If You Could Change Something In Your Past

[T'Bonz]

what would it be? Big or small thing? Why? Or are you satisfied with your choices in life?

I thought it would be interesting to see what people thought about their past decisions and what they would change if they could go back in a time machine and wave a magic wand.

Pick one, two or however many you please.

Big thing: My career. How I did not see that I should have gone straight into library science was beyond me. It was right before my face. Yet I went into computers.

Also could have gone into meteorology as weather has always fascinated me. Or epidemiology.

On a smaller level, I regret not being more diligent about taking care of my teeth, especially getting regular cleanings when young. I'm sure paying for it now.

 

[Captain Ice]

Right after I completed my BS I would have gone for a Master's in History or Public Administration.

When I first saw this thread, I thought it said "post" instead of "past"

 

[thestrangequark]

My brother died when he was 16 in 1995. If I could change one thing I would have gone with him to his tennis match. If someone had been with him when he was driving home, they could have recognized the signs of hypoglycemia and the outing would have ended in just another juice and cracker binge instead of his death.

My second choice would be to apply for more scholarships for university. I could have won a ton of them...probably gotten a full ride to NYU (I did win a full ride to University of Washington, but I wanted to leave Seattle). I wasn't a naive or stupid 17 year old, but it's nigh on impossible for a person of that age from a background of extreme poverty to comprehend what $120K student loan debt actually means. Maybe I should start a student loan debt crowdfunding movement -- have a new person every month explain their student loan debt and what they'd do if it were paid off, maybe include some kind of pay it forward thing. There are just so many people who would need it!

 

[SPCTRE]

I wouldn't want to change anything because everything in the past has informed who and where I am today.

That trite stuff out of the way, I certainly think that what-if thought experiments are fun. If Q was offering me a similar show to the one he offered Picard I would be totally be up for it - as long as it wasn't a permanent thing. For example, I would love to see where I would be today if I had been a more self-confident kid at school in certain ways. Who knows - I might be in jail or something.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I have these fantasy people in my head that I would have been if certain circumstances hadn't dominated my existence in my early years. However who knows, maybe none of that would have happened, or maybe I would have just made more big scale colourful mistakes. It's fun in a what if.

 

[RandyS]

There's alot that I would change if I could, but the big one is bringing my mom and my grandparents back to life. Grandpa died in 1991, Grandma in 1992, and Mom died in 2003. I still think about them every day, even if it's only in passing like if I see something in a store and think, "Mom would have loved that".

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

 

[thestrangequark]

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

I think it's because the longer they're gone the more life you get to see that they don't. It's just never long enough, not for my sixteen year old brother, and not for your mother or grandparents. For me it comes in waves; I'll be fine for a good long while, and then I'll have weeks on end where it seems Christopher is on my mind constantly, and I try to imagine what kind of a man he would be. He always wanted to come to New York -- would we have been roommates? Would he have a boyfriend now? A husband? He would be so proud of America, slowly but surely taking the steps towards equality. Would we meet for brunch on the weekends? Would he still be outrageous and silly, or would time have mellowed him? Would we still share clothes?

I don't think it ever gets better, because the time that passes brings with it only more and more possibilities for what could have been. But it doesn't have to be just about the pain. People I love are gone, but they can still have a positive influence on my life. When I'm most depressed, I think about all the possibilities I still have, that they don't, and I know that the the best way to respect their memories is to take advantage of those possibilities and live my life.

 

[Green Shirt]

On a smaller level, I regret not being more diligent about taking care of my teeth, especially getting regular cleanings when young. I'm sure paying for it now.

I hear your pain on this one. But I didn't start taking less care of my teeth until I hit my 40s. Sensodyne is my best friend!

I also should have been more proactive on preparing for retirement.

 

[Melakon]

If dad had lived long enough for me to finish college and start a career, my entire life would have been different. Though my personality likely would have changed as well.

 

[Green Shirt]

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

My father and mother have been gone 31 and 23 years respectively, and I am experiencing the same feeling about them as you are. Kids always need their parents, no matter how old you are.

 

[RandyS]

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

My father and mother have been gone 31 and 23 years respectively, and I am experiencing the same feeling about them as you are. Kids always need their parents, no matter how old you are.

