I Was Strangled and Beaten by a Stranger. I'm Injured. I'm Angry.

[Trekker4747]

I know what you're saying, but he is still endangering others by not acting, which makes it a tough thing to say he is totally deserving of sympathy.

Well, I agree with your first part but still, at the end of the day, he's too psychologically beaten to do anything. Stockholm Syndrome.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I know what you're saying, but he is still endangering others by not acting, which makes it a tough thing to say he is totally deserving of sympathy.

Well, I agree with your first part but still, at the end of the day, he's too psychologically beaten to do anything. Stockholm Syndrome.

Then isn't it more fool him for staying past the first time? It's not like he was kidnapped and forcibly made to stay. I do have sympathy for anyone in such a situation, but I also think it's despicable to know that he is also harming others and just do nothing.

 

[The Borg Queen]

Stockholm Syndrome is no excuse for someone going back after the first time, stupidity is.

 

[the Dagman]

Sue the fuck out of all of them.

Sue the attacker for obvious reasons. Sue his victim for being an accomplice to your being beaten. Sue the apartment manager and the owner for allowing an unsafe living environment to continue after they were notified multiple times (for at the very least to break your lease so you can move to a safe apartment). And make sure to press the District Attorney and police DAILY to press charges and insist on him being jailed, or sue THEM too for malfeasance. Do not take their excuses. You were attacked, you press charges, you know where the perp lives, make them swear out a warrant right there and then. Do not take no for an answer. If they stonewall, go over their heads. Go to the mayor and city council. Make this public and loud. Vent all your anger into this.

I absolutely hate hearing about women being victimized like this and I am grateful to hear you survived the ordeal. And if you lived locally to me, I can think of at least a half dozen friends of mine, along with myself, who would be more than willing to stop by and make the "problem" go away.

 

[Scout101]

Wow. Just wow. Don't know what to say that won't sound cliche, but kick some ass! Doesn't sound like they're sitting on much money to sue, but sue the attacker and his boyfriend anyway. And DEFINITELY press charges, get his ass locked up. The apartment manager is gonna come out of his owing you some money, if you do it right. He let a KNOWN problem continue, and this was the result. Your assailant knows where you live, and lives in the same building, so by not letting you move to another apartment, or letting you out of your lease at all, he's subjecting you to potential future harm. That's good for some money, a lease-breaking deal, and something for the psychological fear you have of the guy coming back to your home. Not throwing the guy out after this incident, and the crap with the only partially-functional elevator ought to seal that up easy. Talk with a lawyer first, but that might be a good one to bring to the local news, embarass the shit out of that guy, and he'll be forced to let you out and kick out the other guy, for starters. Going the lawyer route first might help your case first, though...

Just wow. Hang in there, Bear

 

[ancientone51]

All I have to offer is my good thoughts and prayers.

Gentle Zen hugs are on the way as well.

Keep us posted as well as you can and GO GET 'EM TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(erh, BEAR!!)

 

[Australis]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about this, Bears.

You are absolutely right. Don't back down. Sue their sorry asses. Fuck them up.

I understand about the victim, be he only compounds the crime instead of exposing it and ending it.

BE angry. You have every right to be angry. Don't let the nightmares haunt you. Get help when and where you need it. And it sounds you'd be better off out of that shithole - no matter how nice your apartment, you're better off somewhere else.

Again, really sorry to hear about this. I think it's safe to say that you have the ssupport of everyone here, and we'll help however we can.

Take care, take it easy, but don't take shit.

 

[pookha]

I know what you're saying, but he is still endangering others by not acting, which makes it a tough thing to say he is totally deserving of sympathy.

Well, I agree with your first part but still, at the end of the day, he's too psychologically beaten to do anything. Stockholm Syndrome.

Then isn't it more fool him for staying past the first time? It's not like he was kidnapped and forcibly made to stay. I do have sympathy for anyone in such a situation, but I also think it's despicable to know that he is also harming others and just do nothing.

part of the problem we dont know the situation he is facing.
often the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is when they leave.
most of the murders happen after a person leaves not while they are in the relationship.

i dont blame bears for being angry with the person.
but it is possible they are acting out in fear.
there may have been threats made that if they leave they will be killed.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

Well, I agree with your first part but still, at the end of the day, he's too psychologically beaten to do anything. Stockholm Syndrome.

Then isn't it more fool him for staying past the first time? It's not like he was kidnapped and forcibly made to stay. I do have sympathy for anyone in such a situation, but I also think it's despicable to know that he is also harming others and just do nothing.

part of the problem we dont know the situation he is facing.
often the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is when they leave.
most of the murders happen after a person leaves not while they are in the relationship.

i dont blame bears for being angry with the person.
but it is possible they are acting out in fear.
there may have been threats made that if they leave they will be killed.

I do feel sorry for them being in that position, psychologically and physically abused. But the fact that they're putting others in a position to be harmed makes me less inclined to be sympathetic.
Do harm to yourself, fine that's your choice, but harming innocent bystanders doesn't sit well with me.

 

[Emher]

I am truly sorry that this awful series of events have happened to you.

And I concur with the choire of votes that say: SUE THE FUCKERS BROKE!!!

