political authorities on Earth (especially the U.S. Government) via radio transmission. Either a text-based message or an audio transmission with a voice filter will be used, to ensure my anonymity. Let them know I'm Human, American, not a threat to them and NOT interested in sharing my technology with them for the foreseeable future. They will also be told that trying to board the ship/take the technology and hardware by force will have 'unfortunate' consequences. :devil:

    B.) I'll also explain to them that I will NOT reveal my identity to them until at least the year 2020. After all, some of this technology is going to be VERY different from the show, simply due to real world physics. It will take some time to study the technology and become its master. (I won't tell people on Earth that little detail, though. It's best to let them think I'm already quite familiar with using the ship's technology, especially the weapons.) In the mean time, they can just refer to me by my radio handle, Captain Kirk.

    C.) It will also be standing Starfleet policy that everyone commanding a ship named Enterprise in this fleet (assuming there is a fleet) will use 'Captain Kirk' as their name over any form of ship-to-ship or ship-to-shore transmission/communication. This allows for the Commanding Officer/Only crewmember to maintain anonymity and walk around on Earth without being mobbed by people. People deserve to have a private life.

    Besides, if there's a ship named Enterprise, there has to be a Captain named James T. Kirk. It's too ingrained into people's minds by popular culture. Picard will never be as popular or as well-known, despite being a very good starship commander.

    D.) Establish some kind of online presence for 'Captain Kirk' and the Enterprise via social media. This way, I can communicate with the world and let them know that I'm actually quite Human and personable, despite the fact that I have to keep my true identity a secret. It will also be a great way to keep them informed of all the good things that the Enterprise/Starfleet is doing for the world.

    III.) Using the technology to make the world a better place and become *quite* rich...


    A.) Use some of the shuttlecraft propulsion technology (or whatever else will do for this particular application) to replace the internal combustion engine in cars.

    B.) Copyright the technology, lease said technology to the Automakers of my choice. Laugh at the ones I hate as they slowly go out of business and at the Arab countries that have just lost their huge profits from oil. (Good luck funding Terrorism now...)

    Environmental Concerns

    A.) The barrier islands and bayous of South Louisiana will be restored by whatever means are necessary/available to me. That region is VERY important to the U.S. (and world) economy and it must be protected from natural disasters like Hurricanes at all costs.

    B.) Nuclear waste will be beamed into lead-lined containers orbiting the Earth and either vaporized with the ship's energy weapons (I'm not going to assume that they are called Phasers on a real-life version of the ship) or towed to a safe dumping site with no lifeforms, like the Sun or Jupiter's moon Io.

    C.) Replace current methods of electricity generation with sustainable and safe nuclear fusion reactors. Place them in areas with low populations and where air-tight security can be maintained to ensure Terrorists can't easily attack these important facilities.

    D.) Tell those idiots in Washington to use the food they buy through farm subsidies to feed starving people instead of letting it go to waste in grain silos. American farmers grow enough food every year to literally feed the world. Much of it goes to waste because of some bureaucratic government policy that was enacted in the Great Depression to artificially inflate farm prices. Not only is it wasteful, it never actually worked in its intended purpose to keep farmers in business. As far as I'm concerned, this practice is inhumane and downright sinful.


    A.) Devise a machine that will infuse nanites pre-programmed to locate/destroy certain bacteriological/viral diseases and foreign objects in the body into a patient's bloodstream via IV. (AIDS, Cancer tumors, Influenza, Malaria, et al. could be cured/destroyed this way.)

    B.) Introduce just enough genetic engineering knowledge/ability to the world to correct serious genetic disorders like Down Syndrome, Classical Autism, blindness, et al. Use of this technology on minors will be left to the parents. The technology will also be VERY strictly controlled to make damned sure we don't accidentally create a real-life Khan Noonien Singh.

    C.) Prove to Jenny McCarthy once and for all that bad luck and various genetic triggers caused her son to be autistic, not vaccines with a mercury-based preservative.