So, you're saying that I shouldn't feel ashamed (or stupid) for being 44 years old and still wanting my mommy?

She and I had our arguments, but we were always close, right up to the night she died. She wasn't just Mom. She was a friend too. So were my grandparents.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

So, you're saying that I shouldn't feel ashamed (or stupid) for being 44 years old and still wanting my mommy?

Oh hell no. You have the absolute right to feel that way. Love of family does not diminish over time.

I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I'd known my mother (who died of MS when I was 11) the whole time. I have very little memory of her when she was well. She first got sick when I was 2. My dad raised me pretty much alone. If I'd actually been raised by both of them, I may have turned out very different.

On a more light-hearted note, I also wonder how I'd be different if I'd actually *grown up* being the baseball-obsessed fanatic that I am now. I've only been into it for about 7 years now. If I'd been that way my whole life...who knows?

 

[Melakon]

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

My father and mother have been gone 31 and 23 years respectively, and I am experiencing the same feeling about them as you are. Kids always need their parents, no matter how old you are.

Yeah, mom died when I was 14, dad when I was 19, and I sure wasn't ready to go out into the world then. Now I'm nearly 64, and wish I'd been able to have dad's advice at least a little bit while I was an adult, like my older siblings did, who were 15-20 years older.

 

[Pondwater]

I would of been more confident, assertive and independent. And been less of a doormat. I wasted a lot of time being so uptight, angry and antagonistic. But live and learn.

Also, I would of picked a different field of study in a post secondary education.

 

[Finn]

I'd go back and prevent me from repeating fourth grade- they decided I'd be better off with the kids in the earlier grade. Knowing how the last…nine years at the school turned out, I think I'd have been better off if I had moved on to the fifth grade that fall. I would have taken many classes together with those kids for most of that time anyway.

It would have meant starting middle school a year before meeting an old friend of mine (she was one of those special friends who would enter one's life during the teenage years and make an impact before moving on in life forever except for Facebook updates these days) and without two of my oldest friends (as they would be still in grade school). I believe it would have toughened me up a bit and made the difference by the time that old friend came around.

Oh, and find a college with a better biology department and have a double major, in education right away.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

People seem to regret educational delays, which if you are in the middle of delaying your education is worth thinking about.

 

[Green Shirt]

So, you're saying that I shouldn't feel ashamed (or stupid) for being 44 years old and still wanting my mommy?

Never feel that way about wanting a parent. It doesn't matter how old one is (I'm 55) and still wish mine were here.

 

[Captain Ice]

Every other emotional pain I've suffered in my life has eased with time. Not only has these not, but they've actually gotten worse. I don't understand why that is.

My father and mother have been gone 31 and 23 years respectively, and I am experiencing the same feeling about them as you are. Kids always need their parents, no matter how old you are.

So, you're saying that I shouldn't feel ashamed (or stupid) for being 44 years old and still wanting my mommy?

Never feel that way about wanting a parent. It doesn't matter how old one is (I'm 55) and still wish mine were here.

I feel the same way. My Dad and I had a tradition of attending the viewing party for the last football game of the year for his alma matter. It's also one of the oldest rivalries in college sports.

This morning found me sitting outside on a patio at a sports bar watching that game with the alumni group from his alma matter, dressed in their school colors. This is the 121st time these two schools have met on the football field. The guys there have encouraged me to continue the tradition even though Dad has been gone for three years as quite a few of them were his friends. I go because of that and because it makes me feel like I am honoring his memory.

 

[eastman23]

The biggest things would be that I would be more physically fit and to actually think about and start working toward my goals in middle and high school. Why? Because it would be better than trying to make up for lost time 15-20 years later.

 

[T'Bonz]

On a more light-hearted note, I also wonder how I'd be different if I'd actually *grown up* being the baseball-obsessed fanatic that I am now. I've only been into it for about 7 years now. If I'd been that way my whole life...who knows?

I was a fan from age 11 through my 30s. I was a fanatic too. Lived and breathed it.

My sports love has diminished a lot over the years. No reason, but perhaps after so many years, it just ebbed a bit. I still love all of my teams, but I don't follow them obsessively.