 

[TheBrew]

Fuck. I know this is the testosterone talking, but I feel like going down there all "Sin City" style and beating some ass. The fact that he isn't in jail right now is bull-fucking-shit. Nobody, Nobody should have to go through what you went through. You went and did the hard thing, the right thing and all you have to show for it is a cast. Your landlord sounds like a real prick too. Most landlords of apartment buildings are. If he really decides to be a giant prick about the whole incident, I would move back home and then sue his ass so hard that he would start to think he was a worn out gay porn star.

Fuck. Good people don't deserve this and yet the randomness of the world insures that it happens. Hopefully this will all lead to some big positive changes in your life.

If you're ever near Ohio, stop by and we can both head out there and take these guys down. I don't get angry easily, but something like this? I act like a moving mountain of pain.

J.

I'm in NorCal, so it would make more sense for you to come here and then we get in our 1978 Camaro, put on some cowboy boots, and drive down to kick some ass!

 

[FrontLine]

Holy shit. First of all Bears, Im glad you made it through that alive. Im proud of you for standing up and so heart sick for you. You done good and no, considering things, you did the best you could have. Don't second guess your self. It will eat you up. Again, you are a credit to humanity.

Now on to some other things. As painful as it will be, get thine ass in a car and go to the VAP in person. The shit heads arrest should be a matter of public record. Try contacting the DA with the case number you were given by the PD. As a victim pressing charges you have a right to know what is going on and also to get a restraining order keeping him from your building. His arrest is a matter of public record and that cannot be kept from you. Next, get an attorney to help you through the dipshhits at the PD and with your manager. The manager must also take action or he can be held liable to any harm to you. Get an attorney and have him talk to the manager and he should be able to get you into a 1st floor apartment with no problem. The manager is a dipshit and tyring to be smart. The attorney will fix his ass.

As for feeling sympathy for the victim or being insensitive, fuck him, fuck him raw and in the ear. Its because of the both of them that you are injured. Anyone that tells you that has their head so firmly planted up their ass that they are of no use. Those dipshits are scum.

Finally if there is anything I can do (and I dont know what I can) do not hesitate to ask me.

Fuck. I know this is the testosterone talking, but I feel like going down there all "Sin City" style and beating some ass.

you aint the only one. I have met Bears. She is a lovely young lady. Im in full on dad-in-fucking-rage mode.

Oh and I suggest this

as the best pepper spray / delievery system out there.

He's an abused spouse and just because he doesn't want to press charges against his attacker doesn't necessarily speak ill of his character. He has Stockholm or abused spouse syndrome. He's been beaten psychologically as well as physically.

I don't think a whole lot of shame and hate should be heaped on him, nor any wish of more harm to him. He's just as battered and beaten as BDF, if not more so because he's mentally beaten too. He needs pity and help not scorn and hate.

Fuck him. He is a grown adult, not an infant who doesnt know any better. I've seen situations like this time and time again. Concerned and loving friends and family try to intervene for years and the "victim" just blows them off. Well that's all fine and well. They want to be a punching bag, that's their thing. But the moment is spills out and an innocent victim becomes apart of the drama my sympathy goes out the fucking window. So again, fuck him. He is an adult and knew what was right and what was wrong and decided to ignore it all because he felt insecure or had no self esteem or just like the piece of ass he was getting. Now for his selfishness someone else has been hurt, some one I care about. I hope the bastard has nightmares forever and cant look at himself in the mirror with out wanting to cry.

 

[SPOCKED]

What shocking and horrible misfortune. We're so sorry this happened to you, Bears.

 

[Scout101]

Pretty much. If he wants to take a beating and not complain, that's his thing. When he screams in a common area, though, or calls out for help, and then protects the attacker instead of the rescuer, he's got a bigger problem, and a legal liability IMO.

Kick ass and take names!

 

[Crusher Disciple]

Fuck him. He is a grown adult, not an infant who doesnt know any better. I've seen situations like this time and time again. Concerned and loving friends and family try to intervene for years and the "victim" just blows them off. Well that's all fine and well. They want to be a punching bag, that's their thing. But the moment is spills out and an innocent victim becomes apart of the drama my sympathy goes out the fucking window. So again, fuck him. He is an adult and knew what was right and what was wrong and decided to ignore it all because he felt insecure or had no self esteem or just like the piece of ass he was getting. Now for his selfishness someone else has been hurt, some one I care about. I hope the bastard has nightmares forever and cant look at himself in the mirror with out wanting to cry.

This is why I love this man.

Bears, you're in my thoughts and I'm pulling for you. And I agree with Frontie. Dont' second guess yourself. You're a hero for trying to intervene and save another person's life.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Wow. They say Chuck Norris isn't afraid of anything, but Bears is the one person that makes him wet the bed in fear.

 

[Aurian]

Im horrified by this, Bears.

Get well, get a laywer, sue them.
Recover completely and swiftly.
*hugs*

 

[StolenThunder]

You did something very brave, and I have little doubt that personality trait will help you through what is to come.

 

[DBR]

Nobody should have to deal with this garbage--I'm sorry to hear you had to, BDF. Best of luck, you'll come out of this as a better person, I'm sure.

 

[JAG]

I've told you how brave you are Bears. Keep following up on all of this. I am sure it will work out. You are in my thoughts and prayers.