    IT and related Technological areas of the global economy, including entertainment...

    A.) Use some of the ship's computer technology to develop workable/easy-to-use replacements for current (and easily hackable) operating systems like Windows and MacOS. Copyright the software and release to the public via retail for a nominal fee of no more than $50. Laugh as Microsoft and Apple become MUCH smaller companies and are actually forced to compete like everyone else.

    B.) Sell my own Desktops/Laptops/Tablets, pre-loaded with the OS and other software at a reasonable price. Laugh as my competitors consistently FAIL to compete with me in any significant way, even though I made the OS x86 compatible and available for licensing like M$ did with DOS & Windows.

    C.) Speaking of gaming... I think I'll be buying Nintendo with my new riches and using them to release new consoles that utilize VR tech, possibly even 'Holodecks for the Home' one day. When that happens, the eventual 'Atari Greatest Hits' package that will be released for the system (like every other system since the N64/PS1 generation has had) will be a program featuring a 1980's-era arcade with holodeck recreations of the actual arcade machines themselves. :)

    D.) While I'm at it, I may as well buy Atari and have them produce some killer apps for the Nintendo consoles. The company that essentially created the Gaming business deserves to be better than what they are now. Same goes for SEGA, especially with the Sonic franchise.

    E.) Release a digital music player like the iPod Touch but with MUCH more memory than anyone could reasonably use. It will also utilize a LOT more formats than just MP3 and AIFF. Good luck competing with that, Apple... (Assuming I didn't buy them out and release my music player under their brand name...)

    F.) Purchase CBS & Paramount so that the TV & Film properties of the Star Trek universe are reunited. Then, bring the franchise back to Television once we have a good concept and cast with good chemistry. The mistakes that happened with Voyager and Enterprise will not be allowed to happen again. Since I happen to own CBS as well, I will make sure that the series gets a good slot in PrimeTime during a week night. None of this 'Fridays at 10' Non-sense will be tolerated.

    G.) Invest the Trillions I'm sure to make into various charitable projects to improve environmental quality, education and living standards all over the world.

    H.) Make sure at least a few Billion of those Dollars are left in a few Swiss Bank accounts that I can access and that Uncle Sam can't tax. That should ensure that I can always pay my bills and provide a comfortable living for my progeny.

    IV.) Political Concerns...

    This section is going to be a little Machiavellian but, that can't be avoided. Not everyone in the world is friendly and/or rational. After all, Diplomacy is the 'fine art of letting other people have your way'...

    A.) Have the United States send two ambassadors of a sort, one civilian and one military, to the ship to personally confer with me on occasion.

    They will bring written messages from the President to me via diplomatic bag and I will send responses to the POTUS the same way. These ambassadors will be people that I handpick myself and will not be forced to take the job if they don't want to participate. I've already got a long list of candidates in my head and know exactly who I'd pick. All of them are people I know personally and that can be trusted to keep their mouths shut about my identity. It will also NOT be revealed to Uncle Sam that these people actually knew me before I became the 'real-life Captain Kirk.' That could put them in an awkward (and dangerous) position. Their visits to the Enterprise will be on a monthly basis and limited to a few hours at most.

    B.) Help the U.S. and NATO to eradicate terror groups wherever possible via transporting SpecOps units into certain regions of the world and extracting them again later.

    This will be done via Shuttlecraft and whatever teleportation technology is available to me. (The Transporters as portrayed in Star Trek won't work for numerous reasons, including the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.)

    C.) Let ALL of the big shots in power all over the world know that I am watching them VERY closely and that misbehaving could be 'rather detrimental to their careers', to say the least. :devil:

    After all, we want these politickin' crooks to be afraid of their citizens. That ensures they'll go out of their way to protect our Liberty and NOT try to grab power for themselves. Party affiliation and whether or not I voted for them won't be a consideration. They will all be treated the same.

    D.) I'll strongly advise the Big Shots in Washington to straighten out the U.N. and SOON. That organization has become a Paper Tiger and a HUGE waste of the American people's taxpayer dollars.

    V.) Space Exploration

    A.) Provide opportunities for NASA to use a few of my Shuttlecraft for exploration missions inside the Solar System. If there's a fleet and not just the one ship, we might let them use a small science vessel instead. They will be strictly supervised and weapons will be disabled/removed from the vessels.

    B.) Send a few probes out into Interstellar Space to replace/relieve the aging Pioneer and Voyager probes that NASA launched decades ago. Those probes will be recovered, have remaining nuclear fuel removed, cleaned up and put on display at the Smithsonian.

    C.) Make plans for Interstellar Exploration and Terraforming Mars (if that's even possible) starting in 2020 when I finally reveal myself to the public, if I decide to reveal myself to them in some way.

    My real name is liable to remain a secret forever. If there's a fleet, it will be a fleet heading out into the unknown. If all I have is the Enterprise, then it will be warp-capable shuttlecraft and the Stardrive section. The Saucer will remain at home to act as the enforcer of Starfleet policy on Earth. Even without Warp engines, it's still more than capable of carrying out all of the ship's usual missions. Hopefully, we'll find a few uninhabited/unclaimed Class-M planets to use for colonization and LOTS of natural resources for our civilization's consumption.

    D.) Once Mars is Terraformed (or we find another Class-M planet somewhere), start moving some of Earth's overflowing population there. There's bound to be a LOT of volunteers since Mars will offer a fresh start and a chance to explore/build an all-new world. I'm still not sure how they would get there if all I had is the one ship. I'd probably have to work with Earth-bound Space Agencies to build colony ships that transport thousands at a time.

    Sound good, so far?
  11. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Holy crap. Got a lot of time on your hands? ;)
  12. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 20, 2009
    To tell you the truth, I kind of like the idea of those early probes endlessly going forth.

    Other than that, good ideas.

  13. Captain Rob

    Captain Rob Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Mar 9, 2010
    In Vito's scenario. Since he owns CBS Television. Maybe he can either cancel "Two and a Half Men" or do whatever it takes to bring back Charlie Sheen.
  14. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 20, 2009
    Charlie Sheen can be the Captain in the next Star Trek series.

  15. mtblillie

    mtblillie Captain Captain

    Oct 3, 2009
    Go directly to holodeck. Watch porn. .... And occasionally play modern warfare,
  16. Timewalker

    Timewalker Cat-lovin', Star Trekkin' Time Lady Premium Member

    May 26, 2007
    In many different universes, simultaneously.
    I like these ideas. :bolian:

    Why is this individual's username red? :confused:

    As for what I'd do... First thing, I'd make sure Data's cat was okay... and find out, once and for all, whether it's male or female, or if Data just had more than one cat and absolutely NO imagination when it comes to names!

    Second thing... I'd ask the transporter to beam up Stephen Harper and the idiots currently running Canada... and then forget to rematerialize them. :devil:

    Other people took some of the really good ideas, so I won't repeat them.
  17. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 20, 2009
    I was wondering this as well. He has only been here since Saturday and has two posts. And I thought you needed at least five posts to be a ensign.

    Why red?

  18. DonIago

    DonIago Vice Admiral Admiral

    Mar 22, 2001
    Burlington, VT, USA
    Paid member?
  19. Timewalker

    Timewalker Cat-lovin', Star Trekkin' Time Lady Premium Member

    May 26, 2007
    In many different universes, simultaneously.
    If so, he's the only one I've ever seen.
  20. King Daniel Beyond

    King Daniel Beyond Admiral Admiral

    Nov 5, 2008
    the grimdark bluniverse
    Paid members only get to write what they want in place of rank. Perhaps they just did the [highlight]highlight[/highlight] trick when entering their username?